AIBU to be upset that dd12 didn’t go on any rides at Alton Towers

I mean if it caused an issue then her friends might not invite her next time. I don't think friends necessarily need to do everything together.

Agree with some PP that with the price of theme parks that's a lot of money to pay to wander about not going on rides though. I wouldn't be forking out for that again.

I hate rides, even the tamer ones. If there was a group of them why would it cause issues for anyone else if she just watched? I get that you might think it was a waste of money but she probably didn’t want to miss out on a day out with her friends. Better than her giving in to pressure to do something she wouldn’t enjoy. Personally I’d pay not to go on them.

I think you need to work out why you’ve got an issue. Is it the cost, did she freak out and spoil it for others, do you want her to like them?

If she was happy and her friends were ok with her being the bag lady then just chalk it up to experience. If she caused issues then again there is a learning point. One of my children hates rides, the other loves them. I’m in the hate camp myself as I feel very sick on them. Alton towers would be a waste for my ride hater.

Presumably at 12, you paid for her?

YANBU. That’s a lot of money for you to pay for her to go and stand around.

I'm the person who looks after bags!

Did DD moan that no-one did anything with her, or did friends feel awkward that she didn't join in

I remember the adverts for Alton Towers ahead of its opening - I was about 9 and desperate to go, not for the rides but because the gardens looked so lovely (I was born to be a retired lady 😂). All kids don't like the same things.

I hate scary rides/rollercoasters but will go on the tame baby rides 😂 were there no tame rides that she could have gone on?

My daughter on the other hand is obsessed with rollercoasters and goes to Thorpe Park every Halloween, which actually has no tame rides whatsoever, so my idea of hell.

I don't go on rides so arrange to meet my family in one spot when they're done. They're grateful I can look after bags/glasses/keys/phones/jackets! I do miss a large chunk of time when they're queuing, but just grab a drink before I settle in that spot!

What issue did she create? Were you there or was it what she told you when you got home? What business is it of yours anyway?

I love theme parks, but never go on any rides. Love, love, love watching them (and happy to look after bags, so i’m usually popular ).
No need to feel sorry, and i have no problems paying the entry fee!

Why do you feel she has to enjoy things that you think she should enjoy, rather than knowing her own mind and what she likes?

Who says anyone has to like rides?

My friends used to love it cos I’d look after their coats and bags! I still loved going to theme parks for the atmosphere, some very tame rides, arcades, gift shops, food places etc - just rides were never for me.

Neither of my kids enjoy them park rides. They enjoy going with friends and hanging out with them though. One of mine is going later this week. I know he won't go on any rides. He will still have a great day out with his mates. It has never occurred to me to be upset.

Is this because you think it is a waste of money?

Has anyone else said she caused issues? My youngest friendship group contained mixed SEN and they didn't mind someone not fully joining in. She would have been a useful bag minder. It's up to them. My DD used to have very restricted eating, luckily her friends didn't mind. Leave them to it.

Surely they went at this time partly for Scarefest? So she went to see all the decorations, maybe do the walkthroughs, hang out etc.

So long as she wasn't moaning that they kept leaving her to queue for rides

We went the other day and one girl with us only went on one ride, obviously we're older so she also just went off shopping and to the aquarium and stuff alone whilst we were in a longer queue but it worked and she wanted to come hang out with us

Did it cause an issue with her friends because they felt guilty going on rides and enjoying their time on it (without her)? Or did dd complain that she waited alone.

It was a waste of money for her to do this but FOMO is very real in this day of social media plus the uncertainty feelings of growing up.

I went when I was 13 and just about went on the pirate ship, the enterprise and the water rides. My mate had to go on other things on her own. I was an only child and never really fancied fast rides and didn't know how I'd feel about it until I got there. Was fucking terrified as it happens. We did have fun generally though.

As I got older, in my late teens and 20s I did go on almost everything and have with my kids, particularly with DD2 who is a rollercoaster fiend, but it's not my choice of day out I have to say. Glad DDs can go with their mates now.

What was the issue that was created? Surely she could have become chief bag holder and still enjoyed fun waving to her friends on the ride.

What was the expectation beforehand? Did you know she didn't like rides and was only going as her friends were? If so I would have had a conversation about the cost of it and perhaps organising to do something else with friends another time. If she just backed out on the day once she saw some of the rides that's different and ok.
Was there anything she did enjoy? The decorations for Halloween? Any of the smaller rides?

Did she not even go on any of the less aggressive/fast ones?
Clearly she didn't want to be left out of the day and I get that. Not everyone enjoys rides. If she had a good day I'd not be overly bothered.

Rides aren’t for everyone, my husband hates them and always has, that’s totally fine.

What isn’t fine is attending something she knows she won’t enjoy and then spoiling it for her friends who DO enjoy it, assuming thats what you mean by “caused issues” for her friends.

I’d just go with it’s totally fine to not enjoy it, so just don’t go and see friends at others times. They can’t be at Alton Towers every day.

Someone has to look after the bags …

I don't think there's any issues. She's still allowed to go and hang about with her friends even if she doesn't go on any rides. She's not going to get anything out of being forced to go on them, so what if she's scared? It's fine.

I think in future she needs to not go if she is going to not want the same rides as everyone else. Rides aren't for everyone.

It’s fine not liking rides, but she probably shouldn’t have bothered going.

I’d be more upset that you (or whoever paid for the ticket) forked out ££s for a kid to go to a theme park and do fuck-all.

If she hates rides, fine. But to go to a theme park while hating rides is daft.

You mention that it ‘caused an issue’ with her friends. Did they have to keep making sure someone stayed on the ground with her? Did she make a fuss about being scared or moan about being left out?