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Original poster

Director of Education privately educates their children

114 replies

Thattennis · 28/10/2025 22:30

Recently I met our local councils director of education through a social event. He has 2 children who are primary aged and I know these children are privately educated and his wife also works at this private school. I do know he has worked within several of the schools in our council and he does have a good reputation if a little under experienced/young. His children would have started school after he took on the role.

However something about the director of education choosing to privately educate his own children doesn’t fully sit well with me. If he is supposed to be championing the system for our children then it reads bad to me that he doesn’t even believe in the system enough to place his own children in it? Our council area is massively mixed with some wealthier areas but also an abundance of council estates and economically deprived rural areas. The entire council only has one private school and it’s not particularly large.

AIBU to feel a little uncomfortable that the director of education doesn’t believe in the schools he is responsible for enough to place his own children in them?

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 28/10/2025 22:46

I get what you are saying, he is championing state school but thinks private school is the best option for his children. He should be fully backing state school.

we grew up in a smallish village and two of the teachers lived and worked in the school but didn’t think it was good enough for their children and sent them to private school. That always left a sour taste in my mouth, the local school was good enough for them to work in and to teach all the village children but not good enough for their children.

Ineffable23 · 28/10/2025 22:45

HostaCentral · 28/10/2025 22:42

It's fine. It doesn't mean he isn't too committed to the job he does. Maybe he wants all children to have the same standard as his own.

Many NHS trusts have private healthcare as a benefit. No different. Indeed many consultants work across both NHS and private, as do GP's. Doesn't make them any less committed.

Genuinely interested in this - where have you seen that as a benefit? I have never come across it and assumed that was because it would be entirely politically unacceptable. I was struggling to even get them to run a collective travel insurance offer like most firms have when I was there.

noworklifebalance · 28/10/2025 22:43

I don’t know, @Thattennis , it’s tricky. Just because you work in the system doesn’t mean your think it’s fit for purpose - people often work in systems, doing their best in an imperfect situation. I can understand if he feels this way then he may not want to educate his children in the local state schools.

CopperWhite · 28/10/2025 22:43

YANBU to be uncomfortable with it, but no one is obliged to make parenting choices for their children based on the perceptions of others. He has as much right to choose private education as anyone else.

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/10/2025 22:42

Don’t blame him. Thats his job. I wouldn’t use my kids as guinea pigs either.

DontGoJasonWaterfalls · 28/10/2025 22:42

If his wife works there it probably just makes more sense for them to go there? Logistically, if nothing else.

HostaCentral · 28/10/2025 22:42

It's fine. It doesn't mean he isn't too committed to the job he does. Maybe he wants all children to have the same standard as his own.

Many NHS trusts have private healthcare as a benefit. No different. Indeed many consultants work across both NHS and private, as do GP's. Doesn't make them any less committed.

sittingonabeach · 28/10/2025 22:41

If wife works there they probably get a staff discount.

Original poster
Thattennis · 28/10/2025 22:39

I do understand all the positives of private schools and understand why someone would pick them. My
issue isn’t with their existence or that for some people it is a genuinely better choice.

I guess I just feel like if someone’s entire job centres around ensuring the state schools in our area are of a high quality, they should in theory send their children to one of these schools.
I guess I view at as the chef refusing to eat his own food which is hardly a vote of confidence.

OP posts:
NoSoupForU · 28/10/2025 22:39

No he isn't supposed to be championing the state system. He's supposed to be leading the strategy for delivery of education and ensuring legal and statutory compliance within it.

Turtle275 · 28/10/2025 22:37

It could just be that there is a discount due to their Mum working in that school which made it seem more worth it. I get where you’re coming from though.

HeavenInMyHeart · 28/10/2025 22:37

Thattennis · 28/10/2025 22:35

I understand there may be other motives but it’s unlikely to be bullying or SEN. The private school is notoriously not fit for children with additional needs, it has an awful reputation in that sense. As for bullying both children started school there from what his wife said so they wouldn’t have had the chance to be bullied in the state system.

Show quote history

You don’t know that though.

Maybe one is ND and they just need smaller class sizes. Maybe the school is a better fit for other reasons.

Original poster
Thattennis · 28/10/2025 22:35

HeavenInMyHeart · 28/10/2025 22:33

At the end of the day, it’s his choice.

I personally don’t believe private education should exist in any form. But it does, and people will use it. You don’t know if he’s using it because his children have SEN, and thrive in the environment of a private school. You don’t know if they’ve had horrendous bullying experiences and they need smaller class sizes due to mental health issues. You don’t know why they’re there, and what experiences and expertise he brings to the role.

I understand there may be other motives but it’s unlikely to be bullying or SEN. The private school is notoriously not fit for children with additional needs, it has an awful reputation in that sense. As for bullying both children started school there from what his wife said so they wouldn’t have had the chance to be bullied in the state system.

OP posts:
HeavenInMyHeart · 28/10/2025 22:33

At the end of the day, it’s his choice.

I personally don’t believe private education should exist in any form. But it does, and people will use it. You don’t know if he’s using it because his children have SEN, and thrive in the environment of a private school. You don’t know if they’ve had horrendous bullying experiences and they need smaller class sizes due to mental health issues. You don’t know why they’re there, and what experiences and expertise he brings to the role.

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