To be ill AND have a nice, tidy home

Being ill & hospitalised isn't a drama so please speak to your ex & explain what's been happening & that you're struggling a bit. Ask if they're able to have the kids a bit extra so you can take your time tidying the house without the added pressure of caring for the kids during half term. Do a little bit of tidying in one room at a time. Don't over do it though & try to have an immaculate house. Once you're feeling better you'll be able to get back on top of the cleaning etc & won't feel so over whelmed.

How old are your DC? Once mine were school age, I often found it was easier to have other children over as it kept mine entertained. Reach out and ask. If you feel bad about it and have time off over the school Xmas hols, say you can repay the favour then. When my DC were primary age, in my friendship group we’d often put the odd shout out for help and someone would always offer. Even if it’s just for a couple of hours, you can have a nap. Or just get slightly more on top of the domestic stuff. I’ve also done it for people I don’t know that week but whose DC have been in the same class as mine at school and who I happened to bump into.

Sorry to hear you have been so unwell OP.
I recently got pretty poorly. Already have chronic pain but additional illness and the house and laundry quickly descended!

For laundry in the end I actually used a launderette. It was really helpful because it just got it done being able to put it in a giant machine. It wasn't the cheapest option especially as tumble dried some of it but it worked to clear the worst of the laundry.

Just a quick thought :)

@Incomingwinter try to do one job, then rest for 30 mins. Job 2 and rest. Perhaps 3 jobs done for mid afternoon. Then another two done the same way in the evening.
I'm really bad at asking for help, even when I'm very ill.
Postpone the holiday. The kids will survive one ht with home based activities.
You will end up being more ill and for longer if you continue as you are.

At times like this you need to reach out for help to your most trusted. Explain and ask if they have a couple of hours to help, offer to get a takeaway/get a thank you present in advance. It's true a friend in need is a friend indeed. If any of my true friends asked me i would prioritise them and be more than happy to help.

Same for me, when I needed help to just be available if was needed at the hospital urgently, I asked a couple of good friends and their response was tearfully overwhelming. They would have come in the early hours if needed, wasn't the case but they would have.

Please ask for support. Xxx

I find it easier to tidy by category. So everything made of fabric gets taken upstairs and put on the relevant beds and then sorted. Put away anything that doesn’t need washing and the rest straight into the machine. Do not iron (this week, at least). If you have a tumble drier, do a wash of tumbleable clothing and make the kids sort their own socks and pants out.

Then make a brew and gather up everything made of paper. Sort through, recycle most of it, be ruthless, and make a to do pile of admin. Look at it tomorrow over another cuppa.

Just seen you’re going on holiday. Please sort the kitchen before then or you’ll just be depressed when you get home.

Where are you going? Do you have clothes sorted for that?

It sounds like their father needs to take the DC for a week or two. They're his kids; it's not a "favour".

Can you afford a cleaner, even just for a few hours once a week, for a few weeks?

Failing that, maybe get the kids doing chores? Use a laundry service?

Do only what needs to be done. Ask your village to do a load of washing each and maybe cook a healthy meal for your dc

I got really poorly back at the beginning of 2020 , probably covid ..anyway I was shattered .
My usual jobs didn’t get done , I was at home and it took about 6/7 weeks to feel anything like normal .
I prioritised the dishwasher being loaded and unloaded plus things put away .
I wiped down the kitchen surfaces and got worst of any mess off the floors .
I made very plain and simple meals or got really decent ready meals and prepped veg / salad.
I kept up with the laundry but of course didn’t iron things .
I regularly changed pillowcases but left the sheets etc for at least 2 weeks before changing them .
i cleaned the loos that was it ..

When I was ill previously, I wrote a list of “essentials” then did one thing and then scheduled in an hour rest/nap.
ie wipe round bathroom. Lie on sofa for 30 mins.
of course depends on your level of illness/how you’re currently feeling but factoring in rests/prioritising should help

Can you get a cleaner in while you’re away?

You're amazing, being able to crack on with all this stuff when you've been so poorly and so overwhelmed by the tasks is inspirational. Well done. I hope that you have managed to get a restful night, and that you feel better soon.

The weather looks like it is nicer today (hopefully the same where you are), so maybe clothes can go out on the line (if you have a garden).

Some of the PP's have posted fab ideas. I used to do the tidy up game with my kids, and also "bob a job" - 10p per job/chore. Also used to set a timer and see who could get most things tidied and put away, or who could do the most chores in a set time. We still do that sometimes (and they're 12 and 19!).

Literally just do the essentials. Washing, basic wiping down, feeding the kids and clearing dishes away. That’s it. Washing windows, mopping floors, any of that shit will just have to wait. It won’t kill anyone.

Also if you are too unwell to be doing housework are you well enough to take dc on holiday? Just thinking if it would be better for you to rest at home? Do you feel able to go or are you doing it for the dc?

Seriously, find a local cleaner for an emergency clean on Monday.

You sound like you are doing brilliantly @Incomingwinter

I know you are trying to get ready before your holiday, but if you are going to be ill, going forward, Diane in Denmark on Youtube has some great advice on routines for when life's challenges take over. Really down to earth lady.

Eg at the top of every hour, set a timer for 2 or 5 or 10 minutes or whatever you can manage, do what you can then, and as soon as timer is up, go back to bed, rest up etc, then at the next hour, set the timer again for another 2 mins or whatever before resting again.

The other thing is setting a 2 minute PUPA timer every evening (or whenever) which the children can join in (Pick Up and Put Away). Make it like a game.

I hope you have a lovely holiday and get well soon. :)

Can you send some washing out? I use Laundryheap when my back is against the wall - they pick up and drop back.

really hope you feel better soon. I'd second asking your mates. If you were my friend, I'd gladly take in washing to do, just to help you get back on track. Or do some cooking and cleaning. Otherwise, is there a laundrette near to you? Would it be feasible to go there tomorrow with a book and a flask of hot drink and get a mass load of laundry done in one go?

Parenting his own children is not a 'favour' it's an obligation.

Years ago an overworked mother I knew gave herself a week off on a regular basis. Everyone wore clothes they were soon to ditch, ready/pre-prepared meals were eaten, porthole hoovering took place only if necessary and dust was ignored. Sound good?
Paper plates and disposable cutlery won’t harm anyone on a holiday which could benefit you all.

May the ABs kick in soon.

Can you afford a one off cleaner visit?