Cold heartless daughter

It's actually completely the other way round. Children are surrounded by adults making decisions with no empathy for their fellow humans, from political decisions that dehumanise people, lack compassion for vulnerable people or fund extermination of people they don't agree with, to individual adults being horrible to each other in shops and on transport or because they don't agree with an opinion or belief, to earning capacity being rewarded by advancing at the expense of others, to parents cheating and pretending to have a religious faith to get their children into a certain school. The list is long and insidious.
It's not our children who lack empathy in our society, they are just creating protective barriers, as children do, to try and have some place in an increasingly toxic society created by the adults.
But 11 can be an age where they transition from being sweet and parent pleasing to being unsure about how to react which they tend to cover with saying every is embarrassing. The contrast can be difficult for us parents to accept when it's happening and we can take it very personally, which generally it isn't.

Cold and heartless at 11? Get a grip. She probably just thinks you are an embarrassing drama llama. Totally normal for her age.

I mean…you fell over and needed two men to assist you home? Do you have medical conditions or the severity of the fall that would help provide context as to why that was necessary? I mean, I’m dyspraxic, fall over a LOT and have never needed anyone to even help me up. I’ve hobbled/trotted 70 miles on a busted ACL before. But a fall at the shop normally only really damages your dignity - surely a couple of minutes for the pain to ease off and you’re (limping) on your way again?

So, I think there might be a bit more to this story and think maybe your daughter would have a different take on it. Even your language is overblown. Your ‘cold, heartless daughter’? It all just smacks of high drama.

Could be wrong but, reading between the lines of your posts, I don’t think I am.

Thank God for those fabulous guys OP.

Her age? I would stop her pocket money

Maybe she has a personality disorder. These things become more prominent the older kids get.

Very much hoping you are not a parent! Or a pet owner or a plant owner even!!

Great way to prove to her daughter that she really is OTT dramatic. Brilliant idea.

Maybe because one is an 11 yo and one is a grown ass adult?

It's really hard to say without knowing you op. I have people in my family who I would (internally) roll my eyes if they were hobbling along after falling over.

Maybe she's a psychopath. Maybe you're a drama queen. Who knows!

Well, stop being caring towards her as she doesn't deserve it. If she doesn't care about other people then why should you care about her.

I find you describing your own daughter as cold and heartless more worrying than her reaction. Is that really the way you see her. Don’t you have a more generous point of view when looking at who she is as a person.

Are you regularly falling and crying and needing to be carried home? Do you have MS or a similar disability?

She is 11 and probably finds it awkward and embarrassing to feel like you're making a big scene everywhere you go. She is at a very ego-centric stage of life. I do think you need something in place to stop you from falling over as it's obviously not safe if you keep doing that.

Is she the same with everyone? If her friend fell would she help them, or roll her eyes and tell them not to fuss? I think that's the information makes a difference to any response you'd get.

It presumably you don’t regularly make a drama out of falling over? You don’t cry regularly in front of him/her? There are clues in the OP that she is a bit of a drama llama and this might her child’s reason for responding this way.

I would have reacted like this at that age to my mum too. She never cared about my emotions and also describes me as cold and heartless. Ironically, I'm the opposite but not with her. Work on your relationship because something isn't right there. I'm no contact with my mum now and it's the best decision I've ever made. Don't let your daughter feel that way one day.

Agree, although if thread had been full of 'awww hun!! You poor love!! What a cruel and unusual child! How sharper than a serpent's tooth she is!!' may have been different...

Do you have a habit of falling over or needing assistance?

I am a bit surprised by some of these responses. I do not have an 11-year-old but I do have a 10-year-old. He would be immediately springing to my help if I fell. He would be so upset if I was actually injured. Maybe that would all change in 12 months from now When he is 11 and not 10

"Demanding nightmare mother". There, fixed the headline for you. She's only 11 you fucking dick.

i dont think op is coming back.

You fell over, cried and needed helped home? Are you 5? Or 90?

Do you always make a drama out of everything?

Some people are just naturally more stoic and less overtly emotional. That is quite normal, and does not constitute a disorder. Similarly, empathy exists on a spectrum, and having less of it is not inherently disordered either.

It can quickly become very tedious when someone tries to insist that you must act in the way they deem acceptable. It can be impossible difficult to deal with very emotional people that expect a performative level of fawning empathy on a daily basis. You’ve given a snapshot without the necessary context.

It really depends on the fall. If someone smashes their face into the concrete I’d be checking on them rather than feeling awkward that they are crying, which might be a normal, involuntary reaction to pain.

Do you cry a lot in front of her? Are you always expecting sympathy for various things?

As PPs pointed out, it’s hard to judge fo m this alone.