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AIBU?

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Original poster

To give up a rent-free flat for a more baby-friendly home?

135 replies

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 27/10/2025 11:33

Stay where you are, save frantically, and aim to move after you go back to work. It’s hard working from home with a baby around, might it be worth DH considering working from the office?

MrsShawnSpencer · 27/10/2025 11:32

Babies don't need much space. I would stay there for a few years and save what you would be spending on a mortgage in a separate bank account

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 27/10/2025 11:29

Id stay where you are while your child is small. You can plan towards getting somewhere else as the years goes on

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:28

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

make the office into a nursery and get a space saving desk for your bedroom to set up a work area for you?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 27/10/2025 11:28

Long term obviously you need to move but I’d plan to stay where you are at least for the first year whilst you’re on mat leave and whilst baby is still not very mobile and doesn’t need own room. I would move DP to your office whilst you’re on mat leave so you can use the living room.

MeganM3 · 27/10/2025 11:28

Stay as long as you can and use this fantastic opportunity to save up.

FunnyOrca · 27/10/2025 11:28

Do it now. Much easier to move and house hunt without a baby!

Also if you both wfh, things are going to start feeling very tight when Mat leave ends, just as baby is roaming more.

fishtank12345 · 27/10/2025 11:27

Scallopededges · 27/10/2025 11:23

I’m in the very early stages of pregnancy and DH and I are starting to think ahead. We live in a lovely SW London flat owned by family (no mortgage/rent, can stay as long as we like, but it’s not ours to keep or sell).

It’s perfect for us as a couple but not too baby friendly (2nd floor, no lift, nowhere to leave a buggy - though we do have a car outside). It’s a 2 bed but the second room is small (my office at the moment) and DH works in the living room, so space would be tight once a baby arrives.

Staying means minimal outgoings, which would make mat leave and future work decisions much easier. But if we want a proper family home in the area, we’d need to take on a big mortgage even on top of all our savings. We don’t want to move out of area as work and families are all here.

We’d like more than one DC, so moving and big mortgage is inevitable at some point. AIBU to think we should just go for it now, or would it be madness to give up our current situation before we absolutely have to?

Could you just stay there until maternity pay is over and then move ? Money is going to be really needed with a baby. Can you use a baby carrier instead of a buggy on solo outings, to make the buggy thing not as hard for you?

MidnightPatrol · 27/10/2025 11:26

IMO you’d be insane to give up your current situation before you have to.

How much would you be spending on rent otherwise - £25k a year? More? Thats a lot of money towards the house purchase…!

THISbitchingwitch · 27/10/2025 11:25

Id stay where you are and save as much as possible while pregnant / child small