In laws ‘teasing’ about my age

My FIL used to do exactly this - and I am 6 years younger than DH. He used to say things like, "I bet you willl be really upset about turning 40" or more bizarrely he would refer to me in the third person (while I was right in front of him) and say "Soda is really going to hate turning 40."

It came out of the blue because they had known me for 20 years by this time and I had never commented on birthdays and ages. If I said I wasn't bothered about turning 40, he took that as evidence that I was. I couldn't win. I just used to tilt my head, raise my eyebrows amd smile. They lived hundreds of miles from us and stayed for a week maybe 3 times a year, so I just concentrated on getting through it without a big argument.

Another gem from him was, "because you are star sign Virgo, you will be struggle to be affectionate with your children." Both FIL and MIL took horoscopes very seriously.

Because they were generally very kind I let a few weird remarks wash over me.

I am a whole lot older and wiser now - and less tolerant of nonsense. I would probably say something like, "now Gerorge, can we both consider the remark you just made, why you made it and how you expected me to feel about it?"

“I know! Awful isn’t it, what’s it like at your age?”

Ps, don’t send the oap card. Once they know it upsets you, game over. They are looking for reaction.

With these types, I just vanish. They just never hear from me again, yes..even in laws (cut off, buh bye now 👋 )

You want to take away their power? Make them feel irrelevant by interrupting them whenever they show any indication of mentioning your age then speaking over them. Timing is crucial.

If they persist and you’re at the limit you could remind them that DP chose you, you chose him but prefer it if they weren’t part of the deal. It would be NC forever though. Consider this carefully beforehand.

Wouldn’t care about causing offence, just wouldn’t see them again. Life is too short to spend it around narcissistic twats

They still can be your parents but fair enough, your husband is still very young and could catch a 30 years old. Either ways, forget about it

just say
' why do you always mention my age, it bores and confuses me'

Doesnt need to be a drama

write 10 MINUTES on a slip of paper, fold in half and put in your bag before next meetup. When one of them invariably drops the dumb joke, pull the slip out, unfold it and show them, saying 'well you were faster/slower than I predicted this time.'

And just stare at them both with no expression at all.

NO that may very well be the reaction they're secretly wanting

Shame 😁 I know it's a bit much but arsholes need to be stopped in their tracks occasionally, with the discomfort being put back on them. I suspect there's nothing 'polite' you can say to change this because they'll just ignore it. Keep the cowgirl line your sleeve - just in case.

Also, why are we resigned to being age-shamed (or whatever it's called?) In this day and age? Fuck that!

"Still a spring chicken compared to you two". Said every single time. Make it your catchphrase.

You need to take the sting out of their comments.
‘Yes, like a fine wine!’
’DH was more mature than most men his age.’
DH appreciates I’m an excellent vintage’ etc etc.

I'd reply "yeah but I can still ride your son like cowgirl on speed. Can you still do that MIL?".

Cue the most awkward silence ever but I doubt they'll risk mentioning again.

These two inebriates have put you in an awful situation o be careful what you do next

OP has not said anything about them being drunk.

The good thing about getting older is that you can stop caring so much about what stupid people think about you. If I were you, I’d be a lot less available to see them. You don’t like them and they are rude to you. They are your partner’s parents so you don’t actually need to spend time with them as he can see them on his own.

What is the age gap between his parents?
Lots of people think the man should be a bit older than the woman and that men don’t want a woman older than them later on in life, they prefer younger. I am guessing they think their son can do better. It’s passive aggressive but they are making their thoughts clear.

Got itc fair enough.

'You said the same thing last week, memory loss is common at your age, perhaps you should get checked out?'

'Do you remember being 40? Bet you miss those days now!'

'Yes, still 40, still feel great.... what does it feel like to be as old as you?'

'You hear about older people having no filter and becoming rude, is that what's happening to you?'

'Yes, still only 40... not even half way through my life... <thoughtful pause> Oh, I hope I didn't upset you by saying that?'

They are just being dickheads. Don't let their repetitive nonsense wind you up.

Why do you joke about your age? What's funny about it?

Maybe stop doing that and stop seeing them as well

OP's partner is a "he".

It's OK - OP told us.

But they WANT to annoy her.

Or laugh uproariously and start up again every time they try to change the subject to move on.