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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think a week is too long for visitors

85 replies

princesspadam · 28/10/2025 13:02

My mother is staying for a whole week! We haven’t spent time in the same house for about 10 years as I always stay in a hotel if I visit her (rarely) (not a great relationship as she’s narcissistic and very demanding). She hasn’t been particularly great since she arrived

but we’ve moved and she pretty much demanded a week stay as we now have more space

it’s only Tuesday and she doesn’t go until Friday 😩 and DP thought I was being mean but then admitted he couldn’t live for a week with his mother staying either.

i just feel like I can’t relax, she wants constant attention. Last night I got home from my two jobs at 6.30, cooked dinner, did the ironing, had a shower and went to bed which she was moody about

AIBU that a week is too long for most house guests??? Or maybe just mothers?

OP posts:
ldnmusic87 · 28/10/2025 15:14

Does she have to stay until friday...?

ComfortFoodCafe · 28/10/2025 15:14

My mum does this, once she stayed two weeks!! Over the years Ive slowly cut down her stays, she’s coming soon for 4 days which is way more manageable. But she is a good house guest & happily cleans, cooks & used to help a lot with the dc when they were little.

JSMill · 28/10/2025 15:13

I regularly have my df or ILs stay longer than that and I have long learned that as far as I am concerned, they need to fit around the regular household routine if they want to stay for extended periods of time. I suspect my ILs particularly don’t like my attitude but tough. I already have much more cooking and cleaning to do. I don’t have the energy for ferrying people on day trips or chatting way past my bed time. I work in a school and need to save my energy and patience for the little tiddly peeps there.

Original poster
princesspadam · 28/10/2025 15:12

Oh no she wouldn’t dream of cooking or ironing

OP posts:
TadpolesInPool · 28/10/2025 15:11

Depends. MIL stayed for 4 weeks once (we had moved overseas) and did NOTHING for herself or anyone else. Just followed me around (DH was at work 😡). It was definitely too long and i was tearing my hair out.

My parents then came for 6 weeks. They helped cook every meal, hung the washing out etc. Just whatever needed doing. We all got a bit fed up after about 5 weeks so the next visit they only stayed 4 weeks. But it was lovely spending so much time with them.

BedlingtonFloof · 28/10/2025 15:10

It'd be too much for me, and like a PP said, if I was working and busy all day, she'd help out and make sure I had dinner, etc., when I got home - she wouldn't demand to be waited on.

tootyflooty · 28/10/2025 15:08

Well, if I was your mum and you were out at work all day, I would have done your ironing and had dinner ready for you. I don't understand why some mums are like this. However my MIL is the same, and we would never entertain having her stay with us, fortunately my dh siblings always have that pleasure, as she is a demanding nightmare. I think I've got off lightly. I do feel for you though.

PopcornKitten · 28/10/2025 15:07

A week is too long especially for someone you’d rather wasn’t staying anyway. I find it easier to have guests when they are a) independent and maybe go out a bit if I have to work. B) have a short visit planned and I’m off work.
hubby and I have decided we like our own space too much.

BauhausOfEliott · 28/10/2025 15:01

I wouldn't want anyone staying for a week, let alone someone I didn't have a great relationship with and who had form for being difficult.

My own mum is actually great but I wouldn't want her staying for a week.

needsalotterywin · 28/10/2025 14:54

Definitely wayyyy too long if you are having to stay in "host" mode the whole time...I feel for you YANBU x

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