To think a week is too long for visitors

I used to live abroad and my parents would visit a couple of times a year for a week and I loved it. Never expected them to do any cooking or cleaning as they played with my dc. I do think people at the age of 80 can be very different eg my parents are 82 and df does a lot of volunteering, leads the Remberance parade and plays Santa at the Christmas Fayre whereas my friend's dm is a similar age and is housebound and needs a lot of care.

I feel your pain.
We have visitors from abroad who totally outstay their welcome. Each time they threaten to travel for a couple of nights- there is so much to see in Scotland- which would break the overwhelmingness of it, and each time they don’t. Last time they were saying at the end that it must be difficult to have visitors for so long and I just stayed silent. They have little perception of how to be good guests and have not offered to replenish any food stuff or do any shopping ( they have a car).
Thing is I love my cousin but her DH is a dick and by the end of it - well actually by Day3-4 - I just want them both gone and never to see them again.

I live the other side of the country from my parents so when they visit it's planes trains and automobiles and they will stay a week. As we only see each other 3/4 times a year I'm grateful for that time as are the children.
When we go to them sometimes we stay 10 days and their house is smaller than ours - I'd like to think they weren't counting the days until we leave

I think you are very patient.
I can't bear having house guests.
We have 1 woman, old friend of dp, who very occasionally meets him up town, stays over and goes back up north early next morning.
I've never met her.
Ideal house guest!

I think an hour is too long for visitors.

'Visitors are like fish, they smell after 3 days'
Wise old words, timeless advice.
In the case if my ILs edit to 3 hours

It's impossible to entertain for a full week while working and living normal life.

Depends on the guest. I've had my brother and my MIL visit for several weeks (at different times) and they are both a delight to have in the house. Good company, helpful with housework, happy to have some alone time. My Mum is also good company and helpful but tends to be judgemental and opinionated about how I do things (e.g. she disapproves of DH cooking) so a shorter visit of up to a week is better. My BIL and SIL are not helpful, want constant attention and are very opinionated so, e.g. BIL changes the radio station when I'm listening to it to something he prefers and will interrupt someone else's story to tell his story. So 4 hours is too much time with him. Thankfully he shows very little inclination to visit us.

What I wouldn't give for my Mum to spend a week with me. Sadly she passed away a few years back, but we loved each other's company, my husband loved her too.
I suppose it depends on the relationship you have with that person.

Don’t have her back

I’m sorry mum this just doesn’t work for us and our routine,
perhaps you’d be better in a hotel

just don’t invite her

I'm not saying a week isn't too long for you but I wouldn't be going to bed at 8:30 when we had any kind of guests unless I was unwell. It is quite rude especially when you're not off work for the visit.

I should also say they are also really good company and i happily spend social time with them even if my partner isn't around

It really depends on the guest. 3h is more than long enough for my parents!
My mum stayed overnight for 3 days going home during the day when I was having my son and even though I was only there for the first night it was way too long. Thankfully they only live in the next town.

I would happily have my in-laws move in however! They regularly stay for 5+ days, the longest they have stayed is 2 weeks They have done 5 days three times in the last 7 weeks since my son was born and did 2 weeks in August. We have stayed with them for 2 weeks at a time too. They look after us, do all the jobs that we don't have time for. They are currently weeding my garden and clearing up all the dropped leaves.
Help to my parents however involves following me around watching me cook and just as I have finished the prep and have got to the point I can sit down they ask if there is anything they can do to help

My mum will batch cook and stock up my freezer for months, the kids are sorted with food. She will sit and spend time with them, wants to have their friends over. I become a child again when she’s around 🤣 Dh loves it as well, as she really gives us a break. It’s the only time we go out without the kids as I know she will take care of them like I do.

Sounds like she is a really awful mother and GM. what’s the purpose of her even visiting. I can’t imagine my DM doing this at all. When my DM visits she insists on doing all the cooking which we absolutely are spoilt with. She will also offer to do school runs etc. she will muck in and do whatever is needed around the house even though we constantly tell her don’t bother as we have a cleaner. She’s a proper mother.
We spoil her as well and just love having her over.

I really feel sorry for people like you op who got the short end.

Yes, observe the Three Day Rule! (in future)

It is too long, especially if you don't get any downtime after work!

I've just had my mother to stay for a week, for the first time since I've moved here. I took time off work, as I didn't think that I could cope with work + running the house + a full-time guest. We get on well, and I enjoy spending time together, but I do need time to myself! Then it was back in work for a two-day course (plus normal work afterwards), and now what feels like a very long stretch in work!

Do you, your partner and all of your children have separate bedrooms? Could you install an office/playroom/a room of requirements in the spare room, even if you don't need one?

So, yes, a week is too long for house guests!

I'm so sorry you have a mum like this, mine also has Narcky traits.... A week is definitely too long, shame she couldn't have made dinner for you, then you might have been able to sit and catch up.

Another one here seconding the 'guests are like fish ' comment. After the year DH's mum and sister came for Xmas on Xmas Eve and dropped into conversation that they were intending staying until New Year - they were unceremoniously ushered out the door the day after Boxing Day as both DH and I had to go back to work - I put my foot down and said we were not hosting anyone for more than 2 days.

Guests are like fish - they go off after 3 days.
I couldn't stay with anyone for longer than that!

YANBU. 5 minutes and I've had enough of my parents.

Two hours is enough for me. I’m not sorry 🤣