For admonishing DM - diabetes and having cake as a meal

Ha, cross-post with @CharlotteCChapel.

You're very early into your diabetes journey to be so cocky.

I was like this at first but fifteen years later i was on two different medications. Don't be quite so cocky.

It's really mentally hard to stick to a diabetic diet. It may be worth getting them a blood monitor, you rarely get them from the NHS for type 2. I have one because a recent serious illness stops me from taking most diabetic mefd and the one i can take isn't very effective.

Well done you! Are you on metformin?

Oh I think I touched someone’s nerves.

It was simple and easy for you to do. That does not mean that your experience is the universal experience. I was diagnosed over a year ago, have been incredibly compliant, have cut all carbs barring what’s in non-starchy veg, have lost over 6 stone to get into the healthy BMI zone and still need medication to remain within the normal blood sugar range.

It’s fantastic that you were able to easily go into remission, but not-everyone will be able to do that.

The only thing you can control is how you manage your fear and anxiety about her dying.....the best thing you can do is to get talking therapy to process all these emotions.

Not for type 2, can't even get test strips

My DH is diabetic and honestly, I just leave him to it. He's a grown adult. He doesn't need to be nagged into eating a healthy diet.

It IS worrying and I totally get where you're coming from but you can't and won't change her. She needs to do it for herself.

Sounds like my late MIL, who died from uncontrolled diabetes. Hugely overweight and addicted to sugar and "treats". She was going blind, was doubly incontinent, her legs covered in weeping sores. All reversible and controllable. Bags of sweets all over the house, fridge full of sweetened yoghurts and desserts. She knew all the advice, got all the help and offers of help, but nothing got through to her. We gave up trying to help her eventually, worn down by all her bullshit.
What was awful was that we knew 3 people who had completely reversed their type 2 diabetes and had come off metformin, simply by losing weight and eating a lowish carb diet.
If you can get through to her, please try.

I spent years trying to help my mum improve her diet. I even spoke to the GP about it at one of her regular check ups, he said that it's commendable to try, but you can lead a horse to water...........
She knows what she should be doing, but it's pointless stressing yourself out, as it will probably make no difference.

1. Amputations and death are not an inevitable outcome.

2. Trying to scare someone into compliance with disgusting photos is despicable behaviour. It would destroy your relationship, and - to use a couple of cliches- is likely to have the effect of making the other person dig in their heels and stick their head in the sand. They would probably become more obstinant about continuing their lifestyle without change and refuse to find out more by trying to ignore the existence of something that is fear-inducing.

3. Given your advice, just curious about your own behaviour with friends and colleagues when they engage in activities you deem potentially likely to cost YOU tax money.
   Do you have a nice stock of pictures of lung cancer for the smokers in your life?
   Do you have a nice stock of details about HIV and syphilis for when someone you know starts a new relationship?
   Pictures of horrendous birth defects for when a colleague gets pregnant?
   Pictures of complex traumatic injuries for those you know who are about to set off on a skiing holiday?
   Pictures of cirrhosis of the liver for drinkers?
   Pictures of horrendous car crash victims for those you know who drive?

Or is it just this one disease, for you, where the sick person should be shamed and bullied?

I have pretty much reversed what they called Type 2 within 6 weeks of receiving initial blood test results. It is simple and easy to do. My FBG was 5.3 mmols/L this morning - normal range, down from over 11 at the beginning of September. I am having a repeat blood test later this week which I am confident will show a significant reduction in blood glucose. More people should just get on and commit for 6-8 weeks to get themselves into remission.

Well the freedom of choice is interesting

we are not free to kill others for example

we are not free to do many things that harm others and this harms others

so freedom to chose needs to be balanced with understanding at the very least that others should be free to express their disgust and disapproval and disappointment

OP, your concern may be coming from a good place, but it's not your job to police another person's lifestyle. Your mother is allowed to make her own choices, including the ones that are/may be bad for her health.
For example, plenty of healthcare professionals smoke - they know the impact and consequences, but they make that decision. It's nobody else's business (and I say this as a non-smoker, but I believe that we are all entitled to freedom of choice).

Oh it’s so hard - you know this ends up in hospital with amputations and death but she won’t change her habits and there is nothing you can do

unless you get some disgusting photos to show her perhaps ?

these choices of hers will hurt her, will hurt you more and currently cost the NHS huge amounts of MY tax money

Don’t be ridiculous.
Every single one of us make ‘choices’ that might impact on other people and society. Drinking, smoking, sports, having children, eating certain foods, driving a car etc etc etc.
Each of us (if we have capacity to make those choices) also has a legal right as a human being to make our own decisions, even if those decisions are unwise. It’s a key part of safeguarding.
It might be selfish, but it sounds like she understands the implications and it’s absolutely ‘her choice’ to eat rubbish and put her health at serious risk.
It’s sometimes not as simple as a cause and effect either; sometimes quality of a life is a bigger consideration, depending on the situation.
Nobody can be ‘forced’ to be a carer.

Those with Type 1 ( or treated as type 1 )can
I don't think those with type 2 can though.

Replacing one meal with a slice of cake isn't the end of the world. Maybe with the hot chocolate you could encourage her to use sweeteners. But it's got milk in it which is good for your bones.

I mean if she literally eats that every single day and no normal food then she's clearly got an eating disorder. Which isn't that easy to just tell someone to change or stop.

My mum is diabetic and doesn't need medication but she still eats a couple of biscuits or a slice or cake every day. Alongside reasonable balanced wholesome meals. I would never bother moaning at her. Food gives people pleasure. At 86 she should be enjoying things as much as she can while there is still time!

Well it’s her life. As long as she doesn’t expect you to take care of her in a decade’s time when she’s having her leg ulcers treated or dealing with blindness and kidney problems…

No.

As I said above, I have Type 1.

BLOOD SUGAR that is too high long term can cause the issues you describe. Eating SUGAR, per se, does not.

A fairly simplified version of what happens, but:

All the food you eat is broken down within the body into glucose which is used as fuel. Different types of food take different amounts of time to be broken down into glucose. Simple sugars, such as glucose, sucrose and the like are broken down more quickly. More complex carbohydrates take longer, and protein and fats take longer still, but are still ultimately broken down into glucose.
This glucose is transported in the bloodstream around the body to be carried into cells to be used as fuel.
Insulin can be thought of as a 'key' which allows that glucose to get into the cells. Without insulin, the glucose can not get in, the cells are starved of energy, and glucose builds up increasingly in the bloodstream (i.e. the blood sugar becomes too high), with the body doing its utmost to get rid of the excess via urine.

The pancreas of a type 1 diabetic produces no insulin at all. Therefore, in order to get energy into the cells FROM ANY FOOD SOURCE, insulin is needed.
It is actually easiest to dose the correct insulin amount and control blood sugar when eating something which is high in sucrose, because it is broken down so quickly. By contrast, a meal containing large amounts of protein, fat and just some carbohydrates is much harder to get right, as the rate of the foods being broken down into glucose is slow and often unpredictable. Food is still being broken down, but the insulin to cover the meal has already been 'used up'.

Without any insulin, even eating NOTHING AT ALL, the blood sugar of someone with Type 1 will skyrocket. Death will occur within a matter of days even if one were to eat nothing. This is of course what happened to Type 1s before insulin was discovered/manufactured.

In addition, people whose bodies work normally are usually unaware that their pancreas is CONSTANTLY pumping out a smaller or larger amount of insulin. For example, when one wakes up in the morning, the liver (which is one place where the body stores glucose) dumps a load of glucose into the bloodstream to provide energy to start the day.
For a Type 1, without insulin, this will of course raise blood sugar. So you need to have some insulin active in your body at all times, whether by injecting slow-acting 'background' insulin as well as fast-acting insulin to cover the meals you eat, or by using an insulin pump which gives a tiny amount of insulin every couple of minutes (so-called 'basal'), as well as a larger amount (so-called 'bolus') for when you eat something. The correct amounts of all this insulin varies from person to person, is usually different at different times of day, and is pretty difficult to get perfectly right.

So, to summarise, if you have Type 1, you need insulin, even when you are not eating. When you do eat, you need more insulin. You have to figure out how much insulin you need in accordance with what you are eating, which means you are trying to do manually something that other people's bodies do automatically, and it is hard to get it right.

However, SUGAR is not off-limits.

I'm going to finish by quoting myself from upthread:

'As someone who has been, against my will, been given all sorts of - usually wrong - dietary advice or judgement from family, friends and strangers for YEARS now...'

... would you please just stop it.

And that goes for judging people with Type 2 as well.

Too much sugar with Type 1 diabetes, long term can cause kidney disease and nerve damage to your hands and feet.Sugar, which I too love,is like an addiction.People with type 1 actually can't process sugar,so need insulin injections to do that for them.I don't understand how someone can think they can eat as much sugar as they want just because they are taking medication.
It's an individual choice though, I guess.

Type 1 or type 2? Because if he is T1 and on insulin, he can eat what he wants to eat.