WWYD more that AIBU? He slapped me

Where's the eye roll emoji when you need it?!

They both sound immature. This was a silly game where someone got hurt. As I said several times since, if this is something that has happened before and he has become angry at other times, then yes, people are fair in commenting about abuse, but since the OP has not returned there is every possibility they are one as bad as the other and the reverse has happened on other occasions where their jokes on each other have not been funny.

I think it is worth noting the comment from someone else about what if the child had done this. Playing jokes on each other is not setting a good example. The OP has mentioned the partner is tired lately, so maybe more snappy.
Would you really want to play a prank on someone knowing they haven't been on top form lately? Also as others have said, if you are walking in eggshells you do everything to avoid conflict. You don't poke the bear (or husband) in this case. Surely if this was an ongoing fear and OP genuinely is scared of her husband then she would be doing all she can go maintain calm, not get into situations that could trigger him. That is what people are ignoring.

Perhaps it is you that has some difficulty with my response. "OTT" isn't the problem here, nor is instinctive reflex. It is violence.

He's apologising to the children for upsetting them, but not mentioning the fact that he assaulted their mother.
He is showing his boys that women are subordinates who can be chastised on a whim by a man and the man doesn't even have to apologize or acknowledge what he's done.

The first time someone hits you is the hardest... for them. They don't know how you will react. After that it gets easier and easier for them to do it.

I think you know what you want to and need to do. Sending lots of strength your way.

I swear people cannot read what I’ve actually said

You are saying domestic abuse is ok ?!!!!

Ffs, so many posters on this thread so fucking unable to read and/or desperate to excuse a violent man. The slap wasn't a fight or flight response. We know that because he did a lot of other things before he slapped her shoulder.

I never understand why some couples try to annoy each other. Especially to get a laugh from a toddler. Me and dh annoy each other enough without trying to. Why behave like that?

But no he should not have hit you at all. Would he hit the child if he did it, since you are both teaching your children to annoy people like this. Which again is ridiculous.

Oh look, Andrew Tate is on the thread.

You need to say we need to talk, and say to him when I put my finger on your nose this morning, it’s the kind of thing you do to me all the time to make our kids laugh. Do not ever do anything like it to me again after the way you reacted this morning. I certainly won’t be touching you like that again after you hit me and swore this morning. If you ever hit me again, I will call the police. You didn’t even apologise to me, so look at me and know I mean every word. Our child saw you hit me, I hope you meant every word of your apology to them but you have not apologised to me. If you ever hit me again I WILL call the police on you.

This exact thing happened in my marriage, my husband did this to me when I was dozing, thinking it was funny, and I leapt up and hit him in the face. Never did it again. I felt attacked in that moment. I'm not sure that's what's happening here, but when you poke people, they may react. My husband told me never to hit him again and I told him never to poke his finger in my nose 'for a joke' when I was sleeping/dozing, and that was that, but it is somehow disconcerting and intrusive to have this done to you, his reaction was over the top and I think you will have to read it in the context of the whole relationship and whether he is ever 'handsy' or aggressive apart from this- if he is, it takes on a whole different complexion.

Poster said 'Next time don't be so silly' - how is that down to earth, come on!!

So he does these kind of pranks on you too? It was a shitty thing to do, but his reaction was way over the line.

What kind of things has he done to you?

I massively hate pranks, so I'd not be happy in the kind of relationship where they happen often. I accept others feel differently, but surely there needs to be underlining respect and accepted boundaries.

No no no...being irritating isn't an excuse for hitting someone, swearing and storming off is also a problem. If you take the blame for this you'll be walking on egg shells for the rest of your life with an increasing list of reasons why it's your fault he hit you - he's stressed, he's tired, you're nagging, you exist...

Has he been like this ever before? If it's really out of character for someone you've been with a long time perhaps he was fast asleep and it gave him a real fright.

I've had sleep paralysis then woke up suddenly shouting and lashing out in fear and it can happen when dozing in the morning. Also happens more when stressed and tired.

@Overthewaytwice Wow, the amount embellishments to OP's post to justify violence is amazing. From "sticking finger up nose" (she didn't) to now "covered nostrils" (where did she say that? The only instinctive reflex many posters have on this thread seems to be to blame the woman for domestic violence at all costs.

How much provocation justifies violence?

Some real fucking apologists on here.

First time it’s always a slap.

I wasn't quoting you. Several posters had said they would potentially lash out as a reflex.

She said nostril, not nostrils. You’ve double what she said.

OP you have a lot of things to sort out if swearing at you or your kids in anger and slapping in anger is happening. In front of your kids.

It will damage you. It will damage your kids and also their future relationships.

It is not normal or acceptable.

You’re both idiots.

For a start teaching your child touching someone’s face when their eyes are shut is “funny” is highly inappropriate.

His reaction tells you why. The slap may have been fight or flight. Not great but your OP doesn’t give enough info for me to decide.

However it is NEVER ok to cover a breathing outlet of somebody - especially if they have their eyes closed. It’s never ok to touch someone intrusively if their eyes are closed and they can’t consent.

If it’s a game you both play you both need to stop now.

Have I? Where?

You have exaggerated what the OP said.

Some people might say that. In fact, DH could have said that at the time (if OP had done that which she didn't).
The concern is not just how he reacted in the moment, it's how he continued to react for a while afterwards.

Usually I'd immediately say there's no excuse for aggressive behaviour or violence... but without being there I honestly don't know what to think in this case.

If I were relaxed with my eyes closed in bed and someone covered my nostrils, I could imagine having a pure panic response and lashing out. It's a weird and really invasive thing to do (I'm not shouty and have never hit anyone in my life).

I think it hinges on how out of character this is for him?