I have a group of friends, all women in their late 20s/early 30s. We maybe meet up about 4 times a year. Sometimes husbands and partners will join if they're around and sometimes not. It is usually around 6 -8 people can make each one, someone throws out a date if you can make it fab if not then you catch the next one, there's usually very little drama, until Lucy.
Two of the couples have one child each, Martin and Angela have a DD we'll call Lucy and John and Linda have a DD we'll call Kate. No one else has children.
For our most recent meets, Martin and Angela have insisted on bringing Lucy, while John will either stay home with Kate or they'll get a babysitter. It's reached a stage where if someone suggests a dinner, Angela will say no it has to be lunch for Lucy and Martin to join. If someone suggests going for a drink on only a days notice, we're told oh that's not child friendly.
Lucy is two, and while her dad / Angela's partner is a nice man he's only in the friend group because he's with Angela, no one has a relationship with him outside of this, some feel he should stay home if they can't get a sitter. Anyway, people are getting annoyed that they are forcing their way all the time and it means plans don't get followed up on because we don't want to hang out with a 2 year old we want grown up time.
They won't take any hints and seem to think the world revolves around their little girl. Is there a way to phrase sorry this occassion is for adults only without being rude?
Am I/the rest of the group unreasonable to not want to spend our limited time together and adult catch ups with Lucy?
I think Kate's parents are most annoyed as they arrange care because because they want an adult night out with mostly child free friends,c if they cant Kate's dad stays home and they feel Lucy's parents should do the same.
AIBU?