Feminism sold a lie - Women, today, are worse off than ever

Let’s turn it around. At least you got 6 weeks. Because I’m adopted(as a baby), my mum got nothing, maybe she wasn’t happy to be working either to pay for your 6 weeks.

If you want to stay at home, you have the choice to marry someone rich, or make do and mend like a pp on this thread.

For the rest of it, the solution is to make men better. Not to whinge because the work of feminism isn't yet done.

I'm 57. I've always worked. My mother always worked - even when we were little, she worked two nights a week in a teacher training college, teaching the teachers of the future. Later on she went back to full time teaching in a secondary school.

And my grandmother on my father's science was a research chemist - she and my grandfather both worked.

While it's true that I didn't have a choice about working because my husband wasn't a high earner, I wanted to work. It would have been nice to have had the flexible options that are around these days, but at least they are there for the women of today.

Do they though? Do women REALLY have a choice these days???

Whilst women had little choice years ago and couldn't work/didn't work, and now they're allowed, many women now HAVE to work because they don't have the choice to NOT work. Some women would much rather stay at home with the children, and be a homemaker.

Yes, yes, yes.... I know, some of you will say you 'couldn't think of anything WORSE' 🙄 but some women would rather not HAVE to go out to work, along with STILL doing most of the wifework/domestic drudgery/childcare. And they do.

Don't anyone pull the 'husband/partner does 50% of everything' card, because the majority of men do not. And they still expect the wife/the mother of their children to go out to work though (as well as picking up most of the domestic work!)

Feminism has fucked over many women, because just like our mother/grandmothers/great grandmothers and so on, many of us STILL have no choice. The difference is many women today have no choice but to WORK. As well as taking on all the domestic duties, childcare, and gruntwork.

Yeah, are women REALLY better off? 🙄I agree with the OP - feminism has sold women a LIE, a bit fat LIE. Some women are buying it too.

Sad.

Oh, and in my family, the majority of women in past generations (pre 1970s) did not work, (once they were married,) and they were working class. So it's nonsense that all working class married women have always worked. They did (part time) when the kids had left home, for a bit of money of their own, but many did not work until they were 45-50+. I know it doesn't suit some people to hear that, but it's true. It's nonsense that ONLY middle class and upper class married women stayed at home!!!

Haven’t read whole thread and someone’s probably already said this, but your OP reads very middle class background. Every woman in my working class family going back generations has had to work whilst raising kids.

This is not a new millennial thing for us. My life is better and I have more opportunities than all the women in my family before me.

Do they though? Do women REALLY have a choice these days???

Whilst women had little choice years ago and couldn't work/didn't work, and now they're allowed, many women now HAVE to work because they don't have the choice to NOT work. Some women would much rather stay at home with the children, and be a homemaker.

Yes, yes, yes.... I know, some of you will say you 'couldn't think of anything WORSE' 🙄 but some women would rather not HAVE to go out to work, along with STILL doing most of the wifework/domestic drudgery/childcare. And they do.

Don't anyone pull the 'husband/partner does 50% of everything' card, because the majority of men do not. And they still expect the wife/the mother of their children to go out to work though (as well as picking up most of the domestic work!)

Feminism has fucked over many women, because just like our mother/grandmothers/great grandmothers and so on, many of us STILL have no choice. The difference is many women today have no choice but to WORK. As well as taking on all the domestic duties, childcare, and gruntwork.

Yeah, are women REALLY better off? 🙄I agree with the OP - feminism has sold women a LIE, a bit fat LIE. Some women are buying it too.

Sad.

Oh, and in my family, the majority of women in past generations (pre 1970s) did not work, (once they were married,) and they were working class. So it's nonsense that all working class married women have always worked. They did (part time) when the kids had left home, for a bit of money of their own, but many did not work until they were 45-50+. I know it doesn't suit some people to hear that, but it's true. It's nonsense that ONLY middle class and upper class married women stayed at home!!!

You're absolutely right of course. That's actually very probably why I don't feel like that about it. Dh and I are both lucky to come from very stable families full of long-lasting marriages. When I say I don't feel proud about staying together, I suppose it's because it hasn't felt difficult to me, and it just feels like a normal trajectory. On reflection I can absolutely see why it fees like a wonderful achievement if you come from a difficult family background. You are very justified in feeling proud!

Do they though? Do women REALLY have a choice these days???

Whilst women had little choice years ago and couldn't work/didn't work, and now they're allowed, many women now HAVE to work because they don't have the choice to NOT work. Some women would much rather stay at home with the children, and be a homemaker.

Yes, yes, yes.... I know, some of you will say you 'couldn't think of anything WORSE' 🙄 but some women would rather not HAVE to go out to work, along with STILL doing most of the wifework/domestic drudgery/childcare. And they do.

Don't anyone pull the 'husband/partner does 50% of everything' card, because the majority of men do not. And they still expect the wife/the mother of their children to go out to work though (as well as picking up most of the domestic work!)

Feminism has fucked over many women, because just like our mother/grandmothers/great grandmothers and so on, many of us STILL have no choice. The difference is many women today have no choice but to WORK. As well as taking on all the domestic duties, childcare, and gruntwork.

Yeah, are women REALLY better off? 🙄I agree with the OP - feminism has sold women a LIE, a bit fat LIE. Some women are buying it too.

Sad.

Oh, and in my family, the majority of women in past generations (pre 1970s) did not work, (once they were married,) and they were working class. So it's nonsense that all working class married women have always worked. They did (part time) when the kids had left home, for a bit of money of their own, but many did not work until they were 45-50+. I know it doesn't suit some people to hear that, but it's true. It's nonsense that ONLY middle class and upper class married women stayed at home!!!

And isn’t it amazing that they have that choice ? Which wouldn’t have been the case in the years gone by.

Listening to the women I work with, it's been interesting to hear their views about feminism and they are not happy. We are all millennial age so not too young, not too old and I keep hearing that it's the millennial generation of women that have absolutely lost out the most.

I think feminism initially promoted some idea of independence, equality and choice. Phrases like 'men hold all the money and power' at the time were very emotive whilst not entirely true. The correct statement then (and still now) is some men hold all the money and power. Most men back in the 50s-70s worked very long hours and spent pretty much all their money on their family. It was hard for everyone, but I think women were more empowered then than now.

In contrast to today, most of the women my age have to work. Whilst feminism promotes choice, most of them do not actually have a choice today. Most men today do not earn enough to run a household which means most women have to work. The worst part is they still do a larger share of the domestic work and childcare. So I think women now have it worse than ever - it's not just me, my female colleagues feel the same way. They've come to point in life where they want to start a family but they know they will have to come back to work.

Now it's all to do with feminism. There are other factors which has driven up the cost of living (inflation, property prices, profit extraction from multinational corporates etc).

I've been saying this for years. Women have the illusion of "power" etc but in reality, things are different, rather than better. Working women now have to do even more, i.e. work as well as childcare/housework etc., as housing costs have risen so high, due to demand push inflation, i.e. because couples have more income (due to two workers), they can pay more for housing, and thus has caused the housing cost inflation (and other inflations), which mean that you now need two working people to pay for the same life style that you could afford on one wage a few decades ago.

I went back to work when DD was 6 weeks old, because in the 90s -

”Women were legally entitled to 14 weeks of maternity leave, and only some qualified for Statutory Maternity Pay (around six weeks at 90 % of earnings, then 12 weeks at a flat rate that was barely £50 a week). Many employers offered nothing extra, so plenty of mothers went back within three to four months, sometimes sooner”.

I looked at my DD as she napped. I was skint and I called work and said can I come back?

That would be considered cruel by mums now days, but DD is well adjusted and we have a brilliant relationship.

My millennial niece said to me the other day “I
am happy to pay my taxes for new mums stay at home with their babies for a year”.

My reply “I’m not!”

I mean how many men can singularly afford to pay the mortgage for a three bed semi detached, bills, 2 cars (one when he's at work, other needed for school drop/picks and clubs), at least one holiday a year and all the other things that just what an average brit does, I'm not talking about an excessive lifestyle.

The point was men could afford to run a household a long time ago and now then can't. This means women have to work to work to ensure all those costs are met. This was my point, they had the choice before and it's pretty much that they don't have the choice.

I went back to work when DD was 6 weeks old, because in the 90s -

”Women were legally entitled to 14 weeks of maternity leave, and only some qualified for Statutory Maternity Pay (around six weeks at 90 % of earnings, then 12 weeks at a flat rate that was barely £50 a week). Many employers offered nothing extra, so plenty of mothers went back within three to four months, sometimes sooner”.

I looked at my DD as she napped. I was skint and I called work and said can I come back?

That would be considered cruel by mums now days, but DD is well adjusted and we have a brilliant relationship.

My millennial niece said to me the other day “I
am happy to pay my taxes for new mums stay at home with their babies for a year”.

My reply “I’m not!”

Sounds like you under-estimate how much commitment it takes to sustain a marriage for over 20 years- you both have a great deal to be proud of IMO.

I had no template of a good marriage and stability myself, I come from a family with all sorts of really awful issues, so I am perhaps prouder than most of what my husband and I have achieved together, I don’t take it for granted. When you come from chaos you appreciate stability, companionship, loyalty, truth and teamwork.

Working class women have always worked. Either with their husbands on farms/in small businesses or later in factories as well. There wasn't a golden time where women didn't go out to work. Additionally, those who worked in the home did much harder physical labour without hoovers, washing machines etc etc.

The magical pre-feminist past you are dreaming of never existed. What did exist was women trapped in abusive or miserable marriages because divorce didn't exist and then was seen as shameful.

I know lots of women with top 1-2% incomes and they are still expected to pick up the slack with domestic duties and childcare.

Income level doesn’t seem to impact this - the only plus being they can afford to outsource some of it.