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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU To not want worker to just walk into my house.

62 replies

Maxsmum255 · 28/10/2025 01:16

Hello, First time poster so I apologise in advance for any mistakes, I wasn't sure what to title this so I hope its ok.

A bit of back story I am disabled and mostly bed bound, I have a hospital bed in my home that was provided for me by my occupational therapist which I truely appreaciate as I wouldn't be able to afford it by myself and I would end up with pressure sore if I was in a normal bed.

This leads to today when the company that provides the beds and services them wanted to come out and service the bed, Unfortunately my sister who takes care of me and anwsers the door and things like that was out as she had to go to an appointment, so it just wasn't an option to have the worker come today plus they said they would call before they were coming so we could cancel or not but there was no call.

It was 10.30am this morning and I heard a knock at the door but as I am unable to answer the door myself I just had to ignore it, my mum who lives across the road from me called as she saw the worker at my door, I told my mum that I wasn't available to have the worker come in my house. My mum told the worker this and he got rude and said that he wouldn't be leaving without getting into my house.

For some context I live in a small cul de sac that has alot of disabled and elderly people who live here and have carers who come in everyday and as they are also bed bound the carers tend to just walk right in their houses as some have keys and others just have the doors unlocked, Thankfully my sister takes care of me so I don't need carers to come in. The worker told my mum that he would just wait for my carers to come and he would go in with them. My mum told him that I don't have carers and he said that as he travelled 40 miles to service my bed he would just walk into my house and do it anyway.

I was scared at this point as I suffer from bad anxiety and I knew that my sister had forgot to lock the front door(she usually always locks it but was in a rush this morning and forgot). So I knew he could just walk in if he tried so I was just shaking stuck in my bed and I heard him outside shouting at my mum and knocking on my windows and door. He told her that he wouldn't be leaving until he got in my house one way or another. He was outside for 30 minutes just sitting in his van, my mum then rung me to let me know that he had moved on to some other peoples houses to do their services even though he told my mum that he had come all this way just to do my bed and I was costing him money. He also threatened to come and remove my bed as he said it will fail insurance if he doesn't see it today. even though I have had this bed for about 2 years and they were supposed to service it in July but they never came.

I was upset for until my sister got back home about an hour later and I could finally relax as I knew he was gone. I am terrified of him coming back and just walking in my house tomorrow or another day. My sister is furious and tried to call the company but couldn't get through today so she will try again tomorrow. His attitude was really scary as he goes into vulerable peoples homes and seems to think he can do what he wants.

AIBU - Should I have just let him walk in even though I was still just in my nightie and waiting for my sister to help dress me, plus in order for him to service the bed my sister would have to help transfer me to my wheelchair.

Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
Andthatrightsoon · 28/10/2025 08:17

How strange. If there had been a house fire would you have waited for your sister or made a different choice?

Summerlilly · 28/10/2025 08:13

He was a jerk for sure, but I feel like this is one of those situations where everyone is at fault and has a part to play here.
Your sister shouldn’t have waited for a phone call to cancel, that’s wasting everyone’s time a simple phone call days ago could of avoided this.

Im unsure why no one called the company or even your sister to say “Hey one of the workers is outside to service the bed but no one is available for that”

Hopefully your sister puts in a formal complaint for his attitude and he won’t be back personally to service the bed.

firstofallimadelight · 28/10/2025 07:04

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/10/2025 01:35

If your mum was about /lives across the road and saw and spoke to the man why didn’t she come in with him

the bed needed a service or whatever he was doing. And someone was about to let him in /be with you

sounds you were a little difficult if he has travelled to you so I get why he was annoyed /frustrated

your mum could have helped you dress or put a cardi /dressing gown on over your nightie and helped you to your chair /wheelchair

How do you know she could? I’d assume if it was as simple as mum doing it that’s what would have happened

magicalmadmadamim · 28/10/2025 07:03

this is tricky as if it is true that he has travelled that far just to do your bed i can kind of understand his frustration.
however you are obviously very vulnerable.
Could your mum not have come over and let him in?
Have you adressed your anxiety?
it does seem a bit silly that all he had to do was open the door and deal with what he had to do.
what would you do if your sister couldnt look after you and you had to have carers coming in?
sorry to sound a bit mean but i think this is something that you need to get over.

FrogsWormsandButterflies · 28/10/2025 07:03

It’s equally rude to let him come to a job knowing it would be a waste of time.
Why couldn’t your mum come over and help?

vivainsomnia · 28/10/2025 06:58

so it just wasn't an option to have the worker come today plus they said they would call before they were coming so we could cancel or not but there was no call
Why didn't you ortour sister called to reschedule the appointment for another day? He was rude and unprofessional but I don't understand why you thought it was OK to let him come knowing you'd just tell him to go away. Not clear why your mum wasn't able to help either.

tragichero · 28/10/2025 02:09

Sorry this happened. He sounds very unreasonable. He ought to phone ahead to check it's convenient - surely it could have been the case that nobody was in, in which case he could not have accessed the property anyway.

You have a right to your privacy, 100%. Lots of us would not feel comfortable alone with a strange man in our house while in our night clothes.

I hope your sister is able to speak to the company and complain about this guy. It's rare for me to agree with making a complaint about anybody, as in general I try to be understanding about the pressures people face in their jobs. But there is no excuse for being threatening and intimidating towards a vulnerable woman.

On a happier note your sister sounds great - glad you have her in your corner!

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/10/2025 01:35

If your mum was about /lives across the road and saw and spoke to the man why didn’t she come in with him

the bed needed a service or whatever he was doing. And someone was about to let him in /be with you

sounds you were a little difficult if he has travelled to you so I get why he was annoyed /frustrated

your mum could have helped you dress or put a cardi /dressing gown on over your nightie and helped you to your chair /wheelchair

Original poster
Maxsmum255 · 28/10/2025 01:27

Weallgotcrowns · 28/10/2025 01:23

Sounds very scary and he behaved reprehensibly. Hope your sister complains to the company and you get a better service in future. You were absolutely not being unreasonable.

Thank you.🙂

OP posts:
Weallgotcrowns · 28/10/2025 01:23

Sounds very scary and he behaved reprehensibly. Hope your sister complains to the company and you get a better service in future. You were absolutely not being unreasonable.

Original poster
Maxsmum255 · 28/10/2025 01:22

Eenameenadeeka · 28/10/2025 01:20

It doesn't sound like he has the right temperament for working with people at all, let alone people who may be more vulnerable. I hate when these companies say they will call, and then just turn up without calling first.

Thank you, Yes my mum said he seemed very aggressive.

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 28/10/2025 01:20

It doesn't sound like he has the right temperament for working with people at all, let alone people who may be more vulnerable. I hate when these companies say they will call, and then just turn up without calling first.

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