Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

Some of us are fortunate enough to have men who do step up plenty, but I agree that they seem to be in the minority.

And where are the men, the fathers in all of this? Why should women have to have careers to protect themselves from this? Sounds like even more work for women — productivity has been upped. It’s exhausting. I am thankful however to have my own career and to be able to support myself… but I would like men to step up more.

I can be proud of what I like. I’m proud of my husband, proud of our children, proud of my home and garden (people on here have a massive issue with someone enjoying having a well-maintained garden! 😂)

Im much prouder of all of the above than my first class degree, all my varied academic achievements and previous career successes. There’s just no comparison for me personally, I’m proudest of what I’ve achieved in my personal life. We are all different.

@MagicLoop Absolutely this. I've been married twice and zero regrets about getting rid of the first husband! Luckily having a career made this possible and far easier.

Hmmm, sounds like childcare falling onto other women in society? This is also a feminist issue, and guess what, also where feminism intersects with economics!

I've been happily married for over 20 years, but it wouldn't occur to me to be proud of that. The reason I'm still happily married is partly that I chose the right person in the first place, but apart from that, the fact that I met him, and the fact that nothing's gone seriously wrong since then, are pretty much down to good luck. I'm still with dh because I want to be. I wouldn't stay in a bad or unhappy marriage just because of my wedding vows!

Unlike the many people who spend years ‘begging’ off their parents in various ways for years? Never learning to drive, never moving out, phoning mum and dad for lifts everywhere, demanding money, demanding on tap babysitting/childcare, sometimes for 5 days a week!

I have friends who criticise women for ‘depending’ on their husbands who in the next breath are taking advantage of both their own mother and MILs generosity- they look after their children, clean their homes, do their washing, cook their dinner and facilitate all the gym sessions, appointments, etc.

They are far more dependent that me! I was driving at 18 and moved out in my early 20s. I never ask my mum for anything.

Hypocrites much!

I’m very proud of being married, I took my marriage vows very seriously and meant them. Of course a happy marriage is something to be proud of, but that gets lost on here. It’s very in fashion to come on here slagging off your husband and blaming him for everything under the sun- that’s not how either me or my DH talk about or behave towards each other.

Unfortunately, career, travel, etc are valued more highly now that marriage and motherhood, but I still massively prefer the latter.

@ThankYouNigel You've never needed to as you married a rich man!
What is the open job offer for?

I think you will find that scenario is not nonsense for lots of women who foolishly put their fate in the hands of a man.

If you're happy to live in your mums spare bedroom in the event of relationship breakdown thats great- personally Id prefer to support myself without begging.

Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family.

Out of interest, how many women have you spoken to about the power imbalance who were adults in the 50s to 70s? And why do you think it wasn’t true?

Because I’m thinking about women having to obtain their husband’s permission to open a bank account until 1975. Zero chance of getting a mortgage without a husband or father co signing. No credit prior to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act of 1974, not being allowed to sue for sexual harassment in the workplace until 1977, they could get fired for getting pregnant. Until 1982, it was legal to refuse service to a woman in a pub, simply because they were a woman. Husbands were legally allowed to rape their wives until 1991. I very much remember the 80s when it was considered acceptable for a husband to beat his wife and ‘domestics’ weren’t attended even if the wife was screaming for help. Have you ever heard of the marriage bar? It was only in the 50s that nurses were allowed to keep their jobs after marriage. Even then, the practice of ‘encouraging’ married women to leave the profession didn’t end until the 70s. And you could forget about having any kind of job in the Foreign Service as a married woman before 1973. In 1963, women were earning about 60% less than men doing the same job. It wasn’t until 1975 that the Equal pay act of 1970 came into force and fifty years later, we’re still talking about the gender pay gap. Access to the pill was limited and unmarried mothers homes were very much a thing.

If you think that it was just some men who held all the money and power, then you probably need to brush up on your history. Men (not just powerful men, but husbands and fathers) controlled women’s access to money, employment, housing, education, birth control, the right to say no to sex, the right not to be beaten, as well as a million other things that may have been legally possible but if him indoors said no, that was that.

Absolutely.
You have your own bank account right? In your own name?
You can apply for loans - in your own name without having your dad or husband sign for you? You have equal salary ?
Brilliant- thats down to feminism.

In many ways, I think the OP's comments reflect the tremendous success of feminism. So many of the hard won rights and freedoms secured with such difficulty by earlier generations of women are now taken so much for granted that some younger women don't even have any idea what they owe to the feminist movement. So they are free to lament the fact that they no longer have the freedom to be ladies who lunch without having to give a second thought to what life was actually like for the majority of women before the advent of feminism. They look back on a bygone era with a rose-tinted perspective that makes them utterly oblivious to why women had to fight so hard to secure the rights that we consider to be normal and natural today.

But you are aware that feminism and economics intersect right? They do not exist separately.

The fear mongering on here is off the chart, seriously!

OK, let’s indulge this nonsense. My DH announces tomorrow he wants a divorce:

• Our home is in both our names, so half of that is mine. It’s rocketed in value, so yeah, I’d be fine with half of that.
• Let’s say it wasn’t/he physically threw me out and changed the locks. My mum lives a few mins away and has spare rooms to instantly house myself and our children whilst I got back on my feet.
• I have an open job offer from the Head personally at my DCs school where I do all sorts of regular volunteering, so I that would be sorted pretty quickly!

What do you mean why?! I’m not about to divulge my full financial and job situation with a stranger on the internet. No female my age in my circle can afford to work part time. We live in South East of England. House prices are extortionate, salaries haven’t kept up with these prices or the cost of living. I am mid 30s. Went to uni 3x to be in the career I’m in. I simply need more equity / more savings behind me but have only really started earning a good ish wage since I qualified 3 years ago. Happy?

Most women imo on Mumsnet with “choices” are those with inherited wealth or assets, live in a cheaper area ie up north or different country altogether, have higher paid jobs or partners in high flying jobs.