Crohn’s urgent need using the cubicle with baby changing

It seems that you think people disabled by bowel issues should never go out. You clearly have no concept of what bowel issues can do and how suddenly and urgently they can flare up.

I've had IBS for most of my adult life. The onset can be immediate, with little or no warning. Then I might be normal again for days or even a couple of weeks. Then extremely urgent and caught short again. Are you really saying that I should never go out?

Bollocks to that. It's at best very ignorant and at worst discrimination.

You are obviously not being unreasonable. You have a serious illness which likely impacts your life enough to be classed as a disability and is protected by law. No reasonable person would care which toilet you used.

People shouldn't comment on other's toilet use exactly for this reason. A lot of disabilities are hidden!

I may be misunderstanding but I agree she probably wasn’t having a go at you but general frustration

if I am reading it right then the other cubicles could have been occupied as you came in ( they weren’t but they could have been) and using the cubicle with changing table would have been the only choice.

i am sorry you face such difficulties every day OP

@stichguru

what @Sirzy said.

Why should she have to do that?

As someone with IBS I gave up caring and will use disabled, men or ladies if my stupid body decides to empty itself...if I'm in disabled and come out and find a queue I have said IBS and it was an sos situation..I honestly never had any negative from this. Your need for greater than a baby at that point.

Well if it’s a troll, I’ve given them lots of fuel for their predilection 😱🤣🤣🤣

trouble is this is something that has happened to me. It makes me angry the level of ignorance that peope, including posters on MN show. Completely ignorant

So I’m never allowed out. Ever?
I won’t be able to work?
or like this lady, visit the hospital or Gp?
or to do a few simple things in life socially outside the house (since I can’t work)?
how am I supposed to go shopping for food? Everything thing has to be delivered?
I can never travel anywhere? Not even to see my dc who live 100 and 200 miles away respectively? Never mind nay of my other relatives?
or visit any friends?

really?

I hope to god you never developed one of the many gastrointestinal conditions or even gynaecology issues that lead to an absolute need to use a loo immediately.

as I already pointed out to another poster, you really really don’t want to be standing by me when I get a totally unpredicted attack because “I should only be out if I’m able to wait” and I have unfortunately had to leave my house.sometime in my life.

I am not going to be on a toilet leash inside my house for the rest of my life, for the, thankfully, rare occasions it does now happen, since being diagnosed after many many years, and being prescribed appropriate meds that usually work well. Not for ignorant people like you. Thankfully the world is full of people who have empathy and can identify distress when they see it and let you jump a queue. Or we have got medical cards, as recommended by bowel condition support groups, that we can show that state our needs and people have sense to respond appropriately.

Do you wear a pad for faecal incontinence? All day every day “in case” you need it? Is this what you are advocating to 100s of 1000 of suffers with bowel conditions that have sudden flair ups that can’t be predicated. We all walk around with nappies on?

you dont sound like someone whose ever had to deal with faecal incontinence of the diarrhea type..no nappy or pad is going to hold that in.

yep, I wear pads for urge and stress urinary incontinence as many women do when they get to menopause unfortunately. Yep, I can make sure I go to loo when I see one, and ensure I don’t wait till it’s too late. For a pee.

But many bowel conditions it isn’t same thing. Think periods. No control or with minutes warning. I have been caught out in ways that have been embarrassing humiliating and distressing. Believe me, for everyone sakes, this takes precedence over urinary leakage

I for one won’t be donning nappy and leaving the house…people would see that bulk in by trousers etc. and it be restrictive and uncomfortable to walk in . You’re expecting people to go into work like that?

And do you really want to stand in a loo queue beside me also waiting when I am doubling over in pain, defecating diarrhea and vomitting even if I’m wearing a nappy?

really , your response is just lacking any real insight into how horrendous these conditions can be

And, before you answer, I waited 12 years to get a diagnoses …whilst I vents like these are now rare since taking meds, many people are struggling to get diagnoses and treatment. No chance of any access to disabled toilets without a diagnosis.

Then equally, her expressing irritation that the baby change wasn't available is not the same as "having a go at you".

You weren't in the wrong but this is also such a non-issue.

Because the woman isn't psychic. So what might look like selfish, thoughtless behaviour had a good reason; the OP really couldn't wait. Same way if I need to skip a toilet queue I politely explain that I'm terribly, it's an emergency, could I possibly skip ahead. If we don't communicate our needs to other people how are they supposed to understand them?

This.
as someone with BAM it’d be a bloody site less embarrassing and horrific if I was wearing nappy at point I had an attack.
i go around with whole set of clean clothes, a collapsible bowl, wet wipes and god knows what if I’m out and don’t know I can’t get to toilet as and when I might just need it within minutes.

I have a toilet leash in effect that affects my life.

yep, babies can’t sit in dirty nappies for a long time , but an extra 15 mins doesn’t make much difference to most as a one off.

this is purely about parents putting their needs above those of anyone else.

ignore. You don’t have to explain. It’s literally tough shit 😱🙄🤣

YABU because having a minor non directed grumble about the change station being occupied is NOT having a go at you.

Also, just because you heard her talking to a man doesn't mean he was the father!

Why should OP?! She isn’t the toilet police

If all she said is ‘ugh no baby change’ then I think you’re being over sensitive. Also stop with the judgement of her husband not changing the nappy.

But you’re obviously within your right to use whatever cubicle you want.

No I'm saying it is up to them to organise themselves to wait for the loo. Even in a world where

1. EVERYWHERE that public toilets, had a baby change separate from the disabled loo.
2. No-one who could do what they needed to in a standard toilet ever used the disabled one.

You’re overthinking it, all she did was say she was annoyed as there was no baby change. If you were in the cubicle she didn’t have a go at you.

Not sure if you have DCs but my DS is 18 months, walking and if he’s had a poo I need to lay him down to change him, by the way.

Except that according to the update the poor woman just explained “ahh no baby change” lol

op I have a sister who has crohns so massively sympathise but is it possible you’ve read too much into it? Sounds like she was just moaning about crap facilities

Sure they do. 🙄

Always get one what?

What you heard was a woman just expressing an opinion of there being no baby change, which is nothing like and far from having a go at you.

Had she of had a go at you face to face then yes, you may of had a point to your post.

To suggest that she could have changed a toddlers nappy while they were standing is an odd thing to think, you've no idea whether the nappy was just wet or full of poo.