Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

There’s a reason Prozac was nicknamed mummy’s little helper

The problem is, it's still not 50-50.

My poor sister has a husband who expects her to work full-time, refuses to entertain part-time working when she had a child (it wouldn't be fair!), yet she is still expected to do most of the housework and cooking.

He doesn't see the problem.

Men nowadays expect us to work AND do the majority of childcare etc.

How exactly do we rage against the system? We are trapped in a cost of living crisis. There’s an illusion of choice. We simply don’t have the choice of not working.

But why is that because of feminism? Seriously? No one on this forum is going to let anyone get away with nebulous complaints like "feminism said I could have it all and I can't". What feminism works for is getting women on an equal footing with men and keeping them there. It's not about giving individual women everything they want regardless of general political and economic issues. How many men do you think can typically afford to work part time in the circumstances you describe?

The problem is, it's still not 50-50.

My poor sister has a husband who expects her to work full-time, refuses to entertain part-time working when she had a child (it wouldn't be fair!), yet she is still expected to do most of the housework and cooking.

He doesn't see the problem.

Men nowadays expect us to work AND do the majority of childcare etc.

The problem is, it's still not 50-50.

My poor sister has a husband who expects her to work full-time, refuses to entertain part-time working when she had a child (it wouldn't be fair!), yet she is still expected to do most of the housework and cooking.

He doesn't see the problem.

Men nowadays expect us to work AND do the majority of childcare etc.

The sad thing I get from the OP is that millennial women (I know not all) don’t seem to understand history at all. If they really think life was easier for women in the past then they haven’t bothered to read up on women’s (and men’s!) lives in the last 200 years.

and we seem to live in a time when people think life should be easy and they shouldn’t have to make difficult choices. No one seems to want to take any responsibility for themselves. Yes times are tough at the moment but no more so than in the past - just different. And go spend time in other parts of the world if you really want to appreciate how lucky we are

I agree with you op. There is a growing trend of men looking for financial partners rather than just partners which is down to a lot of factors but often the ‘you wanted equality’ is thrown in your face when you question the 50/50 guys. There is a thread right now where op’s bf has her splitting coffees and lunch down the middle.

I was not expecting you to divulge your whole financial situation to a stranger on the internet and you know I wasn’t. So my question wasn’t meant to offend you. Many posters on MN give a brief overview of their situation, that’s how it works.

My DD, 31, has 2 degrees, is a nurse, is doing a
masters, has two children, is married, has just
launched her own business, goes to the gym,
has her eyebrows done. Both her and her DH,
do the DC activities and care equally. She is none stop. She does get very tired. Her husband is a tradesman. He’s not perfect, but he does his bit. My DH and I do our bit too!

She actually gave up work to pursue her dreams,
they have had to tighten their belts, considerably. But they will get there. They live in the SE of England.

There is always a way in this country. You might just need to make other choices. That’s my point.

I'm irrationally annoyed by the OP and others on this thread who are unwilling to recognise even a fraction of how much previous generations of feminist women have done for them. How on earth can they be so ignorant?!

I would be so utterly ashamed if my own dd was so clueless. I really hope that I have done enough to educate her about those incredible women upon whose shoulders both she and I stand.

What do you mean why?! I’m not about to divulge my full financial and job situation with a stranger on the internet. No female my age in my circle can afford to work part time. We live in South East of England. House prices are extortionate, salaries haven’t kept up with these prices or the cost of living. I am mid 30s. Went to uni 3x to be in the career I’m in. I simply need more equity / more savings behind me but have only really started earning a good ish wage since I qualified 3 years ago. Happy?

Most women imo on Mumsnet with “choices” are those with inherited wealth or assets, live in a cheaper area ie up north or different country altogether, have higher paid jobs or partners in high flying jobs.

What do you mean why?! I’m not about to divulge my full financial and job situation with a stranger on the internet. No female my age in my circle can afford to work part time. We live in South East of England. House prices are extortionate, salaries haven’t kept up with these prices or the cost of living. I am mid 30s. Went to uni 3x to be in the career I’m in. I simply need more equity / more savings behind me but have only really started earning a good ish wage since I qualified 3 years ago. Happy?

Most women imo on Mumsnet with “choices” are those with inherited wealth or assets, live in a cheaper area ie up north or different country altogether, have higher paid jobs or partners in high flying jobs.

@ConservativeC2, are you actually going to come back to the thread to tell us what you think after reading the many excellent posts which have highlighted the various ways in which feminism has benefited women?

Or did you just want to post your tradwife views without really engaging in any discussion?

I personally would like to have a child and work part-time but as it stands, we simply can’t afford it.

Why?

I personally would like to have a child and work part-time but as it stands, we simply can’t afford it.

I personally would like to have a child and work part-time but as it stands, we simply can’t afford it.

You have a voice and you are expressing your rage at the fact that you “don’t have the choice of not working”. Genuine question, do you want
to stay at home, looking after children, husbands and home. Do you want men to work to facilitate that life? You speak about choice, what does choice look like to you?

@ConservativeC2 Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family.

Anyone who hasn't worked this out by the age of about, 12, probably isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work.

You can choose not to work. You just have to ensure that you're the 1 woman out of 100 who has a relationship with a man within the top 1% of earners.

Listening to the women I work with, it's been interesting to hear their views about feminism and they are not happy. We are all millennial age so not too young, not too old and I keep hearing that it's the millennial generation of women that have absolutely lost out the most.

I think feminism initially promoted some idea of independence, equality and choice. Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work. The worst part is they still do a larger share of the domestic work and childcare. So I think women now have it worse than ever - it's not just me, my female colleagues feel the same way. They've come to point in life where they want to start a family but they know they will have to come back to work.

Now it's all to do with feminism. There are other factors which has driven up the cost of living (inflation, property prices, profit extraction from multinational corporates etc).

You have a voice and you are expressing your rage at the fact that you “don’t have the choice of not working”. Genuine question, do you want
to stay at home, looking after children, husbands and home. Do you want men to work to facilitate that life? You speak about choice, what does choice look like to you?