To be furious about this?

You're actually moaning about being told to wave at a friend nearly 40 years ago? You sound like Danielle Muscato!

How is Anna now?

I think Anna could have done with hanging out with someone much nicer than you OP.
The fact you're still raging about having to hang out with this poor girl all these years on says you're not very pleasant.

Your mum was alcoholic. She pushed you having a secure friend and go to a nicer richer home.

Have you had other friends too or

Hmm, I feel a bit sorry for poor old Anna Taylor, op. She probably wasn’t happy either. Don’t know why you didn’t say I don’t like her, or just ditched her as soon as the two of you were out at the cinema or whatever? You do seem disproportionately angry about this, is it more about loss of control, unhappiness as a child in general, etc. Either way, I would look to discuss this with a third party who would help you unpick things a bit.

No I get it. Different but I was forced to babysit for people at 13,14 for friends of my
mum and I couldn’t stand the kids, absolute brats. Plus one of them was married to an Indian man, the house literally stank of cooking oil and spices and it turned my stomach and would
leave me stinking of it, and baths weren’t a daily normal thing yet, that was a Sunday thing back in the day so I was always scared I was stinking too. Then one of the pervy dads tried it on with me age 15 and I managed to get him away but I’ve grudged my mum putting me in this position ever since just so they can go to the bingo.

You weren't being unreasonable then
But now you're an adult, get over it

Sounds like they thought you both needed a friend. Perhaps your parents thought she'd be a good influence and ease you into doing more common activities for a teenager like going to the cinema with friends.
Maybe her mum knew about the issues you had at home with your mum and was encouraging the friendship for that reason.

Sounds like it was an excuse to get you out of the house because they were aware of how awful your home life situation with your alcoholic mother was.

You probably associate the friendship with the time in your life where you were realising that your parents were letting you down and that is why you have the misplaced upset about it. It’s easier to put your feelings on an outside force than on your parents.

Has something happened to you recently op for you to feel like this now?
On the face of it your parents sound like they were trying to make sure you weren’t lonely being an only child. Your reaction does seem extreme for your situation you have described.
You’ve said your DM was an abusive alcoholic, how has this shaped your adult life?
When I was a child yes I had to spend time with children who were children of my DP’s friends. We weren’t friends as such but doing things with them wasn’t traumatic and I certainly don’t feel violated 40 years later which makes me think there is something bigger at play here

My parents forced me to to go out with our fucking creep of a neighbour when I was 14 and he was 38! You think you were violated?

The OPs gender didn't actually occur to me, why should it. I'd make the same comment if the poster was obviously male 🤷‍♀️ Did the poster never actually communicate with her parents about why they were so invested in this relationship?

Wow, clearly you have a lot going on in your head, and I think you are just looking for things to obsess about to be angry at your parents.

Your attitude to this relationship is a bit odd, could you be showing autistic traits?

Anyway, YABU, your real issue is your parents and if you are still this level of furious 40 years later then some professional counselling might be what you need.

None of this is about Anna, that’s just a symptom of a much bigger issue. I hope you’re ok OP. XX

This xx

This period in your life clearly still bothers you, so you're not being unreasonable to share it with others, just to get it out there.

When I was younger, my parents sent me to Girl Guides and Drama Group because i was shy and they thought I'd make more friends outside school. Being shy is entirely the reason I hated both activities, and I felt angry that I wasn't in a position to refuse. But your situation is different because your parents focused on you developing a relationship with a specific child.

I'd want to know why it was so important to them. Why her? Was there a connection between her and your parents that they never talked about? Perhaps your mum went to her father for medical treatment (for her alcoholism), and they kept it from you, and the price was you had to be friends with their daughter?

Obviously a lot of time has passed since then, but bad memories still pop up and remind us of events and situations where we felt hurt and angry, especially if we weren't in control at the time. Of course we know we can't go back in time and change things, but there is no harm in writing out your feelings.

😦😦😦😦

53?????
Dude... channel your inner Eliza and let it go....

I think you are getting your relationship with your alcoholic and abusive mother confused with how your relationship with Anna developed.

Try to separate out the two which will then give you a basis on which to start working on the important failed relationship in your childhood, the one with your mother. Maybe start with a big sheet of paper for your mum and write down all the negative thoughts, negative incidents, negative language you associate with her . What emotions do you feel, what upsets you most, what words are you using to describe your feelings as you read the sheet. Write down your own feelings, ones you felt then, how you feel now, on the sheet.

When you have sorted out your feelings about your mother you will be in a better place to think about the Anna friendship and how it affected you.

Me too! Or worse!

I totally understand your feelings. I have been a wet blanket until very recently and if I look back at my childhood, I would have done ANYTHING my parents told me to do, unquestionably.

Hoe many meetimgs with Anna did you have to endure?
Did you ever say no, you had something else to do at the time? Was you quite insular?
At secondary, I just walked out the door and hung out with whoever I wanted. But there were a few family friends where we would visit them and they had kids the same age but it was like 4 times a year.
How was your social life outside of this girl?

You are being ridiculous, not unreasonable!

sorry wrong thread can’t delete

Further to my previous post

Unless there have been repeated instances of any behaviour that falls under the umbrella of bullying behaviour, I do not think this situation can be labelled as bullying

Showing you have reflected on this and in the moment maybe didn’t respond professionally may help to taking a step forwards for yourself - how the ranty person is addressed is another matter

It's quite likely that your parents were aware of their failings on some level.and looked up to this girl's family.

If that is the case, they they were hoping some of her 'better' family aspects would.rub off on you as aspirations. Ie they didn't want you to replicate your own lifestyle growing up and hoped that you'd benefit from being exposed to hers in some way.

Either post the links to the threads or stop trying to discredit the OP. Op hasn’t posted any other threads that I can see.

Ok yes… but so what? You’re not friends now and life moves on. What does dredging this up serve? Apart from maybe understanding current compliance / unhealthy relationships