To pay or not to pay for everyone’s dinner if I invite them out for my 50th?

Why?
It’s OP’s occasion.

Why not? That's completely normal in my circle because no one is wealthy and can afford to pay for dinner for everyone and we'd never go out for dinner otherwise because it's for birthdays etc only as a treat.

How unpleasant and entitled

So don’t arrange a dinner.

I think if you decide to pay you should pay in advance for say , set meal and wine for the table . Otherwise you may have a situation where someone wants to pay for you because it’s your birthday , and others aren’t expecting to / can’t afford to or whatever. The embarrassing thing would be for one guest to want to pay and end up paying for everyone who doesn’t/cant . If there are 15 of you the restaurant would probably appreciate a pre order anyway.

And that is what happens in my circle. I don't "send out invitations" when I ask friends to join me for a birthday meal in a restaurant. I just discuss it with them informally, and we discuss where to go among ourselves.

Who sends out formal invites for a meal?!
In my experience it’s a WhatsApp message saying ‘ I’m planning on going to x on y date for my birthday, let me know if you fancy it so I can book a table’.

Nobody is being forced to attend.
If you got the above message would you only attend if they were paying for you?
Are you only allowed to have a preference on where you’d like to eat on your birthday if you’re wealthy?

Yes, but they shouldn't choose a venue and date and send out invites. They should discuss where/when to go with everyone.

I would expect to pay if invited to a meal. I would expect it to be a reasonably priced place though and to choose my own food.
If you wanted to pay for something I might do shared starters for the table or dessert.

I've never been to a birthday meal where I haven't paid myself. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for my meal just because they've invited me for their birthday.

No one I know would be able to afford that.

The privileged just have no idea. Do they.

So poor people and those with small houses don’t ever celebrate their birthday??

Yes that makes sense.

Why of course? Have you not read the many posts as to why people can't or don't pay? Or why they can't host at home?

Does it not depend on what is customary among your friendship group?

Does it mean that if you don't have a lot of money you can't celebrate your birthday with like minded friends?

Of course you pay. Or host at home?

Top tip OP
If you don't plan to paying for everyone, make it clear when inviting.
If you do plan on paying for everyone, don't tell them in advance, leave them to think they might be paying. Just pay the bill when it comes so people don't take the piss.

Me too

There is a huge difference between arranging a night out with friends to celebrate your birthday, where you all get to choose the date and venue, and organising an event which you invite people to.

And this is exactly what my frirnds and I do.

Is it a set menu or a la carte? I wouldn’t pay if it’s a la carte as you don’t know what the full bill will look like. I paid for a party of 11 at my sons 21st but it was a set menu and I advised people they would have for their own drinks

Totally depends on your circle. I have a few very comfortable friends who would pay for everyone for a big celebration, but lots of others for whom everyone would pay for themselves and not bat an eyelid. I would never accept an invite if I wasn’t prepared to pay for myself, it’s just a nice surprise on the day if the host covers it.

There is a huge difference between arranging a night out with friends to celebrate your birthday, where you all get to choose the date and venue, and organising an event which you invite people to.

So, for my most recent big birthday, I invited a load of people to afternoon tea. I chose the date, the venue and good and I sent out nice, card invitations. I had decorations on the tables and an open bar. And I paid for this.

But I also got together with a group of 5 friends where we all discussed it in a WhatsApp group, chose a venue and date that suited us all, and I didn't pay for anyone but me.

Imo if you make it an invitation to your party then you pay. If you suggest a less formal get together you don't.

If you are a guest and not paying then you take a decent present. If you are paying you can be less generous with the present.

OMG, of course it isn't a given that you pay.

Read the room.

OMG... no because YOU pay doesn't mean everyone should do what you do.

A meal in a restaurant isn’t the same as a wedding.
And if you read the whole thread you can see it’s not just a case of you pay… lots of people wouldn’t expect the birthday girl/boy to pay.

Not everyone can afford to foot the whole bill 🙄 a concept which is obviously lost on many people.

Omg of course you pay! I wouldn’t even mention you were footing the bill, in the same way you wouldn’t ask people to bring cash for a meal at a wedding!