Page 4 | Am I dealing with fussy eating dc wrong

Original poster

narnia2025 · 26/10/2025 18:31

I just feel so guilty giving my child plate of plain pasta and a small bowl of peas. Also likely they would eat both as wouldn’t want them to be mixed so would just have one per mealtime.

OP posts:

Original poster

narnia2025 · 26/10/2025 18:28

lljkk · 26/10/2025 18:24

Do they have milk? Or must the cereal be dry?

Do they eat any biscuits, sweets, ice cream, ice lollies or other drinks?

They are dairy free due to allergy

doesn’t like biscuits. Will have sweets but very rare as we limit it. Doesn’t like fruit juices but does have squash on occasion

OP posts:

GarlicBreadStan · 26/10/2025 18:28

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 26/10/2025 18:27

My middle child is very fussy and only eats certain food. I give him what he wants. It becomes upsetting for everyone involved otherwise. I am finding as he gets older he has started to make more choices and there is some trying of other foods. My GP told me as long as they are eating they will be fine. He’s 13 btw. Christmas dinner has become a family joke as we all tuck into a feast and he has a plate of Yorkshire puddings 🤦🏻‍♀️ but he’s happy and so are we.

To be fair, I'd love a plate of Yorkshire puddings 🤭

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 26/10/2025 18:27

My middle child is very fussy and only eats certain food. I give him what he wants. It becomes upsetting for everyone involved otherwise. I am finding as he gets older he has started to make more choices and there is some trying of other foods. My GP told me as long as they are eating they will be fine. He’s 13 btw. Christmas dinner has become a family joke as we all tuck into a feast and he has a plate of Yorkshire puddings 🤦🏻‍♀️ but he’s happy and so are we.

lljkk · 26/10/2025 18:24

Do they have milk? Or must the cereal be dry?

Do they eat any biscuits, sweets, ice cream, ice lollies or other drinks?

Thistooshallpsss · 26/10/2025 18:23

Cook his safe foods take the pressure completely off offer him a tiny try of anything he might fancy but you really can’t force children to eat. I got to this point after some horrible experiences with one of mine. Nothing changed for a long time but as an adult they eat healthy albeit they are not foodies and still like quite simple food.

GoldenRosebee · 26/10/2025 18:20

narnia2025 · 26/10/2025 18:06

I am at point where I don’t know what to do with dc.they are incredibly fussy.
this is the only foods they eat
chips- have to be straight cut, can’t have skin on
nuggets- has to be birds eye and battered
fishfingers- has to be Birds Eye
pasta- has to be penne
meatballs- can’t be any other type of meat and pasta, sauce and meatball have to separated
sausages occasionally
broccoli
peas
blueberries can’t be mixed with anyhing
bread and butter can’t be toasted
cheerios
walkers crisps- has to be ready salted

at their dads they will basically be giving exactly what they want and are giving their own dinner per request.
I cook the family a meal which has atleast one thing I know they will eat but sometimes it is mixed in.it can take up to an hour for them to eat and mostly it’s just picking. I really don’t want to just give them the same foods as their siblings eat a great varried diet so don’t want to limit them and also worry that dc will not have enough nutrition. If I give in will they just never eat a normal diet. I feel like I’m at my wits end and getting stressed every mealtime. Has any parents dealt with this level and aibu to just keep giving them what we eat in hopes they will just start eating more.

It takes around 15 to 20 times child is exposed to new food before they will start eating it.
I think learning plate where you put food they don't want to eat and then putting it next to plate of food they will eat it is best way forward. Don't give in. If they watch tv or screen while eating it will take longer before they are willing to eat new food. Turn it off.
Make sure you don't force them eating new food, because stressed children aren't hungry while stressed. You should encourage eating new food on learning plate after they had dinner (new food should be already present and they should see you eating that same food from your own plate)
don't let them fill on juices and tea, don't let them graze and wait 2.5 hours before offering food. Keep them well rested and they shouldn't be way too hungry because they can be more picky then.
you should encourage playing with food, they should smell it and taste it so they know what it is.

GarlicBreadStan · 26/10/2025 18:20

ShesTheAlbatross · 26/10/2025 18:14

How old?

I’d cook whatever I wanted, and serve them that alongside one or two things they’ll eat, always including one of their safe vegetables. Put it on their plate, not touching, and not mention it. I’d say that the new rule is that it will be put on their plate, they don’t have to eat it, and it won’t be commented on either way.

I was a very fussy eater as a child as my parents tried forcing me to eat things I didn’t want. This led to a situation when I was about 9/10 where I found mealtimes so stressful that I stopped eating all together and lost a lot of weight. Maybe this history means I’m too willing to be “soft” on restricted eating but I’d rather they ate something (especially if they’re happy to eat some fruit and veg) than I caused them a huge amount of stress over food.

100% agree with this comment. I think how you've written what you'd do, is exactly what I intend to do with my son once I get the courage up to do so (he's very prone to meltdowns when it comes to food)

Original poster

narnia2025 · 26/10/2025 18:20

ShesTheAlbatross · 26/10/2025 18:14

How old?

I’d cook whatever I wanted, and serve them that alongside one or two things they’ll eat, always including one of their safe vegetables. Put it on their plate, not touching, and not mention it. I’d say that the new rule is that it will be put on their plate, they don’t have to eat it, and it won’t be commented on either way.

I was a very fussy eater as a child as my parents tried forcing me to eat things I didn’t want. This led to a situation when I was about 9/10 where I found mealtimes so stressful that I stopped eating all together and lost a lot of weight. Maybe this history means I’m too willing to be “soft” on restricted eating but I’d rather they ate something (especially if they’re happy to eat some fruit and veg) than I caused them a huge amount of stress over food.

Sorry should have mentioned: 7

OP posts:

Moonnstars · 26/10/2025 18:19

Following with interest..I have similar struggles with one of my children.
I don't know at what point you speak to a GP, and even if they would be able to do anything!
You have my sympathy as it's so stressful.

GarlicBreadStan · 26/10/2025 18:18

PixieandMe · 26/10/2025 18:17

You’re doing the right thing. It’s what I did with my children and as young adults now they eat anything.

My MIL pandered to them as she did with her own children and guess what? They’re both grown adult fussy eaters.

The way OP is doing it is how my dad did it with me, and now I'm even fussier than I was as a kid. It's totally child dependent

PixieandMe · 26/10/2025 18:17

You’re doing the right thing. It’s what I did with my children and as young adults now they eat anything.

My MIL pandered to them as she did with her own children and guess what? They’re both grown adult fussy eaters.

ShesTheAlbatross · 26/10/2025 18:14

How old?

I’d cook whatever I wanted, and serve them that alongside one or two things they’ll eat, always including one of their safe vegetables. Put it on their plate, not touching, and not mention it. I’d say that the new rule is that it will be put on their plate, they don’t have to eat it, and it won’t be commented on either way.

I was a very fussy eater as a child as my parents tried forcing me to eat things I didn’t want. This led to a situation when I was about 9/10 where I found mealtimes so stressful that I stopped eating all together and lost a lot of weight. Maybe this history means I’m too willing to be “soft” on restricted eating but I’d rather they ate something (especially if they’re happy to eat some fruit and veg) than I caused them a huge amount of stress over food.

GarlicBreadStan · 26/10/2025 18:10

Giving my son whatever I/others eat has never worked.

I managed to get him to eat cooked food yesterday for the first time in months and even that was only garlic bread and chips. He's such a fussy eater, like me (I have sensory issues surrounding food, and he can tell when the flavour has changed or when the texture is different) and I just let him get on with it to be honest. I've found that I can sometimes gently encourage him to eat something new, but it never comes to fruition. If I force it, he has a meltdown. I'm 27 and I've just started trying new foods, so I'm hopeful that with time, my son will as well. For now, I just let it be.