AIBU to have gone ballistic over DS buying alcohol

Whatever. A parent giving a kid fake ID to buy booze is shit.

Definitely not unreasonable! Leave him in no doubt thar altering an ID for any purpose is wrong as is trying to buy alcohol. Take him to the shop to apologise for putting the shop owners license in jeopardy too.

It's the start of a slippery slope. Catch it now.

In the long run alcohol is just as detrimental to health, when it's over used ,as other drugs.Younger bodies and minds are damaged by binge drinking.The OP was probably going through this scenario in her head, because that's what a caring parent does .They don't want their childs life possiblity ruined by alcohol.Or by the fact that they may end up with a criminal record for using fake ID.

Better than buying weed, coke or ketamine, which you don’t need I’d for at all. I wouldn’t go ballistic. I’d probably buy him a couple of cans for a party-I’m not a cool parent. My kids think I’m strict.

The kids werent DRINKING underage though!!! They were underage to BUY alcohol but not drinking it. And its not breaking the law for them to attempt to buy alcohol, its against the law for the shopkeeper to sell it to them

No not at all but the whole “continental drinking is healthy” thing is a myth invented by the middle classes to justify their own unhealthy drinking.

Christ seriously? So you think actively supporting children to drink underage and break the law equates to stopping mollycoddling them?

I don’t think what the OP’s son did is awful in the scheme of things but theres a huge gulf between a knowing slap on the wrist and a quick talking to and “wahey, good on ya here’s a fake ID!”.

I’m also tired of this narrative that is so en vogue at the moment that benign neglect of children is the solution to all our problems.

I was the one in our friendship group who grew tall fast so I was buying us vodka at the supermarket when I was only 16- oddly they rarely questioned me 20 odd years ago.

Anyway we used to dump it into big bottles of coke we'd all share and nothing bad ever happened, besides being sick in my dads car one night when he came to pick me up. Mortifying.

I got my degree and a decent job and a mortgage and all the other things. You can be disappointed and have a talk about why but ballistic is a bit much for a normal teenage thing to do- did you and your friends not do the same?

So are all the french problem drinkers?

My dad made me and my friends a fake ID at 16. We need to stop mollycoddling our children.

Going ballistic won’t help. A calm sensible conversation perhaps?

Seriously? Do you live under a rock?!!

It’s the law not to sell alcohol to a minor. It’s not illegal to attempt to buy it.

16 year olds are allowed by law to have an alcoholic drink (beer, cider) in a pub with a meal, as long as they are accompanied by an adult, btw. Was always part of our family 16th Birthday celebrations! (Take proof of age, and not all pubs will necessarily do it, but it is legal!)

Ballistic is overreaction.
I’d speak to him. What was he buying and why.
If it was a few cans of beer for a house party then tbh I’d have given him some.
At 16 he’s legal to drink at home or have a beer or glass of wine in a pub or restaurant with a meal.
Venues are usually strict with ID now, I’d point out it wasn’t going to work and could cause him hassle if shop reported him. Borrowing real ID was a thing however for younger ones in my DD’s year (find someone similar looking but 18 plus)

It is still illegal in the UK for under 18's to purchase alcohol.It's to try to protect them from becoming alcoholic or possibly choking on their own vomit, whilst intoxicated.I know that may seem extreme to some people but it does actually happen.

It's not just the UK, I have Danish family and alcohol consumption by teenagers is of a similar level.

I'd tell him to stop being so stupid and trying to use fake ID and just ask me next time and I'd buy him some!

Why you likening Heroin and Ketamine to Alcohol, there are quite a few degrees difference! If they were of the same potency you would have heroin at weddings and funerals and Ketamine at Christmas time!

DS is being unreasonable for such an amateurish attempt.

YANBU either presuming you were a sweet innocent teenager who never so much as sniffed a Bacardi Breezer until you were 18.

(I was clubbing at that age, must have been a 90's thing).

Your dad was an alcoholic, that colours your opinion. As it would.
Mine weren´t. I grew up in Spain and was 16 in 1990. Drinking was legal at age 16 then. I would go with my friends to an Irish pub-disco and have a couple of beers and nibbles and a dance. Chat for a few hours, then head home. It was the normal thing to do. And no, we weren´t drunk. What I think is harmful is all this "happy hour" bullshit and other customs that promote drinking high quantities in short spans of time. I would forbid those. It was something I really noticed when I started to have some English friends, they drank huge amounts uber fast, including the women! Looked like theirs was the last glass of alcohol being served before the prohibition. Not creating a prohibited fruit is the way forward. Something more nuanced. Worked for my friends and I.

YABU. You don't have to be happy about it, but it is fairly normal behavior. To go ballistic is an overreaction.
If you overreact to more minor things, he won't come to you for bigger mistakes.

I find ballistic doesn't help. It's a huge luck of the draw if they end up using alcohol or drugs.
The main thing you can alter is your response to it.
I don't encourage mine ever to try alcohol or take drugs. I dont ban it either. I do talk about using drugs and alcohol safely and in great detail.
I do say which drugs they should never ever go near, and which if they do to be exceedingly careful with and how to do that (including alcohol).
I never lose my shit*with them because when they fuck up, which is quite likely I want them to know they can always, even at 3am when they are lost off their heads (as we have experienced- though not my child, but someone else's child who was too scared to ring their own parents. But thankfully mine wasn't).
Going ballistic means when they are pissed or spiked or having a panic attack after a spliff they are much less likely to get in touch with you. And much more likely to choose a more risky option such as walking home or sleeping in the park or staying with their dickhead boyfriend

I know exactly how much I give her. I was given alcohol from 8 years old, weak lager shandy’s. I was at nightclubs from 15. I am not an alcoholic and actually gave up alcohol by choice. So it may be personality traits/genetics.

Did you know it’s only illegal for under 5s to drink alcohol at home. Over 5s can drink alcohol at home they just can’t buy it.

When I worked at a chain restaurant years ago I learnt this as legally teenagers (16/17) could have one beer with their food if the parents where buying the food and drink. Blew my mind!

DD2 (16) just asks me to buy some for her for parties. She seems a lot more steady with it than I was at her age.