One parent working in this climate - possible?

Although it would make our current life so much easier, I wouldn’t consider giving up work as I think the money is so important for their future.

All I read about now is how young adults can’t afford to move out, let alone buy their own properties. So I’m happy to work to save for their future.

I found a really good compromise is to work part time and have a day off or a few hours where the kids are in nursery to get things done.

Realistically you need to consider how easy it would be for him to find another job. As I mentioned the job market is bleak, as so many companies making redundancies and cut backs. Even the local supermarkets don't seem to recruit so much now they use self checkouts.
Obviously this depends on where you live, but I know where I am it's really hard.

A lot of 'school mums' work as TAs where I work. So I guess having a child at the school gives you some knowledge of the school, plus parenting experience. I do have a background in teaching so I do have that, but a lot of colleagues have no specific qualifications.

£2200 a month really isn't a lot. As I said, our groceries are on average £600 a month. Then factor in a mortgage (even if you are on a good rate now), council tax, mobile phones, gas, electric, water rates (this is where ours are extortionate) and any subscriptions you might have (netflix, Amazon). Then you have all the one offs (which you may pay monthly) such as various insurance, mot, car servicing. Birthdays, Christmas.
Also you need to consider what savings you have. While you mention having a nice car, and have no big spends planned, what if something unexpected happened - new boiler? Car breakdown and needs major work? Will you be able to continue to save if you stop work?

Also while you say knocking coffee on the head will save, unless you both buy coffee out every day this is not where money gets eaten up..it is definitely the bigger things and life will become very miserable if you find you can't afford any treats (ask my husband, he tells me I am the coffee police after I questioned him recently on always wanting a hot drink anytime we go anywhere 😂).

No I’m in Scotland, but £2k/month doesn’t go far if you’re paying for housing and feeding 3/4 people. I certainly couldn’t do it.

I don’t think you earn anywhere near enough to have the luxury of a SAHP. You need to decide what is more valuable, more time with your children but money worries or less time with your children but the money to have lovely experiences

My husband earns around that if he reaches his targets and gets his monthly bonus.
There is no way we would be able to afford to live on his salary alone. The cost of everything keeps on rising and you need to factor this in before deciding for one of you to give up work completely. Our food bill is now around £600 a month for example. There are then things to consider as your kids get older such as if they go to any clubs. Mine do scouts which is one of the cheapest options, but have friends whose kids do football academy and things like that which cost a lot more.
Also you say being home will make everyone happier, but that may only be in the short term. The cost of days out is something else you might factor in - yes at your kids ages it is easy to find low cost or free activities but as they get older it becomes harder and a day out more expensive.
If one of you opts out of work now, will it be easy to find another job? I know some people find it easy to jump into something, but personally I have found the job market rather bleak.
I currently work as a TA in my children's school (though they will soon be moving to secondary). This is a low paid job but is term time so no childcare issues and I am there to drop off/pick up. Could either of your jobs be flexible in terms of school hours and maybe that would be a balance to what you are wanting?
Have you looked at funding for your children in nursery? Assuming the 4 year old already goes and is the eldest in the year or is already in school, so only one child to pay for? Also childminders are usually cheaper too and do take funding.

We saved my wage for the 9 months of pregnancy and the 6 month maternity pay, just to prove to ourselves we could manage without my wage before deciding I'd go back for the minimum time to not have to pay back maternity.
One word of caution -
My "career" in IT was destroyed. But the kids have grown up happy.
Is his career one he can hop back into? Or is life going to change permanently? Are you both prepared for the feelings this will engender.

It was financially possible for me to be a SAHM when my two were little on my ex-husband's salary - very much so. But it was something I never wanted to do or to risk and I am grateful every day I didn't! I was earning a huge amount less than my ex but it wasn't all about that - it was mostly about making sure that I could leave if ever I needed to (which eventually I dd).
I am now remarried and we both work. This time my money is essential to help pay the rent, bills etc, but again - would still choose to work anyway.

Don't forget to transfer your personal tax allowance from the one that isn't working. That's worth a fair bit of £.

I was SAHM until my youngest started school. Even now, I work very part time earning about 8k a year and DH works full time on 50k. We have 2 DCs with SEN and not a week goes by when we don't have hospital appointments, meetings at school or a DC at home due to burnout.
We don't get any top ups, but we feel quite happy and comfortable. Due to DCs needs we can't really go on holidays, days out or have meals out anyway.
This way of life is what works for us. We simply couldn't manage if both of us worked full time.

I don’t know anyone that could live on £30k with children and another adult to feed, I’m a single parent on double that and while I don’t worry about money, if I dropped much further I would need to pull my belt in a bit.

Im older so no longer in this position but most people with kids I know of, dad earns under 30k, mum works PT with minimum wage or not all all( tinys) , UC top ups.
It was the norm in my circles even when my kids were little.

such generalisations because consultants and head teachers of large schools will fall into these salaries!!

Approx £85k maybe a bit less

I think that’s such a good idea, to slow down. How old are the kids? However old they are, they’ll never be this young again and time is so precious. The kids will really benefit - or, my kids certainly had more chilled lives when I was a SAHM! Now they do after school club 2 days a week which they hate and I feel incredibly guilty! I’m missing lots of school events - either DH doing some or we’re both missing them, feel bad about that too!

It’s complicated though. I work now because it’s a passion and it’s good for my kids to see me following that and doing something for myself. We obviously have (a bit) more money coming in and the parenting/feeding/cleaning is more 50/50. I treasure my SAHM days but nothing has to be forever, change is good :)

Oh and he’s tech x

@Wherethewildthingsar i probably would, I grew up in the middle of the countryside but DH is a London boy and i don’t think he would be happy anywhere else 😂 or at least somewhere with very easy access. So to satisfy DH ease of access to the city and my love of green spaces and English countryside-esque pubs/walks/buildings we end up in very expensive areas wherever we discuss living 😂

When I started being a SAHM childcare cost more than my wage. Obviously now the kids are teens that's not the case, and I'm working now, but self employed around their needs. Its not as simple as one parents salary, its the difference in income after childcare etc.

(Our family income was about 50k 14 years ago no benefits but cheap housing with his job... his pay is around 70k now plus about 20k from me)

My sister is a SAHM currently, her husband is on 50k (potential to earn more maybe up to 70/80k in time) so costs are tight but manageable.
We are North East of the country