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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cold heartless daughter

264 replies

Beeings · 27/10/2025 16:03

My daughter is 11. I went out to shop earlier and unfortunately fell. Two work men who were nearby came over to make sure I was ok and then helped me home. My daughter opened the door to see me hobbling up the path being supported by these two guys and her reaction? An eye roll. One of the guys said “your mum has just fallen” to which she rolled her eyes again and said “right”.

When they had gone I asked her why she’s so uncaring and she said I make a Rama out of everything and “why couldn’t you just walk home like a normal person? There isn’t even anything wrong with you”.

She’s always been like this, so cold and uncaring, why? AIBU to be upset by her reaction?

OP posts:

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 27/10/2025 16:20

I don't want to generalise because I hate ageism. But my experience of children and teenagers in recent years has been a total lack of what I consider normal human caring and empathy. So I don't find your dd's reaction particularly surprising. Very sad. But my experience would say it's typical of a generation totally desensitised from normal human feeling.

Luckyingame · 27/10/2025 16:20

FoxRedPuppy · 27/10/2025 16:13

I think it’s quite telling that you describe her as cold and heartless. Which suggests you deal with emotions differently.

This.
Behind every behaviour of a child is the first adult in their life - usually a parent.

FrenchandSaunders · 27/10/2025 16:20

How old are you, how did you fall over and did it really need two blokes to help you home. I'm confused. Apologies if you have really hurt yourself, but I'd have jumped up embarrassed and dusted myself down ... I wouldn't want any help.

TeeBee · 27/10/2025 16:19

I’d be mortified if my sons acted this way. However, they know I’m very stoic so would be quite alarmed if someone was needing to help me. I’m going to go against the grain and say I don’t think that’s normal behaviour. Sounds like she has no empathy. Unless you really do always cause a drama…then I might think differently.

BallerinaRadio · 27/10/2025 16:17

Are the poster who regularly posts about your terrible daughter and the multiple awful ways she treats you? And then usually follow it up with a load of backstory?

TwinklyStork · 27/10/2025 16:16

Beeings · 27/10/2025 16:06

Should also add that she gets irritated at people crying too, never shows concern.
“as if you cry because you fell over”
“oh here we go, let’s just cry constantly” etc etc

So you fell over and were crying? She was embarrassed! Do you have form for crying and drama? Why did you need two men to "help you home"? Had you broken a bone?

Sounds like she might have a point!

JohnTheRevelator · 27/10/2025 16:16

Upsetting as it is,I think this sort of behaviour is quiet common in 11 year olds. If she was behaving like this 10 years down the line,then I'd be worried. And annoyed!

AhBiscuits · 27/10/2025 16:13

It depends if you have form for making a big drama out of things. I wouldn't say it was usual for an adult to cry after falling over.

FoxRedPuppy · 27/10/2025 16:13

I think it’s quite telling that you describe her as cold and heartless. Which suggests you deal with emotions differently.

FoxRedPuppy · 27/10/2025 16:10

Most 11 year olds would be mortified that their mum fell over.

How is she seeing you cry so much? I fall over a lot and I don’t cry. You say it like it’s a common occurrence.

She feels uncomfortable with the emotion. I don’t disregard people, but I would feel uncomfortable I think either way an adult crying at falling over. But I wouldn’t show it.

Knockonw00d · 27/10/2025 16:08

That’s a sign then that she doesn’t feel able to be outwardly emotional and projects that onto others because it makes her uncomfortable.
you need to find the route of why she doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with her emotions and displaying sympathy.

vincettenoir · 27/10/2025 16:08

It would be difficult for anyone to make any informed comments about your daughter or her behaviours based on this one interaction. It sounds like you need to re-connect and talk to each other so you can find out what is going on with her.

I hope you leg feels better soon anyway.