Moving in with partner- pay £400 rent? Is that ok?

The idea of basing it on percentage of salary is kind of sound if the numbers InLoveWithAI gave are correct. That is if you are a partner and not just a lodger with benefits.

The principle of basing it on the mortgage amount may or may not be to your advantage. Sometimes the rent on a property is lower than a mortgage would be but sometimes rent is higher. To be truly fair to all parties it should be based not on the mortgage amount but on the percentages of what the house would rent for. His mortgage might be low because he has paid most of it off for example. The rental value of his house might be £2,400 a month, or it might actually be £1,200.

Let’s assume the rental value of his entire house is £1,000. You and your daughter will effectively be renting half the house so £500 (plus bills and food). This needs to be made very clear to his DD.

What your daughter pays you is up to you. What his daughter pays him is up to him. That said, to keep the peace I would suggest both daughters pay rent also based on their respective incomes. If that means his DD is still paying her dad £300, it might mean your daughter pays you £100. It also covers the scenarios where one DD is out of work or in education etc. to prevent arguements in the future.

You need to make sure that you and your daughter will benefit from the new scenario financially, and put the saved money into an account for you and your daughters future.

You're moving in after 5 years because he has financial troubles; not as a natural progression of the relationship.

His daughter is already demanding fairness.

You have dodged questions on whether you'll actually be better/worse off financially. I mean, your rent may be £900 with UC paying £600, so who knows.

All a bit 🤔 for me, but your daughters are eager to live together and you're generous, so 🤷🏾‍♀️.

A lodger would have rights but OP who could come back to his house one day to find he’s changed her locks and there would be nothing she could do about it.

Absolute madness.
You will both be lodgers in his home on his and his daughters terms.
Paying through the nose for it too.
Stay where you are.
This is all about him and you suiting him and paying his morgage.
He gets a housekeeper and sex on tap and you don't even get your own room.
Madness.

I wouldn't pay anything towards his mortgage until you're married because if you spilt up you'll get nothing back. Half the bills for you and your dd is reasonable though as they are your costs. Whether you pay it all or your dd contributes part is entirely up to you. Not everyone charges their grown up children to live with them, even if they do have a part time job.

I think you need to discuss this with him, not us.

@Susan7654 he wants you to move in because he is struggling? Your DD wants you to move in more than you do? The only reason for moving in is because you and DP want to.

His DD is too involved re the rent as well. I understand it may come from a place of being threatened but not her business.

Also, if you just split the bills 50:50 between you and he, the arrangements for the daughters are between he and his and you and yours. I’m honestly not sure about how much ‘rent’ on top.

How much is the mortgage? I’d be worrying this is turning into you subsidising it with no rights to the property - although I know that’s something much further down the line, what would you do longer term?

I would talk to him about all this (the two of you) but if you are going to do it, do it for a trial period only. I’d also only do it if your parenting styles are very similar otherwise one of you is likely to be resentful.

If you are set on doing this, ring fence the £300 you would normally pay for rent and keep it in a savings account for yourself.

I more or less agree with this. It sounds like there will be resentment on all sides. And what happens if you split up and its his house. Where will you go. But if you look on it as a temporary arrangement then I suppose that's OK.

Sounds about right to me OP, for general living expenses and covering costs while not making a profit out of you and recognising that you have no property interest in the house. My DM lived with us and paid £300 a month but there were economies of scale with more of us in the house.

I'd also try and save what you are not now spending on rent into a pension or ISA.

Definitely don’t do it. If your DP is doing this for financial reasons and his DD is a bit of a pain, it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. At the moment you are boss of your own home and a have a secure home for your DD, once you move in, you’ll have no say as it’s his home and you’ll technically just be a lodger as will your DD. It’ll change the dynamics of your relationship with that alone.

I think I you are paying £900 now for rent then £600 is too much . Offer the same as he was getting from his son £400 and half of bills and food. I'll bet his son wasn't paying for bills so he is still better off!. It has to be a big incentive for you to give up your own place. You can save more.are you going to be losing out on benefits moving in with him?

I think whilst it’s fair enough to not pay towards the capital repayments of the mortgage, paying towards interest is fair enough. I’d view it as rent the bank charges.

OP I do think £600 inclusive of bills is fair. I would say if you want your daughter to start paying board in future . Then that should come to you and would be a contribution towards your half of food budgets.

I would be taking the mortgage out of the equation. You will be helping him buy his house and you will not have any claim.

If you are moving in as a couple it should not be rent. You can charge the girls whatever board you want. Will you see a share of the board from both girls or will it all go to him, even though you will be buying their food and doing the daily responsibilities of that which falls to the parents. My DS gives me his board, my DSS gives his dad his.

You and him should be splitting the bills and daily living costs. You mention you will be buying your own food, that sounds a bit odd, will you not be eating together. I think you need to sit down with him and a spreadsheet and put everything down and lie the PP post work out the percentage, but again I would take the mortgage out of the equation, that's his

I don’t think OP should be paying half his mortgage.

£600 plus bills sounds about right but why don’t you agree to look at it again in 6 months time and see how things are going. I think there is an awful lot of scope for it to go wrong. You already don’t like the daughter.

Your DP earns twice as much as you but he's struggling to pay £500 a month more than your rent? AND he gets to own the home he's paying the mortgage for eventually?

Do you get any benefits op? Those will be lost if you move in together.

If he can't afford to pay his mortgage he needs to think about downsizing rather than relying on you to move in. If you fall out it'll be doubly hard to extricate yourself if there is a financial obligation.

His dd has too much knowledge of his financial situation. And needs to butt-out - what you agree is between the two of you and none of her business.

2 of you are moving in so I would say £600 wouldn’t be too much. That means that after his DD’s contribution he still has £500 to pay.

You will benefit from lower rent and also shared bills, so will be better off.

It’s your job to cover your DD’s costs as she is still in education. I think £400 for the two of you is too low.

But financially OP would be better off because she’d be able to save more than what she’s currently doing. But you’re right about the other potential adverse implications, it’s got disaster written all over it but the bottom line in my view is money. I think money is clouding OP’s judgement here.

I definitely wouldn't pay £300 for your dd, she is studying.

£400 seems fair.

How much are his bills and council tax?

Could actually be a lot worse off if it does go wrong because OP won't have a reference from a recent tenancy, possibly won't have enough saved for a new deposit, and if OP becomes financially entangled and he isn't credit worthy it could impact her even getting another tenancy!

You'll have absolutely no security- even less than in a private rental tenancy of your own- and its clear from what you've said about his increased mortgage and son leaving that this is a financial move on his part. I'd be so uncomfortable with this. Even if its dressed up as him wanting you all to be together I'm just so sceptical that that's the reason. If he really wants you to be together and share home/expenses it should be on a basis where you have some security if it goes wrong! Also be wary of becoming joint named on any utilities or bills. If he has any credit issues or does in the future it is going to affect you. If you do ever have to try and find another home that will be a big issue on you passing checks.

Let him get a lodger. Stay as you are.
This has got disaster written all over it!

This. The whole scenario reeks of dysfunction, financial and otherwise. Don’t entangle yourself. Or your daughter.