To not want to socialise every time with a bloody dog?

Am I the only one who thinks that it's the 'Queen Bee' and not the dog who is the real target of OP's ire?

It’s fine to organise non- dog meet ups but I think you do need to invite her and let her make up her own mind whether she wants to/ can attend or not. Part of the decision when getting a dog is what will you do if you can’t take a dog to work/ friends/ event and are you willing to miss out? You will just need to be prepared to say no if she asks for it to be altered to be dog friendly. Perhaps now we are going into winter it is a good time to try this as no one will want to sit outside at cafe/ pub so that is an easy request to shut down reasonably

This..honestly enough already..Someone else needs to organise the event and she can like it or not..she's not that devoted a friend really..she's very controlling it would seem..

The theatre or the cinema is a really good call as a first suggestion - because you obviously can’t bring a dog and there’s no sly way of changing plans to squeeze it in somehow. Obviously, you will probably also need a babysitter, but it’s a good way to shift the dynamic in the first instance and sets a precedent that you can do things that don’t involve a dog, even if it means she doesn’t come.

Are there other toddlers? I have to say I’d rather not be obliged to go to a dog/toddler friendly venue all the time! Shocker: I don’t really like other dogs or other people’s toddlers.

It sounds like you need to start mixing things up a bit. In my friendship groups some have dogs, some have younger kids, elderly parents they care for, etc. We just do a variety of things and people come to the ones that work for them. For example, one friend with dog wants to come to non-dog friendly restaurant, we pick one near her house to reduce the time she's out, etc. I think if several people start making suggestions and doing the organising you could change the dynamic.

Every single meet shouldn't revolve around where the dog can go. This limits where you can go and what you can go. Just like I wouldn't want every meet up to revolve around toddlers (even if I had one)

Why would you say “ bloody “ toddler ? Why are you even on “mums” net
silly comment

True but I feel if the dog was badly behaved that would have been mentioned!

Friendships work both ways - she should consider that you don’t want every meet up centred around her dog either for those of you saying OP is being mean
. I’m not a big dog fan either although I don’t mind them . A quick message “ hey hun sorry I prefer to so some activities that doesn’t involve the dog areas- I don’t mind the dog but not every time please” then she’ll get message and if she doesn’t organise your own meet ups without dogs .

Where do you live that dogs aren’t allowed in pubs? According to the Mumsnet dog haters no such venue exists.

Why? Many people don’t like kids just a many people don’t like dogs.

Never known a park to be full of dog sh*t 100% exaggeration … if not, where on earth does the OP live?!? 😬
And yes, agree, most pubs are dog friendly … they rely on passing trade.

Yes, you could do … and then she can organise child free meet ups so she doesn’t have to socialise with your bloody toddler or sit in the kid bit of the park and listen to them all screaming and running about.

Exactly, I think the OP is being over dramatic when talking about shivering outside

It does kind of depend on the dog, doesn’t it?

If it’s a well-trained dog that just sits under the table then I agree with you. If it’s a feral nightmare then I think it’s reasonable to want to exclude the dog.

I would just find things to do which are both child and dog friendly. If you specifically want to do something which isn’t dog friendly like the theatre then invite her and it’s ok if she decides not to make it. There are lots of things which are child and dog friendly, most of the parents I know also have dogs. It’s totally reasonable to want to do things that aren’t dog friendly but I do think it’s a bit unreasonable to want to do something just to exclude the dog.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a pub that doesn’t allow dogs! Can’t you just pick a pub that allows dogs?

I'd choose my dog over my friends any day.

I'm sure your friend would get over it if you started organising your own dog free events.

Exactly, dogs are part of the family

Calling a friend’s pet ‘a bloody dog’ is so rude!

This is so rude! Putting a honking dog on the same level as someone’s child?!

I wouldn’t frame it as organising something without her and directly excluding her.

Just say who wants to come to dinner At restaurant X/ theatre/ cinema on Y date?

If she says she can’t because of dog, you accept that and meet whoever is available.

If she says can we do ABC instead because of dog, you just say you are going ahead with your plans and look forward to seeing her soon.

My DH old sch friend (50 but lives at home with his elderly parents still) got a dog in lockdown and it's NEVER been left alone at home ever in the last 5 years. I personally think it's crazy. I adore animals and currently have cats and used to be a veterinary nurse but I think some dog owners are loopy and need to establish proper routine and structure for their dogs -& that involves training them to be left for up to 4 hours alone etc.