Is my husband and close family right about her?

Message this so called friend saying you've contacted the bride letting her know you won't be attending her wedding in Italy but will hopefully be able to attend the home celebrations & that the bride is over the moon about your pregnancy & totally understands that you'll not be able to make it to Italy so soon after baby arrives. Big up the Bride for being so caring & understanding, it might make this other 'friend' realise she's been a cow to you.

Oh my days she's beyond toxic and will cause no end of trouble, please for everyone's sake best get rid!

She's really jealous. I feel for her but it doesn't excuse her behaviour. My best friend went all negative on me when I got engaged and married. She had been with her boyfriend for 15 years at that point with no sign of a ring. We had been so close for so long that I chose to understand what she was going through and not judge her for her comments. She later did get married and we're now back on track.

I mean there you go. Jealousy.

She’s been with her DP longer, but isn’t yet married, no children, no settled abode.

You on the other hand have met someone, got married, have a new lovely bigger home and are now pregnant. You’ve achieved everything she wants, before her and in a shorter space of time.

A real friend wouldn’t get jealous of your achievements and if they did (we’re all human), they’d hide it and not treat you poorly because of them, as they’d know that it’s their issue to control/deal with.

She isn’t a good friend. And at a time you need to be stress free and enjoying your pregnancy, she’s causing you stress. Your DH and family can see this.

Sometimes being direct is the best way. Just tell her you find her unsupportive and rude. That she’s causing you stress during your pregnancy with her comments and attitude, and you need to move away from the friendship, to protect your own mental health and the health of your child.

Had an identical friendship to this, I started off as the single friend who didn’t have her life together, then gradually as I met my husband-to-be, bought a house, car and started a family, her friendship became more and more toxic. She came to see me after I gave birth to my first child and said several rude things. That was the final straw, I told her to get lost in no uncertain terms and haven’t seen her since. It’s been 11 years.

Big big congratulations on your pregnancy xx

The green-eyed monster is strong in this one. She's as jealous as hell, and the only way she can cope with it is by making these nasty digs at you.

Listen to your DH and your family, and give her the push.

You must walk away from this toxic relationship.
The fact you are asking for advice suggests that you have low self esteem and are not assertive enough.
You dont need her.

The fact you've taken the time & trouble to come here & ask the question tells you exactly what you need to know. Congratulations on your baby news!

I had a friend like this OP. It’s jealousy I’m afraid. You have what she would like and she’s struggling to come to terms with it. Nothing will make this better, it’s time to distance yourself

And congrats on your pregnancy.

She’s trying to rain on your parade.

Before you met, married and became pregnant, she was the one with the long term partner, and now you’ve ‘beaten’ her. Her long term relationship has going nowhere. She’s 39, and wants children, and probably realises that time is running out.

Yes, she’s jealous of you. If you feel charitable, have a talk to her and say how hurt you were by her comments about your pregnancy and the wedding. If you feel the friendship has run its. Purse, then let it fade away.

(and the hotel/ocd bizarre. Does she need to know the hotels of all her friends? Almost stalker-ish).

Get rid. She’s bringing nothing but negativity into your life.

Do it now. Don’t wait until baby arrives and she starts saying nasty things about her/him and criticising your parenting. You have a good husband and family in your life. You don’t need her.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope all goes great x

Your husband and sister are right.

Congratulations btw.

Let the friendship go op. She’s not a genuine friend she’s very jealous and a true friend would be very happy with your news. Definitely let the friendship fade don’t Tell her nothing important hopefully she’ll get the message. Otherwise call her out on her nastiness she will definitely get the message.

She just wants to Google where you are staying and how much you paid to do so

Does she have a spare key to your house by any chance?

When baby arrives her jealousy will go into overdrive. She could start criticising your parenting, and trying to destroy your confidence. Dump her now.

Pay close attention to those who don't clap when you win

next time send her a pic of the most expensive hotel in the region you're in, maybe include a meme like this 😇

she's jealous, time to leave her in the past.

She is 100% jealous of you, your marriage, and your lifestyle. She also sounds like a complete cunt, sorry.

I would have ended this friendship a long time ago.

I had a similar friend with the same traits and had to cut her off. She was making me ill. I strongly recommend you do the same - falling pregnant is so precious especially after such a hard journey, it’s not got anything to do with anyone else. Cut her off and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations 🩷

I would use the time before you have your child to seek some therapy to improve your self esteem and your relationships OP.

She sounds like a shit friend but she's your shit friend.

So don't let your DH or your sisters tell you what to do.

Hopefully you'll come to the right decision all by yourself and have nothing more to do with her.

But it's your choice, not theirs.