Am I the crazy one?

I wouldn’t even think about having my child around that dog. Who cares about being polite to in laws when it could cause harm to your child?
Ridiculous that they are pressuring you about it.

I wouldn't be around this dog as an adult, let alone a young child. He's bitten twice before! He sounds unpredictable ( ok he might bark as a warning but he's an animal we still don't know what they're going to do) and I hate it when dog owners can't see it when the dog has a previous track record!
He's a risk to be around, I wouldn't be able to relax in his company, so there would be no point in arranging meet ups with the dog.
I would also worry that this could make your child very anxious around dogs if he has this experience - yes be aware of them, but some are lovely and friendly and this could plant some fear into him when he sees other dogs.

This ^^

It sounds like your MIL is right in one sense in that the dog is giving a warning bark. Dogs do that before they bite basically. It’s their way of saying I don’t like this situation I’m not happy or comfortable. You don’t say what preceded it.

If the dog was dangerous they wouldn’t bother with a warning is probably what your MIL is saying. However the fact the dog is upset means that if the upset continues they could end up biting. That’s the whole point of the warning. Go away or I might bite/ escalate.

So keep them separate and until your child is old enough for the dog and child to be calmer around each other. You cannot take any risks with a child that young. Or with any child for that matter if the dog is clearly warning you to back off.

You are right not to expose your child to this dog at any time, even when older. The dog is the problem, not your child. If I was GM the dog would be put to sleep as it has shown unreliability towards one child. It will bite someone soon.

I know there will be a lot of MNs saying I am cruel to animals. I am not but a dangerous dog will always be unpredictable.

I think there is a difference between someone who has a snappy dog and takes action to reduce the chances and those who will deny there is a problem and you are waiting for an accident to happen.

My dog, here before my daughter, can be temperamental. I’ve learnt his triggers and he’s never left alone with my daughter. He knows he goes in his crate at times where there is a risk of problems (parcel delivery being one). It takes a lot to manage.

I wouldn’t send my child to a house like your MIL if they weren’t going to take precautions .

Ridiculous! They’re two. The dog shouldn’t be around small children regardless of MIL behaviour.

When we had the most beautiful trustworthy big dog who was so placid, we still wouldn't have let her loose at a kids' party. She would be fine but I wouldn't trust little kids doing anything that could cause her to react just in case. If even the tiniest risk of reacting, which you said this one did, absolutely not. Xxx

Ditto

You’re not at all being difficult, obviously !!!
Your MIL sounds like she needs brain camp !!!

I love dogs but I’d never leave a dog around children without heavy supervision. In my opinion you’re asking far too much of an animal. Plenty of people lose their temper with children and shout etc but were expecting more of a dog!

this dog already has a bite history. If anything untoward were to happen, this is daily mail front page fodder and charges of neglect!

Nope, I’d do the same. My sister has two large dogs, both seem ok but I still don’t let me toddler near them. However one of them (a mastiff) is obsessed with her and will try and lick/play with her a lot, which she hates. We grew up with dogs, so I’ve nothing against them, but just not worth the risk for me

My dog ve just had to have pts was 32 kg and a big softy if she gave a warning snap she would not be near any children full stop the dog is telling them its not happy to ignore the warnings repeatedly is asking for disaster and I would not be putting my precious child in the firing line their life is more important than anyone's feelings

You are not being un-reasonable to want to keep your toddler safe. however not going over all together is extreme, how long do you plan to keep away for? Would not asking the in-laws to shut their dog in a safe place be a more practical solution? We have a space in our home where I can safely shut the baby gate on our dog whenever I am unavailable to keep an eye 100% on the children and dog or when we have visitors.

It’s bitten two adults and snapped at a 2 year old, no, you’re not being sensitive or pedantic. This is absolutely a hill I would be prepared to die on.

Terms would be clear - put the dog out whilst visiting or we do not visit. The dog is not a human, it should not be treated as an equal to a child. They are pack animals and there is a hierarchy. Your in laws are creating a very dangerous situation and then emotionally guilting you into thinking you’re creating a division in the family. They are doing this.

Listen to the number of responsible dog owners in this thread who can see this isn’t a sensible dynamic, nor a safe one.

Yanbu. I have a toddler who is very rambunctious, the dog I share with my ex is very scared around kids and is also about 25kgs. So I never have them together, I only see my dog on my own.

You must put your toddler first, you absolutely have made the right decision. Your in-laws are being ridiculous and very naive.

Dogs are lovely but ultimately predictable, its not fair on the dog or the toddler to have them together.

Your MiL sounds pretty ignorant sadly..Which is annoying for you, but worse for her poor stressed dog 🙁

so the dog shouldn’t be taught either ? Most people never train their dogs because they only see them as an extension of their household instead of giving them proper training. I know of dogs who won’t even twitch an eyelid unless their owner says so . The toddler wasn’t touching the dog so it reacted to the toddler just being a toddler and if it was trained properly it wouldn’t have behaved like that . Clearly they are unable to control their dog , an animal , and think it above their grandchild . I wouldn’t visit again - they can always come to you

She's a Patterdale, so 'arsehole' only skims the surface of the awfulness.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat
Glad it's not just me that has an arsehole terrier 😄

@Morecoffeethanks You’re definitely much better at reading dog behaviour than your in-laws! You sound a million times more sensible and thoughtful than they do about the dog as well as about your child. You’re doing absolutely the right thing.

Too bloody right!!

Just to add - 100% agree with this. Did the dog killing another dog wasn’t enough to keep us away, MIL’s reaction to the incident would have been. Anyone that underplays or explains away behaviour like that can’t be trusted.

My in laws have a large dog that was always ‘boisterous’ that I always disliked, as did my son. One day, we got a frantic phone call at 7am from my MIL, screaming that this dog had savagely attacked and killed one of their other dogs. She refused to have it put down despite being warned, and as a result, DS has not had a sleepover there in four years, and will never again. He’s not even allowed to spend the day there unaccompanied by me or DP, and, if we are there, that dog is locked away.

Do not trust dogs, especially those that give you warning signs, and I say that as someone who’s dog is currently lying on our laps.