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Original poster

Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

238 replies

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:20

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:11

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 17:44

your relatives or his relatives?
you may feel differently when they are dead and no longer able to turn up at all.

No, that's ridiculous. People know how to text or use a phone.

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:10

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 25/10/2025 16:38

Why did you let them in?

So you tell people you are close to (family or close friends presumably, if they're staying over) that they can't come in and shut the door in their faces?

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:09

Justcallmedaffodil · 25/10/2025 16:26

60 miles isn’t that far at all, I’d have made them a meal/offered tea and biscuits (time-depending) if I was feeling generous and made it clear that my own plans for the weekend don’t involve them staying. Don’t become a doormat.

Absolutely this. They're unbelievably rude.

Lilyowl · 25/10/2025 18:09

ruuuuude, I would be so annoyed that if just be bad company all weekend.

BruFord · 25/10/2025 18:08

WinterTreacle · 25/10/2025 18:03

Only my son would be welcome without an invite and anytime.

@WinterTreacle Yes, my children can turn up any time, but that doesn’t extend to DH’s siblings, I’m afraid. His sister doesn’t seem to get that, although she might be starting to realize after DH announced that he was staying with her. 😂

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:08

They wouldn't be staying overnight, if it were me. Fuck that.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 25/10/2025 18:06

Did you not check who was at the door before answering? I have been known to hide 😂

LoyalMember · 25/10/2025 18:06

Horrible, entitled behaviour. Who the Hell would do that?

Sparkletastic · 25/10/2025 18:05

Context?

WinterTreacle · 25/10/2025 18:03

Only my son would be welcome without an invite and anytime.

InTheFiveRiverValley · 25/10/2025 18:02

Which relatives? I'd have no problem with adult children doing this, including with partners, but that's because they don't need hosting and I don't feel observed/ judged by them - plus even the one who's moved out properly still has a bedroom here which hasn't been repurposed.

Other relatives might drop by but definitely not to stay the night without prior arrangements.

How you feel is completely understandable unless it's your children.

WinterTreacle · 25/10/2025 18:01

My worst nightmare is unexpected guests even for an hour so this would send me in a tailspin!

it is beyond rude.

ThejoyofNC · 25/10/2025 17:59

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 17:44

your relatives or his relatives?
you may feel differently when they are dead and no longer able to turn up at all.

Don't be so ridiculous. So you have to put up with anything from anyone because they'll die one day?

Dunnocantthinkofone · 25/10/2025 17:57

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 17:44

your relatives or his relatives?
you may feel differently when they are dead and no longer able to turn up at all.

There’s always one 🙄

ShesNeverSeenAShadeOfGray · 25/10/2025 17:54

IF they're your family, send them home.
If they're your partner's family, he sends them home OR he caters to them while you do something else.

Cranarc · 25/10/2025 17:51

Hideous. Send them home. I suppose it's too late to claim you're waiting on a call from the council to deal with a bedbug infestation.

NovaF · 25/10/2025 17:50

Can you just lie and say you just found a shingles rash and you dont want to infect them, they will drive like the wind in the opposite direction!

MeetMyCat · 25/10/2025 17:48

DH’s sister once announced on Saturday, that she was arriving on Monday for a 4 night stay. DH and I had a furious row, he said we couldn’t decline because she’s family. Interestingly he was shattered by the end of the stay, four consecutive nights spent being “on” instead of being able to chill at home. I thought it was dreadfully rude.

It wasn’t the first time either, some years earlier, DH got a “ are you around next weekend, we could pop by” message which morphed into 3 people needing full board for 4 days.

user793847984375948 · 25/10/2025 17:46

Why did you answer the door? Do you have a Ring? Get one. Just because someone knocks on your door doesn't mean you have to answer.

I'm curious what they were going to do if you were not in? Can you ask them for me please?

SatsumaDog · 25/10/2025 17:45

Ridiculous! You don’t just turn up unannounced and demand to stay. 60 miles is no distance. Tell them it’s not convenient and they need to go home!

outerspacepotato · 25/10/2025 17:44

Can you get their keys and go to their house and hang for the weekend?

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 17:44

your relatives or his relatives?
you may feel differently when they are dead and no longer able to turn up at all.

PGmicstand · 25/10/2025 17:42

Turning up on the offchance you're in, to have a cup of tea and a natter is a bit cheeky, but potentially pleasant.

Turning up unannounced, expecting to stay, is CFery. You have plans. (Or at least, you might have plans). They can go and book into a hotel or something, surely?

Shoxfordian · 25/10/2025 17:39

Why have you let them stay? Its really down to you to say no op

gannett · 25/10/2025 17:38

I can't fathom the mindset of anyone who just... does this. What if the people you've unilaterally decided to spend the weekend with aren't in?

Nor the mindset of someone who doesn't respond by (at the very best) offering a cup of tea but making up plans for later that day, so sorry, but we can only have you for an hour at the most, why don't you arrange your visit ahead of time next time?

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