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Original poster

To pay or not to pay for everyone’s dinner if I invite them out for my 50th?

660 replies

tricerotopsrule · 25/10/2025 22:48

I was thinking of inviting around 15 pals out for dinner to a nice restaurant to mark my 50th birthday. Normally for ‘normal’ birthdays for mine or others we have all paid for our own meal. But given this is a big birthday I wondered if I should pay for everyone? When I’ve been out for other big birthdays sometimes folk have paid for everyone and other times people pay for themselves.

What’s the norm?? WWYD?

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 25/10/2025 22:53

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 25/10/2025 22:52

They pay..

You need to make it clear when you invite them.

Why?

AgentPidge · 25/10/2025 22:52

A party at your home or a hall, you pay. But at a restaurant, everyone pays for themselves, in fact IMO it would be normal for everyone to cover the birthday girls' meal. I would certainly not expect someone to pay for 15 people in a restaurant. That's ridiculous. You could put some wine on the table though.

InterestQ · 25/10/2025 22:52

I agree you invite you pay.

It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive per head - local pub with good atmosphere or whatever and pre-decided wines / beers but don’t get people to end up budgeting and worrying about it.

Or do a party at your house or village hall if cheaper. Booze cruise for French fizz on the cheap, Aldi party food and a big chilli if eating.

PucaBandearg · 25/10/2025 22:52

I paid for food and some wine/ water for the table, if they wanted more than that to drink they paid themselves.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/10/2025 22:52

I don’t think there are any hard and fast rules. The trick is being upfront when inviting so there are no surprises.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 25/10/2025 22:52

They pay..

You need to make it clear when you invite them.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 25/10/2025 22:51

Id pay for everyone but if you can't you need to make it very clear in your invite. If you expect people to pay for themselves then also make it very clear that no presents are expected

MumChp · 25/10/2025 22:50

You pay.

47andahalf · 25/10/2025 22:50

I'd pay for all. If you can't / don't want to, then that's fine though so long as you make it very clear when inviting ppl

Happy birthday.

Nsky62 · 25/10/2025 22:49

You invite you pay

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