AIBU to have gone ballistic over DS buying alcohol

The best part about being 16 was trying to get served in the local off licence to get some White Lightening to take onto the parks/fields and have a piss up.

YANBU to be disappointed. But YABU to have gone “ballistic”.

My dh was able to buy alcohol at 15 because he looked older. He then got an evening job at that shop when he turned 18. No id checks then. He's grown in to a responsible normal adult. Is it more the tapering with id or the alcohol buying that's upset you.

Give over!!
So glad I grew up in a time where challenge 25 wasn't a thing 🤣

@SummerFeverVenicebut young people already doctor copies of their provisional driving licences and passports or buy cheap counterfeits. It was ever thus. I’m not especially arsed one way or another about digital ID but it clearly already happens and has done forever.

I wish I had a grip big enough to give you

Fair enough

Oh dear OP. You're a bit out of touch. Do you think most teenagers are sitting around sipping orange squash and playing lego?
He got sent away with a flea in his ear and looked like a prat. Enough done.

I’d left home and returned by his age, then gone again at 17. Working and learned to drive etc ,

I’m a Social Worker with Adolescents- are you really genuinely surprised he’s experimenting with alcohol?
or is it the trying to buy it , tampering part ?

isn’t there part of you pleased he’s out there a bit wanting to live a full teenage life with mates and push the boundaries a little? (As I can assure you the alternative of the social isolation some teens feel is crushing)

what does going ‘ballistic’ look like in your household?

If is very common and normal
behaviour. I have worked in shops and the amount of teenagers we turned away was frightening- both for alcohol and cigarettes.

I am not sure what you expected at 16 - but going ballistic is not the answer.

It really is. Calm down.

Exactly this.

i was out drinking and clubbing with most of my mates every weekend in year 12. Because we were underage we were sensible with it so as not to draw attention to ourselves and get kicked out.

the ones in my peer group who were forbidden from joining us until they turned 18 were the ones who drank themselves into oblivion the first time they were allowed out and had to be carried home……..

You’d think this, but the evidence doesn’t bear it out. The later you can delay that first drink, the less likely kids are to become problem drinkers.

"Ballistic"? It's fine for him to drink alcohol at 16, and I'd be surprised if he didn't. You may be cross that he messed with his ID, but it shows a certain amount of ingenuity. He's just being a completely normal teenager, tbh, so I'd cut him some slack.

Why are girls smarter? What a crap comment

I used to buy Dd's alcohol at that age, but I'm talking a few cans of dark fruits cider for a party, no spirits.

You are not in the wrong and should definitely kick off a little… but at the same time it’s pretty normal, I did the same as probably most did when we were teenagers . It ain’t that bad, but I wouldn’t condone it. Maybe a little telling off is all that’s needed but you don’t need to go to town, could be far worse!

How can the shop keeper not accept photo ID?

Lol silly boy You would think he'd go somewhere he wasn't known

Did he succeed? Or does he need to make a better fake id

Absolutely standard behaviour - if he were a bit smarter (ie, a girl) he'd have used a shop where he is not familiar to the staff!

Shows confidence though, so thats a plus.

The rollocking he gets for attempting it is also traditional - however if you go too far you make the alcohol much MORE tempting and he will cotton on how to get better at it and not get caught, rather than stop doing it.

Of my peer group, the binge drinkers were the kids of the 'never ever huge bollocking' style and the moderate 'stop when I've had sufficient/take it or leave it' types were the ones with the 'cool' parents.

I have a 16 year old. It is very common. She isn't out getting wasted every weekend like I was but it features. Just this weekend gone I found out that dd was drinking at a house party with half of the other 16 year olds in the area rather than where she said she would be. I didn't go ballistic but we had words about the lying.

Well we don't know what 'ballistic' constitutes do we?

No one has said she won't do all of the other things you have said.

But is she allowed to be cross with him? Of course. The idea that it's all shits and giggles is nonsense.

Ballistic is a bit much. Very few 16yo haven't at least tried alcohol.

It absolutely is standard/normal behaviour although obviously not behaviour to be encouraged. Do you ever allow him to have alcohol at home/on special occasions?

I'm not a cool mum, don't condone underage drinking, but i still think going "ballistic" was a mistake as her DS will be less likely to confide in her

I'd suggest better to talk about risks of drinking at young age, highlight that the shop assistant would lose their job if they sold alcohol to an U18 and encourage child to have confidence to make healthy choices and withstand peer pressure