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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I the crazy one?

40 replies

Morecoffeethanks · 28/10/2025 13:32

My in-laws have a large dog (25kg) the dog has snapped at my two year old DS- he is loud and unpredictable as a lot of two year olds are. My in-laws have other grandchildren ranging up to 8 years old. All the other parents are happy for their children to be around said dog. I have said and DH agrees we don’t go to the in-laws house because the dog has now snapped at our toddler.
The in-laws are acting like we are being over protective and creating problems.
I was even sent a video on dog body language from mother in law on how of a dog snaps it’s a warning and a good thing?!
Am I not being awkward and difficult for no reason am I?

OP posts:
dontbeataboutthebush · 28/10/2025 19:14

if MIL is that worried about seeing you she will happily muzzle the dog while in your child’s company. I had a dog years ago who snapped at my nephew once. He never got that opportunity again, was muzzled every time the kids came to visit.

Plumnora · 28/10/2025 19:14

You are being completely sensible. The fact that the dog is large and has bitten people previously is also a massive red flag.
Ypur in laws sound intense!

Original poster
Morecoffeethanks · 28/10/2025 18:34

@BauhausOfEliott you are absolutely right, I think the dog finds the children very stressful. There are a lot of times father in law is wrestling the older children and the dog is standing over them looking very tense but I feel like I’m the only one who sees this.
Before DS was born we did look after this dog and our calm dog seemed to rub off on him and he would always seem much more relaxed in his presence but it’s just not possible anymore.

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 28/10/2025 14:58

You are being sensible, just ignore them.

BauhausOfEliott · 28/10/2025 14:48

I love dogs and no, of course a toddler shouldn't be around a dog that's previously snapped at him. YANBU at all.

To be honest, as well as being concerned for the toddler and the potential risk of them being bitten, I'd also feel sorry for the dog as it obviously feels stressed/threatened. It's best for both the child and the dog if they're kept apart.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 28/10/2025 14:25

DonewhatIcando · 28/10/2025 14:21

I've got a small terrier type dog, she's an arsehole (I love her but she's an arsehole) snappy and grumpy.
I also have a grandson, 18 months, who lives with a big, placid dog.
I keep dgs and my ddog away from each other to avert any incidents.
100% YANBU
Don't trust any dog around small children.

Ditto, I also have an arsehole terrier. She is NEVER with any child regardless of its age or relationship to me. She's never bitten a person yet, but she is unpredictable. If children are involved, she stays at home.

DonewhatIcando · 28/10/2025 14:21

I've got a small terrier type dog, she's an arsehole (I love her but she's an arsehole) snappy and grumpy.
I also have a grandson, 18 months, who lives with a big, placid dog.
I keep dgs and my ddog away from each other to avert any incidents.
100% YANBU
Don't trust any dog around small children.

Queenchewchew · 28/10/2025 14:04

I love dogs and have a very large (40+kg) dog myself but I wouldn’t let my small children around any dog that has a history of biting

Saz12 · 28/10/2025 13:58

DS is very young still - a 2 year old unlikely to consistently remember dog body / language rules. Sounds like grandparents slipped up in supervising around dog too. I wouldnt have had mine near a snappy/grumpy dog.

Original poster
Morecoffeethanks · 28/10/2025 13:50

I will add we do have a dog. He is generally pretty good with the dog, but not reliable. We have rules, don’t go to the dog if he is in his bed. Don’t take food from the dog, don’t take the dogs toys etc buy the rules require a lot of enforcement still.
Im not sure what caused the snap, it was at our house it happened and I was in the kitchen at the time, both in-laws were present though but didn’t see what happened.
The dog has bitten two adults that I know of also.

OP posts:
HarrietSchulenberg · 28/10/2025 13:50

YANBU. I love dogs but if mine snapped at a family member's toddler he (the dog) would be kept well apart from the child when they visited or I would visit them without the dog. When the child was old enough to understand how to treat dogs, and presumably calmer, we would do some work around training both of them to be safe in each other's company. But for now, the dog and the child would not interact in any way.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 28/10/2025 13:45

Stay away if you wish . But your dc should learn how to behave around ddogs as young as he is. Imo it's a life skill. And can lead to fabulous relationships for your dc. Possibly not with that particular ddog though. Mil's attitude to it would keep me away not the actual ddogs behaviour..

quitefranklyabsurd · 28/10/2025 13:40

do you know what happened to cause the dog to snap?

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 28/10/2025 13:37

Your question is - Should my two year old hang out with an unpredictable dangerous animal? And the answer is no.

Zempy · 28/10/2025 13:36

YANBU

I am a total dog lover, and there is no way any dog would get the opportunity to snap at my toddler twice.

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