To not want to socialise every time with a bloody dog?

Arrange separate meet ups. Start arranging things and if she steers things another way be honest. If the group still go her way you may have to opt out. What do others in the group think? It would annoy me.

It's a shame. My best friend got this snorting little lab experiment that really mars going to visit her. It sits in a corner making horrible noises, you're just listening to the poor thing suffer to breathe. I find it upsetting and annoying.

It jumps at you, bites your toes, licks you, steals your stuff, hurts you! and is just all round miserable to be in the company of. Instead of having a normal conversation with my friend, every now and then her speech is interjected suddenly with FIDO! GET DOWN! Which can make you jump sometimes as it's out of nowhere.

I know dogs should be well trained but these poor creatures can't really be trained as they are mentally backwards by design.

I love my friend so still went but sometimes it was really, really tough.

What a horrible stereotype. You know nothing of her situation .

How do the other friends in the group feel . If they are ok id suck it up or not go . If they are equally as frustrated I’d suggest you do some dog free events and it’s up to this woman to come alone or not as the case may be . I socialise a lot with friends but have 2 dogs who are fine on their own . If I’m out for a whole day or weekend they go to their sitter .

Ah…..the old “coming from a good place”
it’s control disguised as kindness OP. It means you’re less likely to call someone out on their behaviour because they’re only being kind…..bollocks.
This sort of thing drives me nuts.

In my park dogs are allowed everywhere and I don’t know of one pub that would make them sit outside. Where on earth do you live?

A bit like how women often do with motherhood when they have kids then?

Let me guess, this woman is single and has no kids? So typical of these types, gets a pet and makes that their identity.

To be fair my kids are quite honky too 😬

As a dog owner there is absolutely no way I would sit in a dog park whilst eating surrounded by poop and dogs sniffing my food. Is there a reason she can’t leave the dog alone for a few hours?

You need to talk to honestly. People will hate on you for not loving dogs but just like everyone doesn’t love spiders it’s completely fine and normal! I have a dog but I don’t take everywhere as he wouldn’t be comfortable and settled at a picnic for example. I also have a toddler and would be unhappy in your situation. I have friends with dogs and we do dog walks / parks with the kids aswell but other friends who do not that we do not. You are most definitely not being unreasonable but you do need to communicate.

Do you all insist your kids socialise with you all the time?

Just arrange it and stick to your guns, or when she arranges a dog friendly thing just say you aren't available/don't fancy it this time. I wouldn't kick up a fuss, just gently create some dog free opportunities. To be fair to her, she clearly adores her dog and if she arranged everything she is clearly arranging it around her needs. You could initially try an evening, winter thing, and go with "I really fancy some cocktails out, I can get a babysitter can xyz other people and friend can you get a dog sitter if you need one? Then we can have an adults only night out". I can kind of see her point if she arranges a picnic in the park, and she wants to bring her dog, it's a bit churlish to ban him. However, sitting outside a pub in midwinter freezing your tits off because of a dog is totally nutty.

YANBU. I’m a dog owner and lover - doesn’t mean I want to be around them 24/7!

One of my closest friends got a puppy last year and ever since her life has quite literally revolved around him. She won’t leave the bloody thing alone (not even for an hour!) and then wonders why he has separation anxiety..! No outing is complete without him being there and he goes wherever she goes. If we go out for a meal/drink/coffee he is there and the entire thing must be focused on making a fuss of him, talking about how he’s doing etc. She even has a social media page for him.

In the end I was honest with her and kindly told her that I really don’t care that much! She was offended and it was the end of an otherwise good friendship but I had grown absolutely exhausted and bored of the dog obsession. Like children, your own are interesting.. anyone else’s, not so much!

Dog friendly restaurants do exist. Granted, they aren't that common, but not impossible.

Plus some pubs are more like restaurants anyway at the top end. No need to compromise on quality for the presence of dogs or kids

Let her get the hump. So what?

Well, yes, you compromise and dine in a nice dog friendly pub, rather than excluding someone to dine in a non dog friendly restaurant. Because generally people hold the presence of their friends in higher regard than which venue they eat in, and wouldn't choose somewhere that excludes someone.

Dinner at a restaurant though? I've never been to one that lets dogs in? Only pub meals surely?

Nope, dog is a dog and treated as such.

It was to make a point about bloody dog 🙄

OP, if she's single, and has a dog that can't be left, then obviously she's only going to arrange dog friendly meetups, as those will be the only ones she will be able to attend. You're not really expecting her to be doing all the legwork and make arrangements for events for the group that she, herself, cannot attend are you?

If you want to arrange things that inherently aren't dog (and likely toddler) friendly, like the cinema or the theatre, then you make those arrangements, but know that she won't be able to attend, so you are excluding her.

But if its a case of a dog friendly pub dinner or a dinner at a restaurant which isn't dog friendly, then surely a decent person would be happy to compromise and go to somewhere dogs are allowed rather than deliberately excluding a friend. (The same goes for toddler friendly for singles that don't have readily accessible child care options).

If you deliberately just want to knowingly exclude your friend and make things difficult for the sake of a dog free venue when a similar dog friendly one is available, then frankly, you're just not a good friend or a nice person (same goes for someone deliberately picking an adults only restaurant for lunch when they know that someone has a child and no childcare).

I'm a bit confused by this thread. It's easy enough to find pubs that serve food that accommodate both well behaved dogs and toddlers. Also, most parks surely allow dogs in the majority of the park (excluding kids play areas), some will specify on lead (ie NT or similar) and I think that is the compromise I'd make as dogs so tend to attract other dogs.

Obviously you can make your own plans with people to go wherever you want and not everyone has to go to everything. But you sound a bit like you don't like her. If the dog can't be left alone then they come as a pair, and you should consider that if you do like her and at least sometimes suggest places the dog will be welcome.

Just start organising meet ups in places you want to go to. If she tries to steer it to somewhere else, just push back; “Actually Caroline I really want to go to Betty’s Tea Room because I’ve heard the treacle tart is incredible. We can do Fido Friendly Fred’s Diner next time”

If she huffs she huffs. If she says she can’t come, just say a breezy see you next time. If everyone decamps to where she wants to go, you know where you stand - capitulate and suck up the dog dates to keep in with your friend group, or find new friends.

This! I guarantee that poster also cradles her dog to sleep like my insufferable MIL