Dd s boyfriend wants a pre nup .

His money is his top priority.
Have they talked about what would happen if either of them lost their job or couldn't work? Would he be happy to support her and would he expect her to support him?

We have a pre-nup.

DH came into the marriage with much more than me, and with a career plan that involved working really hard in a miserable job for a while in order to get to the very well paid jobs (whereas my plan was always to coast along enjoying my free time).

It always made sense to me that he would want to protect those assets - half of all marriages end in divorce, it’s just sensible to think in advance about that possibility.

Also his parents had an extremely acrimonious divorce - entirely about financial issues not custody - and he wanted to make sure that if we ever did divorce we would be able to do it reasonably amicably because we would have already made the hard financial decisions at a time when we were in love and feeling kind to one another rather than leaving it to resolve at a horrible time.

Pre-nups are persuasive in English law, so a judge can choose to ignore it completely if they think it’s unfair, but will usually pay attention to what the parties agreed at the beginning. But if - for example- they marry and she then spends 20 years as a SAHM to their kids then the judge is likely to ignore the pre-nup entirely, it’s more about how you fairly divide assets after relatively short and child free marriages where nobody has made career sacrifices.

I think it's reasonable for him to protect his pre martial assets.
But from the point of marriage onwards their time and effort needs to be considered equal going forwards and what he earns and what she earns becomes marital funds, towards living expenses, luxury's, pensions and savings.
If he considers his time more valuable because he is in a profession that pays more, or he considers that he had more authority and control of spending decisions because he earns more, then your DD needs to seriously reconsider her future with him.

You are completely wrong. Prenups are valid if certain conditions are met. I think it's sensible. DD's boyfriend should get a good solicitor to write a sensible prenup and follow all the requirements to make the prenup legally enforceable.

I agree with those that say that she just needs her own good legal advice, and the prenup needs to take into account the future and any children etc.

If my daughter earned what the bf earns and was putting that amount of money in, I’d tell her to get a prenup too.

It’s savvy to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

I’d have your daughter seek legal advice though to make sure the prenup protects her should she have children and take time off work.

I think that prenups should protect prior wealth and should reduce in ‘protection’ over time.

If you don’t want to blend your life and resources post marriage then you shouldn’t get married.

In this instance then I don’t agree with it really. DH’s parents gave him (us) our deposit so we protected that and the rest we owned equally.

20 years later it’s irrelevant and we’re joint tenants now.

It’s not your business, they’re adults. It’s a sensible thing for him to do. She needs to ensure she’ll be adequately supported if they have children.

Not a prenup but when DD and her partner bought a house she put in 90% of the deposit and it was protected so if they split up their relative contributions were reflected in the division of assets. I thought that was sensible and I think most people would have advised her to do it

It is relatively normal to ringfence how much each person pays towards the deposit I think - so his 70% is ringfenced and her 30%.

As for the rest, I would advise your daughter to get her own solicitor when the time comes and not share one with him.

Other than the mortgage deposit has he got other assets he's trying to protect or is he trying to ring fence 70% of all assets in the marriage if they divorce?

Prenups aren’t worth much in UK anyway, he’s been watching too many American courtroom dramas, but yes there are ways to protect certain assets accumulated before marriage.

I’m in a long distance relationship with DP so it doesn’t affect us at present but when we do marry I’m 100 percent comfortable with him ringfencing his contribution to our shared home. He has no issue with me doing the same and by then I may well have more cash than him (he’s currently got more assets but I’m the higher earner).

Admittedly kids would put a slant on things or having to take career breaks etc but that’s not a consideration for us. I think it’s sensible to protect what you can. Life isn’t a fairytale.

Would you feel this way if the roles were reversed OP and your daughter was a higher earner?

Pre-nup os a scary concept for some, but it's not much of a discussion without the contents of the agreement.

If we break up 3 months post-nuptials...

If we add some kids and a couple of years...

It's difficult to know if it's reasonable or not, based on the fact we have no idea what is being negotiated.

In some ways it's sensible - for the house for instance but then it also needs to reflect potential marriage and children.

My DH and I had a legal agreement drawn up when we bought our house which reflected the deposit split before marriage and after. He put in considerably more deposit then I did. The claus was in regard to deposit value back then anything ontop split 50/50.

I suggest your DD sort out a solicitor but also speak to him honestly about pre marriage, post marriage and post children. I would also highlight some articles to her regarding women's careers/salaries taking a hit with children therefore she needs open discussion with her bf and that to be written in.

It's too simplistic to simply have a 70/30 prenuptial. The legally binding aspect of it depends on where in the country you are - in Scotland they are if considered fair.

She should be able to discuss this with him, after all he’s the one who started the discussion. If she goes on maternity leave - is he willing to pay into her pension while she’s off for example.
If she goes part time - losing wages and pension contributions- to look after the children is he willing to make the pension contributions then? And pay into a savings account in her name?

This isn’t your battle or issue to get involved in.

How would you feel if your daughter was the one to potentially lose everything if a relationship went wrong?

Pre nups are taken into consideration in a divorce and remember, they are usually made when a couple is in love and being generous to one another. There is no automatic assumption of 50/50 if they were to divorce in the future anyway. However, I would recommend your DD ensures any time off work or detriment to her income if she has children is taken into account.

Very sensible of him. Anyone with any assets is entitled to protect them.

I am sure his larger deposit can be protected legally, as for the rest.... Do they do equally re their accommodation and 'life admin'?
What will happen if they have children? Will your DD have to stop working? Will her non financial contribution be considered? I think I would ask if things like this have been considered.

This is the crux. Protecting assets pre marriage is one thing, but how they work finances they have post marriage is inportant .

I thought it was going to be old family money or something … I can see why she found it odd at first. Prenups aren’t really a thing in the U.K. but they can get legal papers drawn up for him to protect his assets, and her her deposit BUT what happens when kids come along? If that going to be written in somewhere?
She needs a good wealth mge lawyer for this one. Is he going to be tight and controlling around money in the relationship though?
Is it going to be - he has lots of hobby money and she’s paying half the bills but has little left over?
It’s a tricky one. I’m not sure I’d marry like this - presuming they are both young and have a life to build together.

Hes very sensible. Why shouldn’t he protect himself?

I presume if she was paying 70% and him 30% and she had more money overall you would still think is should all be fair and equal?

She needs her own legal advice but as others have mentioned prenups are not legal in uk

Very sensible to protect pre-marriage assets and I would do the same. However, they also need to discuss how they will contribute to finances once they are married so it's fair, especially if they are considering children.