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Original poster

Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

238 replies

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:20

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 25/10/2025 18:39

I would have said something along the lines of "Oh, what a shame. If I had known you were coming I wouldn't have made arrangements for this weekend. It's lovely to see you but I have plans. I'll make you a cup of tea before you go, but we will have to rearrange for another weekend"

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2025 18:37

It’s always going to be rude, but it would be really nice to have some context!!

Frogs88 · 25/10/2025 18:35

Extremely rude. Especially for a stay over. They had at least a few hours to phone you and ask even if it was planned last minute. Idk do people think stuff like this is a nice surprise? I’d make it very clear that if they do it again they won’t be let in.

CrimsonStoat · 25/10/2025 18:35

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

Always answer the door with your coat on and holding your keys.

Then you can be either just going out or just getting in depending on who it is.

GreenCandleWax · 25/10/2025 18:33

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:25

I just want to be on my own.

Tell them that. Its perfectly reasonable. They have been there two hours or so, and can go home now.

Horses7 · 25/10/2025 18:31

Yikes ! My worst nightmare - I feel your discomfort and annoyance!

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 18:31

ThejoyofNC · 25/10/2025 17:59

Don't be so ridiculous. So you have to put up with anything from anyone because they'll die one day?

Show quote history

you may want to reconsider the context of my comment.

ConverseAddict · 25/10/2025 18:29

Sorry I’m actually going away tomorrow very early so you’ll either have to go tonight or first thing in the morning…

My in laws nearly came (300 miles away) unannounced. Luckily they had told my BIL who just mentioned it in passing. We were actually packing to go away. They were furious because apparently saying at Christmas that they were coming ‘sometime this year’ meant we had to be prepared for them to visit at any time. At least they sulked and didn’t come for a few years.

StrawberryJangle · 25/10/2025 18:28

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:10

So you tell people you are close to (family or close friends presumably, if they're staying over) that they can't come in and shut the door in their faces?

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Absolutely.

It's not my concern. I don't want them in my house, it's not convenient, I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my home.

We all have different relationships with our relatives.

CarpetKnees · 25/10/2025 18:28

Come on @Teizzz
Come back and give us some context.

It is really bizarre to turn up on someone's doorstep and "tell them" you are staying over. There must be some context.

Perhaps you can also explain why you've just not said "No, you're not" ?

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 18:28

Dunnocantthinkofone · 25/10/2025 17:57

There’s always one 🙄

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wait til your parents are dead then think again.

winterbluess · 25/10/2025 18:26

What the hell? I wouldn't have even let them in 🤣 would have said i was busy all weekend.. sorry!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2025 18:26

Utterly beyond rude!

Iwantmyoldnameback · 25/10/2025 18:25

Asca messy person my spare bed would not be guest ready. In fact the bedroom would not be guest ready.

StrawberryJangle · 25/10/2025 18:24

ThroughTheRedDoor · 25/10/2025 16:24

How does that go down?

Knock knock: hiya, SURPRISE! We thought we'd come and stay 2 nights at your house! What's for tea?

Fuck all because I'm off out for the weekend with my mate.
Sorry about that.

shuts door

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:22

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:16

I get that, it would piss me off too. But would you actually tell family at the door that you have other plans and close the door on them?

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Yes, I can't say I never would.

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:21

Dunnocantthinkofone · 25/10/2025 18:19

Well my family would not do anything so bloody rude but if I was unfortunate enough to be saddled with pig ignorant relatives, then yes, I would

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Quoted wrong post, sorry

QueenStevie · 25/10/2025 18:19

DD and or DD's BF yes. Anytime.
Anyone else nol unless their house had just burned down or similar.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 25/10/2025 18:19

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:16

I get that, it would piss me off too. But would you actually tell family at the door that you have other plans and close the door on them?

Show quote history

Well my family would not do anything so bloody rude but if I was unfortunate enough to be saddled with pig ignorant relatives, then yes, I would

Shinyandnew1 · 25/10/2025 18:17

Who actually does this?!

But to be honest, you are the only person who can stop this. Why haven't you told them it's not convenient and to never just turn up on your doorstep to stay without being invited first?!

It's incredibly rude.

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:16

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:12

If they show up unannounced, I can't say that I wouldn't. I would have other plans. They didn't bother to check. Not my problem. Honestly. It would piss me off enough.

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I get that, it would piss me off too. But would you actually tell family at the door that you have other plans and close the door on them?

Luckyingame · 25/10/2025 18:15

Relatives never do this to me because I set up very strong boundaries for myself.
Don't be afraid to do the same.

shhblackbag · 25/10/2025 18:12

lamamo · 25/10/2025 18:10

So you tell people you are close to (family or close friends presumably, if they're staying over) that they can't come in and shut the door in their faces?

Show quote history

If they show up unannounced, I can't say that I wouldn't. I would have other plans. They didn't bother to check. Not my problem. Honestly. It would piss me off enough.

littlebilliie · 25/10/2025 18:12

We are just back from 60 mile each way round trip to see dc - back in the day perfect

Wowthatwasabigstep · 25/10/2025 18:12

Are you mute? How about I am sorry that doesn’t work for me or try well relative it has been an utter thrill to see you albeit unexpectedly however I have plans for the evening so shall I help you to your car.

They can only impose on you if you let them.

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