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AIBU?

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To think Dh is doing as little work as possible

56 replies

mrstumblesspottybag · 28/10/2025 13:39

We both work full time but if ever there’s not a lot on and they let someone go early Dh is the first to volunteer to go home bearing in mind he’s hourly paid.
Once he’s maxed out his paid holiday he will take unpaid holiday just because he likes time off.
He takes the maximum amount of sick days and will ask for bank holidays to be unpaid so he doesn’t lose a day there.
We don’t have a huge income between us but if ever he is asked to work late or go in on Saturday he will laugh and say no chance.
It isn’t because he doesn’t like his job it is because he doesn’t like working in any job so does the bare minimum.
He’s always done as little as possible but as he’s got older he seems to do less and less.
We aren’t in financial trouble or anything but to think he isn’t bothered taking less pay because he’d rather finish early or have an extra few days off here and there.

OP posts:
Tontostitis · 28/10/2025 13:59

My opinion is biased because I'm with him tbh I work to have enough money and then I don't work because I like being at home I like my garden I like my children and I like my husband. My husband's never been that keen on work but we are both retired he still takes on days work and works intermittently I'll never work outside the house again. Over the course of a long and happy marriage it's probably worked out even

MidnightPatrol · 28/10/2025 13:58

This is just a difference in approach I think.

You could argue… life is for living, not just working - so if you don’t need the money…

Agree on the messaging re taking lots of sick days just because you can’t be bothered to your kids.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/10/2025 13:57

I have one of these on my team. He's unmanageable and everyone has contempt for him. And I am baffled his lovely, hard-working wife puts up with him. It's not like he works hard when he's there either.

And in turn he doesn't understand why his son is lazy and totally unskilled as a teenager. And blames his wife.

mrstumblesspottybag · 28/10/2025 13:54

Tontostitis · 28/10/2025 13:48

You are neither reasonable nor unreasonable just different.. if there's no money worries what's wrong with his behavior other than the sick days which would really give me the ick. Is he a spender or a saver and is he using your money to do that or are you both comfortable I think we need more information to know if it's judgeable behavior

He’s the main earner as in earns more but we both work full time.
It started when I was on maternity and he wanted to spend more time with me and ds and just carried on now he just works as little as possible.
I don’t think it teaches our children about good work ethics.
It can’t look good to work colleagues when he’s always asking for half days or early finishes for imaginary appointments because he isn’t feeling it today

OP posts:
Tontostitis · 28/10/2025 13:48

You are neither reasonable nor unreasonable just different.. if there's no money worries what's wrong with his behavior other than the sick days which would really give me the ick. Is he a spender or a saver and is he using your money to do that or are you both comfortable I think we need more information to know if it's judgeable behavior

rubyslippers · 28/10/2025 13:41

The sick days is grim
they’re not a target to reach and his employer may well pick him up on that

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