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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What are YOUR thoughts on this shit show?

229 replies

filmforthefuture · 26/10/2025 19:10

We have close relatives who live in a tiny terraced house on a narrow street. No driveway, no allocated parking spaces. Parking is permitted on both sides of the street.. no lines.. no restrictions .. no Permit Zone.

There’s been several occasions that we’ve had to park up the street in front of another neighbours house, due to lack of spaces.

We try to park nearer to our relatives house for ease but it’s often not possible on this busy street. We have no interest in pissing anyone off, we park respectfully in any vacant space, and we only stay for a few (3?) hours.

Our view is that it’s an unlined street, no restrictions, no dedicated parking spaces- We are NOT breaking the law in any way.
We feel quite strongly that being ‘ambushed’ in to moving our vehicle when it’s parked legally is a liberty, and we’re being bullied in to moving.

Each time we ‘dare’ to park in front of this neighbours house, said neighbour has passive aggressively come to our relative's house demanding we move our car as he ‘wants to park in front of his own house so he can keep a check on his car through his ring doorbell’. Apparently his car was broken into sometime.

So far, each time we’ve obliged - BECAUSE our relative immediately flies into a panic, is literally begging us to move the car to ‘keep the peace’, while our other relative goes into a full blown meltdown panicking in case we don’t oblige.

One of our relatives is a people pleaser who would allow strangers to use them as a doormat- but doesn’t seem to care about our views or needs. The other relative (autistic) flies into rages or screams and stomps upstairs if we explain ‘No, we shouldn’t have to move just to placate (entitled) neighbour’.

Cue WW3.

This whole facade was repeated again yesterday. We were all eating dinner together at relatives house. Neighbour called round, demanding ‘They (us) need to move their car. I want only my car in front of my house so I can monitor it’ (They have no disabilities that require their vehicle nearby). Relatives are pleading with us, I was saying I didn’t want to move the car, as my partner was having a panic attack as soon as she heard the neighbour at the door (knowing it would kick off). Other relative is screaming demanding we just ‘oblige to keep the peace’. In the end, our relative actually searched for my partners bag, took our car keys out and moved the car. I was absolutely shocked & dumbfounded that all this transpired so quickly and in such an aggressive and over dramatic way. Especially as our request for our car not to be moved was ignored. We are not the fittest of people physically, and both have poor mental health.

We are both disabled with Blue Badges, displayed in the front window.

We have absolutely no idea how to handle this going forward.

YANU - Give in to the neighbour, for harmony on the relatives street, and prevent the relatives from hysteria - while going against our own principals - anything to keep the peace - but feel our wishes - and needs are ignored?

YANBU - OR for the sake of both our MH & physical abilities, Stick to our boundaries - we’re not breaking the law - we are disabled - the car stays where it is.

Prepared for all sorts of replies.
Please vote…

OP posts:
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chaosmaker · 04/11/2025 07:27

The blue badge is irrelevant and wouldn't need to be used unless in a disabled parking bay. The neighbour WOULD have seen the wheelchairs though.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 03/11/2025 18:50

ruethewhirl · 30/10/2025 22:06

I hope you're going to ask for this post to be deleted when you realise what an arse you've just made of yourself.

Oops I did read the original post but in my defense the bit about blue badges is one line in quite a long OP. I'm not going to ask for it to be deleted, I'll own the mistake.
Apologies to OP if they see this.💐
I would suggest getting rellies to visit you in that case. Also what an arsehole the neighbour is if they have seen the blue badges!!

TheMagicDeckchair · 30/10/2025 22:25

Obviously relatives’ neighbours are completely unreasonable…but they have to live next door to them, and it sounds like they’re pretty terrified of this aggressive guy, and you like them and want to keep seeing them. Neighbour is a total bully and if you lived next door to them fair enough, but your relatives will have to deal with any fallout.

Do they drive? Do they have a car? If they have a car, can they park in a suitable spot outside their house and let you take the spot when you arrive? You could call them when they arrive and they could move their car and let you have their spot. Or put out cones as another poster upthread suggested.

Failing that, try and meet elsewhere with better parking. Or have them visit you sometimes.

ruethewhirl · 30/10/2025 22:06

DollydaydreamTheThird · 30/10/2025 20:35

I just would never park outside someone's house. This is what happens. Park somewhere else and walk to relatives. Stop being so lazy and trying to shit stir and cause hell for your relatives. You obviously like the drama if you keep doing it.

I hope you're going to ask for this post to be deleted when you realise what an arse you've just made of yourself.

nocoolnamesleft · 30/10/2025 21:58

DollydaydreamTheThird · 30/10/2025 20:35

I just would never park outside someone's house. This is what happens. Park somewhere else and walk to relatives. Stop being so lazy and trying to shit stir and cause hell for your relatives. You obviously like the drama if you keep doing it.

You didn't read all the OP's posts did you? Wheelchair users.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 30/10/2025 20:35

I just would never park outside someone's house. This is what happens. Park somewhere else and walk to relatives. Stop being so lazy and trying to shit stir and cause hell for your relatives. You obviously like the drama if you keep doing it.

Maray1967 · 28/10/2025 17:15

FuzzyWolf · 26/10/2025 19:15

Whilst YANBU to park in any legal space, I would just meet your relative elsewhere.

I wouldn’t make things difficult for a relative given they are the ones that have to live with any repercussions of your actions and for that reason YABU.

This. Yes, you have a right to park there, but this is your relatives’ street and you have to respect their preference on this point. We ask our visitors not to park too close to an elderly neighbour’s dropped kerb as he gets upset if anyone does. None of our visitors have refused to move their car.

NotThisShitAgain121 · 28/10/2025 17:11

I would not bother visiting the relatives anymore if it going to cause this amount of shit - sod that. Not worth the bloody hassle.

Cherrysoup · 28/10/2025 13:01

Lambington · 26/10/2025 20:07

If your relative took your keys and moved the car against your will you should report them to the police. Presumably they were diving while uninsured.
The neighbour needs to be ignored (dont answer the door) unless they are using threatening language. Then call the police. If you are registered disabled then you have a protected chatacteristic so any abuse on their part could amount to a hate crime. Record all interactions (video). Keep doing this until they get the message.

Or just stop going.

Report them for what? Driving uninsured? Maybe they have fully comp insurance themselves so can legally drive another car. They didn’t TWOC it with the intention of stealing it. Do you think reporting their relative for moving the car will help relationships?

If the OP can’t walk far, they could approach then ask their relative to park somewhere suitable that doesn’t wind up the (extremely unreasonable) neighbour, who is being a total dick, but I’d rather not upset my relatives, which the OP knows will happen every time they park outside the neighbour’s house. Very unreasonable, but why persist in something, even if you’re acting perfectly legally, which will cause major friction?

whynotwhatknot · 28/10/2025 12:52

icompletely agree with you and more seeing as youre disabled i would never ask someone in a wheelchair to move their car

my sil when she moved asked us not to park near any of the houses because theyre all funny about it i rolled my eyes but done as she asked im able and mobile but i do think its ridiculous if they dont own the spot its free for anyone

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 28/10/2025 11:22

I know the police are up to their eyes, but I would call this harassment. It would probably send your relatives' stress levels through the roof, but I'd try to issue them with some kind of restraining order.

These fucking people that think they can bully their way to privilege- if they're that bothered they should have put in the work when they could so they could afford to live somewhere that meets their exacting requirements.

thepariscrimefiles · 28/10/2025 09:05

This reply has been deleted

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If there is no allocated parking for residents, the neighbour does not have a point. People can park anywhere there is a space.

As for your despicable comment about OP scamming a blue badge. Both she and her partner are wheelchair users.

I will be reporting your hideous ableist post.

TwinklyStork · 28/10/2025 08:59

This reply has been deleted

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So you think someone’s incorrect assumption that they own the road outside their house trumps someone else’s disability?

Clearly you think you own the road outside your house which makes you a bit intellectually impaired - do you have some kind of mental or learning disability?

Hmm1234 · 28/10/2025 08:57

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TwinklyStork · 28/10/2025 07:40

Attempt333 · 27/10/2025 22:21

There must be somewhere else to park apart from outside this particular persons house. Are you saying almost every time you go it's only this one spot that seems to be available. And you continue to park up outside their house ? Knowing this is going to cause all the drama again. No, I would stop parking outside their house. Imagine this the other way round " I am disabled and have poor mental health and I can't park outside my house because someone's relative keeps parking there" . You would 100 % say they shouldnt !!! You only see things from your own view .

Then you go through the proper channels and apply to the council to have a disabled parking bay painted outside your house.

It still doesn’t stop other blue badge users from being allowed to park there, though.

If you want guaranteed parking outside your house, buy one with parking.

changeme4this · 28/10/2025 03:55

We have an unpleasant neighbour and can understand somewhat why your relative doesn’t want to rock that boat.

however why don’t you file a complaint with the police yourself?

Whichone2024 · 28/10/2025 00:23

DuesToTheDirt · 27/10/2025 18:34

For a while we had two cars, and if we went out in the evenings (worst time for finding a space) we'd take the small one for better chance of a space when we got back!

Lol

Bunny65 · 27/10/2025 23:14

Maybe park further away and ask your relatives to come and collect you in their car as disability is an issue.

partytimed · 27/10/2025 22:38

Yes technically you’re not doing anything wrong but you know your relatives have a difficult neighbour and you know it causes them stress and anxiety and they want to keep the peace. Park somewhere else.

Attempt333 · 27/10/2025 22:21

There must be somewhere else to park apart from outside this particular persons house. Are you saying almost every time you go it's only this one spot that seems to be available. And you continue to park up outside their house ? Knowing this is going to cause all the drama again. No, I would stop parking outside their house. Imagine this the other way round " I am disabled and have poor mental health and I can't park outside my house because someone's relative keeps parking there" . You would 100 % say they shouldnt !!! You only see things from your own view .

TwinklyStork · 27/10/2025 22:07

Apocketfilledwithposies · 27/10/2025 21:43

You could literally park in front of any other house in the street. Just avoid that one knobhead's house?! Surely that's not that hard? If you are not in front of that one particular house there won't be a problem?

RTFT, for god's sake.

Lostthefairytale · 27/10/2025 21:51

My street is a bit like this. Some of the houses have drives but not all. Everyone has a space they usually use on the street and we all stick to them. Rules are all unwritten but are never broken

Apocketfilledwithposies · 27/10/2025 21:43

You could literally park in front of any other house in the street. Just avoid that one knobhead's house?! Surely that's not that hard? If you are not in front of that one particular house there won't be a problem?

TheWK · 27/10/2025 21:39

JohnofWessex · 26/10/2025 19:19

I would email the local Police and complain

You really think that the police have nothing better to do than get involved with a petty neighbour disputes?

A complete waste of police time.

HereWeGo1234 · 27/10/2025 21:39

I would be mortified if I got cross with someone who had parked outside my house and then realised they were wheelchair users. I think if I were you that I would dread going every couple of weeks if thats was what I had to endure. I’d go once a month and let them come to you / meet them halfway once a month. I know they work long hours but it’s only once a month.