Page 2 | 32 yo sister just told us she is dating a 57 yo!

Plutowe · 2025-10-26T13:39:32+00:00

We are all really quite horrified Sister is a beautiful, grammar school/oxbridge student. She really has a lot going for her. Sister recently broke it to us that she is in a relationship with a 57 yo. Ive seen pics and don’t get me wrong he’s done very well for himself professionally but we’re not talking billionaire or anything close. It’s not a gold digging situation. He’s handsome and fit. Probably was quite a catch….10 or 20 years ago. Sister has had a tough few years and I genuinely think she is just lonely. My sister would never date anyone who didn’t want children so I can only assume that’s something they’re considering. I obviously know it’s sister’s life to live but I genuinely think this relationship is a manifestation of her not being that happy. Her engagement ended very abruptly a week before the wedding due to groom’s infidelity. How can I help sister?

cloudtreecarpet · 27/10/2025 19:51

Yamamm · 27/10/2025 19:46

Imagine asking him if he thinks a 25 year gap is OK whether he’ll be up for dating an 82 yr old woman. That might make him think!

True enough!
No doubt someone will be on in a minute to say they know a man who did just that and they are the happiest couple in the world. 🙄

Yamamm · 27/10/2025 19:46

Imagine asking him if he thinks a 25 year gap is OK whether he’ll be up for dating an 82 yr old woman. That might make him think!

SunnySideDeepDown · 27/10/2025 19:30

It’s her choice. But she’ll be committing herself to a retirement on her own. When she’s 50, he’ll be 75, likely with a whole host of health issues.

anterenea · 27/10/2025 19:10

ainsleysanob · 27/10/2025 15:42

My husband had ‘shitty sperm’ at 25 due to a fuck up by the national health service during an operation when he was 2. So, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

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Well his age obviously! A 57 year old man will have shitty sperm, there is no doubt about it

Barneysmomma · 27/10/2025 17:28

Be very careful how you speak to your sister about this OP. She's 32 so plenty old enough to make her own decisions without interference no matter how well intentioned they may be.
At 43 I started a relationship with a 59 year old man. My older brother went ballistic (mainly because I have no children so he'd assumed I would be leaving his children everything) and, long story short, we're now NC. Reader, I married him.

PinkPanther57 · 27/10/2025 17:18

Plutowe · 27/10/2025 16:14

Yes she has always wanted to be a mum. Was thinking about adoption not too long ago but decided she needed to wait until she was in a happier place.

Bf has never married or had kids

Sister will definitely have thought about his old sperm.

Edited

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The most incredible, enviable kids - now in 20s & thriving think Oxbridge/Ivy League & successful, happy & contented lives - had a Dad with ‘old sperm’. He was also loving & stable influence & is & remains a brilliant & loving husband & father.

Trunnyl · 27/10/2025 17:01

notacooldad · 27/10/2025 15:52

Interesting perspectives on this thread.
It is just about the same gap between my sister and her husband.
Her husband knows the same people that mum and dad did when they were young.
People said the same about my sister, she was well educated, she had a fantastic career in law etc and that she would end up as his carer. However my sister is 58 and seriously ill with cancer. Her 84 year old dh is doing an amazing job of looking after her, keeping their large house immaculate, making sure my sister is clean and groomed. He has learned to do her hair and how she likes her make up fone on days when she struggled to do it. All the naysayers never foresaw this turn of events. Dh absolutely fires her and they have been together since she was about 24 or 25.
Im not saying its going to work in ever case but there are success stories.

All ths best wishes in the world for your sister ❤️

Trunnyl · 27/10/2025 16:59

Plutowe · 27/10/2025 16:14

Yes she has always wanted to be a mum. Was thinking about adoption not too long ago but decided she needed to wait until she was in a happier place.

Bf has never married or had kids

Sister will definitely have thought about his old sperm.

Edited

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I no don’t think his sperm’s even old!

but I appreciate that’s me, and opinions massively differ on a topic like this

Trunnyl · 27/10/2025 16:56

Mrsnothingthanks · 27/10/2025 16:20

@Plutowe The age of his sperm wouldn't concern me if I was your sister as obviously men can still get women pregnant at his age. But more over wouldn't it be selfish of him to have a baby at such an age?
It would also be a red flag to me that he has never been married at his age before (if marriage is something your sister wants).

Edited

I think if he had a baby he would definitely be likely to see the child into adulthood etc so I don’t think it’s selfish but - I appreciate opinions differ massively on this matter

Trunnyl · 27/10/2025 16:55

ChikinLikin · 27/10/2025 15:41

Owning a dental practice is more than comfortable in my book.
He and his aged sperm are too old for her ... but what can you do? It's her choice and maybe they will have great sex, lots of fun and he will boost her confidence.

No one born in 1968 has aged sperm !!!!

Mrsnothingthanks · 27/10/2025 16:20

@Plutowe The age of his sperm wouldn't concern me if I was your sister as obviously men can still get women pregnant at his age. But more over wouldn't it be selfish of him to have a baby at such an age?
It would also be a red flag to me that he has never been married at his age before (if marriage is something your sister wants).

Tessasanderson · 27/10/2025 16:17

At 32 she is more than old enough to make a consenting decision about who she does and doesnt want in her life. So far you havent come across as being much of a positive influence for her.

What on earth has it got to do with you to judge this relationship. You might drop down dead tomorrow. She might have the next 40 years together with this man. Why judge her relationship based on nothing more than two adults enjoying each others company.

This is horrible

Original poster

Plutowe · 27/10/2025 16:14

Mrsnothingthanks · 27/10/2025 16:03

Do you think your sister will want children at any point, OP? Has he already got kids? IMO he's too old to have any more (I mean morally).

Edited

Yes she has always wanted to be a mum. Was thinking about adoption not too long ago but decided she needed to wait until she was in a happier place.

Bf has never married or had kids

Sister will definitely have thought about his old sperm.

OP posts:

Mrsnothingthanks · 27/10/2025 16:03

Do you think your sister will want children at any point, OP? Has he already got kids? IMO he's too old to have any more (I mean morally).

notacooldad · 27/10/2025 15:52

Interesting perspectives on this thread.
It is just about the same gap between my sister and her husband.
Her husband knows the same people that mum and dad did when they were young.
People said the same about my sister, she was well educated, she had a fantastic career in law etc and that she would end up as his carer. However my sister is 58 and seriously ill with cancer. Her 84 year old dh is doing an amazing job of looking after her, keeping their large house immaculate, making sure my sister is clean and groomed. He has learned to do her hair and how she likes her make up fone on days when she struggled to do it. All the naysayers never foresaw this turn of events. Dh absolutely fires her and they have been together since she was about 24 or 25.
Im not saying its going to work in ever case but there are success stories.

missingse3 · 27/10/2025 15:44

My ex dated a 40 year old at 16 for 4 years. Her mother moved him in also that same year and thought it was fine. weird bunch

Consider this situation better

ainsleysanob · 27/10/2025 15:42

anterenea · 26/10/2025 15:00

Well I'll be blunt but at 57 he'll have shitty sperm

My husband had ‘shitty sperm’ at 25 due to a fuck up by the national health service during an operation when he was 2. So, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

ChikinLikin · 27/10/2025 15:41

Owning a dental practice is more than comfortable in my book.
He and his aged sperm are too old for her ... but what can you do? It's her choice and maybe they will have great sex, lots of fun and he will boost her confidence.

notatinydancer · 27/10/2025 15:35

Plutowe · 27/10/2025 14:26

He’s comfortable. Not mega rich. Owns a dental practice.

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How do you know how much money he has?

Netcurtainnelly · 27/10/2025 14:49

Shocking Post. Mind your own Business.

Wishimaywishimight · 27/10/2025 14:49

You lost any sympathy I might have had by calling a 57 year old "an old bloke" (I am 56) also by, helpfully pointing out that, in 10years, he will be 67 😂.

Original poster

Plutowe · 27/10/2025 14:26

AbsentosaurusRex · 27/10/2025 13:49

Hopefully he’s loaded. Your sister is also doing well. She could regret it in 20yrs when he needs her as his carer, but if she loves him it won’t be an issue. Let them get on with it!

Edited

He’s comfortable. Not mega rich. Owns a dental practice.

OP posts:

EuclidianGeometryFan · 27/10/2025 14:21

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 26/10/2025 14:18

I think it's unlikely she needs your help, she sounds quite capable 😁 so do avoid butting in and being annoying.

She will realise that such a large gap isn't wise long term and it will likely not last too long. IF she asks your opinion there is nothing wrong with pointing this reality out - although the chances of him wanting to start a family at 60 are also slim.

If she does decide to throw caution to the wind and marry and have children with him, then you could reasonably ask her, once, if she's 100% about it, given the chances of ending up a carer, before she walks down the isle. But they both sound v solvent which helps greatly with all problems, so I wouldn't worry too much.

This.
Mention it, once, if she announces an engagement.
Otherwise, bite your tongue.

AbsentosaurusRex · 27/10/2025 13:49

Hopefully he’s loaded. Your sister is also doing well. She could regret it in 20yrs when he needs her as his carer, but if she loves him it won’t be an issue. Let them get on with it!

BruFord · 27/10/2025 13:38

IMO, wanting to have children is the main drawback to this age gap, because even if they conceived tomorrow, he’d be 58 when the baby is born. Whatever anyone says, having a teenager in your 70’s will be hard unless they’re wealthy enough to not need two incomes. Which they might be. 🤷