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AIBU?

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Original poster

Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

238 replies

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:20

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

OP posts:
QueenofDestruction · 25/10/2025 17:35

Inertia · 25/10/2025 16:55

This is madness. How did they even know you'd be in?

If my kids did this it would be absolutely fine because this is always their home, but I can't imagine anyone turning up and just demanding to stay.

Once I moved out of the home I would have not done that to my parents and would not accept my stepchildren doing that to me unless it's an emergency

MrsTrellisOgleddCymru · 25/10/2025 17:34

Just tell them that you’ve planned stuff to do, and that it’s very inconvenient that they didn’t even check to see if it was ok to come. Then send them packing. They haven’t far to go. Use your voice! Don’t be such a wet lettuce

FortnumsWeddingBreakfastTeaPlease · 25/10/2025 17:31

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

So use your voice and tell them to go?? They live an hour away. Why are they staying over?

Cherrysoup · 25/10/2025 17:30

What the actual?! Who does that, particularly when they only live an hour away? I’d be furious!

suburberphobe · 25/10/2025 17:28

What happened OP that you can't just go out/say it's not convenient/you have plans for the weekend....?

Do they usually walk over you?

They sound awful.

Time to put your "Big girl pants on" as they say here.

Good luck.

Thank them for making you realise you will not be available without prior notice.

You deserve your own weekend time too,

FullOfLemons · 25/10/2025 17:24

Tell them you have norovirus

liquoricetorpedoes · 25/10/2025 17:23

I sympathise OP, it’s just the thing my Mum used to do- I remember as a child rocking up one night at my grandparents- we lived about 100 miles away. My Mum and Dad just walked in and said ‘surprise, we’ve come for the weekend’. They then went out to a friends house- again turning up unannounced and left me with grandma.
when I grew up and had a home with my husband my Mum did it to us a couple of times- I just thought it was normal but my husband wasn‘t pleased and told her- she still thinks he’s very rude 20 odd years later!

TitsInAbsentia · 25/10/2025 17:22

Flip me...turning up for a cup of tea fine, turning up for an overnighter NO NO NO!

Allmarbleslost · 25/10/2025 17:20

My PIL did this once many years ago, only from 200 miles away. They thought it would be a lovely surprise. They never did it again.

Ilovepastafortea · 25/10/2025 17:19

I would never turn up to anyone's house (even our DCs) without calling first. There have been times when we've found ourselves within easy driving distance of a friend or relative, but would call first to say that we're here & would it be convenient to pop in for a cuppa, always saying that we realise that they probably have other plans wouldn't take it amiss if it wasn't convenient.

So rude to just wash up on someone's doorstep without warning. I feel for you OP.

Mumof2heroes · 25/10/2025 17:18

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

How rude of them! Did you have to let them in? You could have offered them a cuppa then told them you were going out in a bit.

AliceMaforethought · 25/10/2025 17:18

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

Tell them to clear off.

MorningFresh · 25/10/2025 17:18

What good timing, OP.
They can help you sort your bed bug infestation can't they. 🤿

PinkyFlamingo · 25/10/2025 17:17

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

Well say so then!

curious79 · 25/10/2025 17:16

book yourself into a hotel and disappear if need be. That is beyond rude and thoughtless. I guess they think it's a nice surprise

jessty · 25/10/2025 17:15

How rude? Who are these people? Your family or other half? They obviously feel very close to you if they can do this. Bizarre.

Skybluepinky · 25/10/2025 17:14

Oh no, make it clear they need to wait to be invited.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 25/10/2025 17:13

Yanbu at all! I would absolutely hate this.

What did they say when they just turned up? I’d have had to say “you should have let us know you were planning to come as we can’t really have visitors this weekend”.

Purplecatshopaholic · 25/10/2025 17:11

60 miles is perfectly travel-able, overnight stay not required. Total cheeky sods imo. I’d be saying you have plans, and next time you’d love to see them, but let’s agree plans in advance.

ttcat37 · 25/10/2025 17:10

I don’t understand how or why anybody would not just say “oh I’m sorry no you can’t stay!”
It’s 60 miles, so an hour’s journey? Fuck ‘em off! Rude bastards!

petermaddog · 25/10/2025 17:09

dont let them in

TwistedWonder · 25/10/2025 17:05

It’s VVVVVVVVVVVVVVU and rude to turn up uninvited with no warning.

I wouldn’t have opened the door

DiscoBob · 25/10/2025 17:04

I'd just tell them they can stay for a cup of tea but you're going out in an hour and won't be back until Sunday night. Shame really be if you don't bother giving us any warning you can't expect us to be free!

Then if necessary I'd start moving towards the car or saying I'm going to walk to the train station now if they don't leave! I wouldn't care if I had to drive round or walk for no reason just to get rid of them!

Ughhhhh77 · 25/10/2025 17:04

I love socialising but people turning up unannounced for a weekend would make me furious. I hope they leave asap OP!

MyAcornWood · 25/10/2025 17:04

To stay?! I don’t mind an unannounced visit for a cuppa and a chat (as long as they’re okay with it if I tell them I’m busy so off they go!) but I can’t imagine how socially inept someone has to be to land on someone’s doorstep to stay the weekend with no notice 😬 just tell them you’re busy!

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