Cut ties because of their 2 year old sons behaviour?

Yes he may still be a baby
.But he is physically hurting other babies and small children

His parents are just making him worse by the sound of it. He is out on control and needs boundaries and support.

In that case, best solution is removing the child from the situation. Which clearly isn't happening here.

No point making excuses eh

Good point I wasn’t thinking of the age when I wrote it.

Really? I raised two boys myself (now teen & preteen) and spent a lot time around toddlers at one point and this sounds well outside the range of normal to me. I don't have easy answers, but the OP's child is absolutely entitled not to be treated like this.

In my experience, very young children don’t tend to mask at childcare because they’re just too young for that level of self control. It absolutely 100% can happen once they’re older at school though.

I’m sorry to say that if the child was ND, and the parent wasn’t taking measures to oversee their child’s behaviour (ie intervene if getting rough or violent). Then I’d still have second thoughts about letting my child mix with this child.

There’s one thing being pushed or shoved, maybe in a play fighting sort of way, but op describes the other child as strangling her child and headbutting him. Thats pretty strong behaviour, and one I wouldn’t tolerant (and where did he learn this? Surely strangling isn’t common behaviour for a child of that age?).

It’s interesting reading the replies. A lot of them seem to be based on the assumption that the child is ND, what if they aren’t? What if they are just naughty and parents can’t handle it when they wrap their hands around another child’s neck? Believe it or not, some kids are just badly behaved. Some children do bite, push, hit, for no other reason than they don’t have boundaries. This may also explain why in this case, it doesn’t happen in nursery.

If I had a friend who couldn’t parent their child and my child was suffering, I would think less of them. Yes it’s different if there is a ND, but I would be by my child’s side, ready to swoop them up if needed.

I’d see mum without kids for a bit. I ld say let’s leave the kids at home due to them clashing .

When you do meet with kids do it on neutral territory like a park.

Or the child is masking at childcare and letting all the negative behaviour out at home

It's incredible isn't it. I'd protect my child above all. Some of the people on here are absolutely insane.

This. Not sure it's helpful to be such a martyr really

🤣🤣🤣🤣

The parents of the child who has to be watched constantly should be sitting on the floor, you mean?

I went through this with a friend of mine. I didn't end the friendship. I could see she was trying her best and my DC wasn't overly bothered, he still wanted to play with my friends DC and wasn't phased by most of the swipes. Friends DC is 3 now and it happens a lot less.

To those saying it is awful to suggest not meeting up, would you say the same if you were being forced to spend time with an adult who had a disability/mental illness which caused them to headbutt/hit/grab your throat every time you saw them? Of course not. So why should a child be exposed to this? If the child is doing this so frequently that the parents have to constantly be watching ready to pull apart, it is no fun for anyone.
I was in this situation. It was such a shame as my older child played beautifully with the older sibling but my toddler was being hurt every time we met(despite constant supervision) so we sadly had to stop seeing the family, despite really liking the Mum.
It doesn't mean you are judging the parents or the child, but keeping your child safe.

You dont need to be friends with anyone you dont want too.
You wont be the first or last to end a friendship over a child behaviour.

And no her child doesn’t have to be a punchbag, when they go out they need to be close to the children be there playing with them, being their to stop any situation arising- not going with the intention of a coffee and letting them play independently. And at 2 that should be the expectation anyway!!!

There are some truly disgusting posts on here. Is this what society has come to, you aren’t meeting expected milestones and have social difficulties so the solution is to ban them from nursery and public life?! What century do we live in again?!!! For those who support this disgusting view I suggest you read the book the giver… perfect example of how a utopian society can be dystopian.

I've been the parent for whom the invitations dried up. It's horrible to think that all the Peter perfect parents are judging you because of your child's issues. If you drop these people now you can't expect to just pick up with them again later if/when it suits you.

I absolutely cannot believe that you would expect a 2year old to be a punch bag so because the child MAY have SN? It’s like a common theme on here. A child can be punched blue in the face and everyone needs to have more sympathy for the other child.

I think we all just got a lot of insight into how your children are taught to behave!

I think that is really unfair of you. She is a women who is coming to terms with the fact that her son may have a life long condition. As someone who is two more years down the line than your friend, I can tell you the heartache, the lack of empathy, the wait for diagnosis, the lack of funding and support when you finally do get a diagnosis, the fear of the government cutting support and funding. It’s all very real it all incredibly challenging. I get his behaviour towards your child is challenging, but just because you don’t get to relax and have a gossip doesn’t sit right. Your friend is going to shortly realise who are fair weather friends and who in her family and friends will be their to support. You need to decide which group you want to be in. If you decide to be a friend then see her at places that suit her child’s needs and that may well be her home- my son couldn’t tolerate the noise, the lights the soft play mats of a play centre. Sit on the floor with your child, monitor the situation and meet up with her without the kids! You can make this work and support her in the most difficult time (the time between investigating and diagnosing is by far the most challenging time) or drop her and let her invest her time in genuine support and care.

Would you accept domestic violence from your friend's husband because you don't want to upset her? Of course not. Protect your DS. Your DS comes first don't take him there again.

I absolutely will, and I will try equally hard to protect my DC from bigotry, narrow-mindedness and ableism, especially towards children.

This. I know others toddlers who were like this and then grew out of it just as quickly.