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AIBU?

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Original poster

Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

238 replies

Teizzz · 25/10/2025 16:20

Relatives have turned up to stay unannounced from 60 miles away. I was looking forward to having a very chilled weekend watching what I wanted on tv and snacking with some lovely walks.

AIBU to think its rude to turn up unannounced?

OP posts:
TheDenimPoet · 25/10/2025 23:38

It's very rude and they wouldn't have got through the door if they'd turned up at mine.

RachelGreep87 · 25/10/2025 23:32

You have ruined your own weekend by enabling their rudeness.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/10/2025 23:26

Ryvitaancheese · 25/10/2025 23:19

I personally do not have a problem with people calling unannounced for a quick chat,tea and cake. HNRTFT so maybe a back story. Definitely YANBU if just a call from nowhere.

Well... there might be a clue in the thread title, something about coming to STAY...

Ryvitaancheese · 25/10/2025 23:19

I personally do not have a problem with people calling unannounced for a quick chat,tea and cake. HNRTFT so maybe a back story. Definitely YANBU if just a call from nowhere.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 25/10/2025 23:16

Perhaps OP has taken on board all our suggestions, and a violent confrontation has led to police custody for one or all of them?

NetZeroZealot · 25/10/2025 22:42

We definitely need more info from the OP before we can judge.

Letmehaveabloodyusernameplease · 25/10/2025 21:46

Just casually mention that you've all just got over norovirus, that should send them packing.

Londonrach1 · 25/10/2025 21:33

Just say no. 60 miles is around an hour away.

Mewling · 25/10/2025 21:31

@Wot23OP hasn’t actually said it’s their parents? You don’t have to put your regret you didn’t treat your parents properly whilst they were alive onto someone else.

ResusciAnnie · 25/10/2025 21:05

60 miles is an hour away, that’s nothing. They’d have to go home if they did that to me!

thepariscrimefiles · 25/10/2025 20:56

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 20:42

OK so you are one of those posters who won't accept an alternative viewpoint and think everyone should burst into tears of compassion for the OP over something as trivial as an unannounced visit?

Edited
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Such hyperbole! No-one is bursting into tears of compassion for OP. Lots of people are agreeing that uninvited guests who turn up to stay with no warning are really annoying. OP hasn't actually said who these people are so they may not even be her parents. Shoehorning in some emotional blackmail about dead parents isn't necessary.

CrackingOn50 · 25/10/2025 20:53

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 18:28

wait til your parents are dead then think again.

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As long as they're really cool ghosts and add Halloween atmosphere. If they're Enfield poltergeist type 70s weirdos then I'll tell them not to bother.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/10/2025 20:53

So did they stay ?

Rosscameasdoody · 25/10/2025 20:51

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 20:40

good to know you would rather not see your parents than unexpectedly see them. It won't be a red herring when you know it will never happen again...then you might show more interest / care

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What bullshit.

Rosscameasdoody · 25/10/2025 20:49

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 20:42

OK so you are one of those posters who won't accept an alternative viewpoint and think everyone should burst into tears of compassion for the OP over something as trivial as an unannounced visit?

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It’s not an alternative viewpoint, it’s an over dramatisation. If you can’t see that this isn’t trivial to the OP then it’s a case of pot, kettle, black.

CarpetKnees · 25/10/2025 20:47

@Wot23 .

No-one is bursting in to tears. Don't be ridiculous.

good to know you would rather not see your parents than unexpectedly see them. It won't be a red herring when you know it will never happen again...then you might show more interest / care

No-one is saying that.

Everyone - even those of us who have lost our parents - are simply saying no-one in their right minds turns up to someone's house without notice, telling them them they are coming.

I am part of that everyone, and I quite like it when people pop in for a cuppa unannounced, but I would also be totally okay if I called on someone for a cuppa, to find it wasn't convenient. I wouldn't expect anyone to let me in if it weren't.

TippityTappity · 25/10/2025 20:45

Hell no. I would absolutely hate that and I don’t think I’d be able to hide my annoyance 😬 DC are both currently under 16 but I imagine they’ll be the only unexpected “visitors” I’d appreciate! DP and I are having a much needed restful weekend after a tricky week and I’d be really gutted if someone imposed themselves upon us tonight. Tell them to politely piss off.

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 20:42

thepariscrimefiles · 25/10/2025 19:49

My parents are dead but I'm not one of those annoying posters who will try and guilt trip an OP by saying that I'd give anything to have my parents back and them turning up to stay unannounced.

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OK so you are one of those posters who won't accept an alternative viewpoint and think everyone should burst into tears of compassion for the OP over something as trivial as an unannounced visit?

SMDX3 · 25/10/2025 20:41

💯 agree with you. What if you had plans to be out all day? Or were with friends, on a day out etc. how odd. What was their reasoning for showing up?

Wot23 · 25/10/2025 20:40

Rosscameasdoody · 25/10/2025 19:17

Red Herring argument. OP knows they won’t be able to turn up unannounced when they’re dead - the point is she wants them to stop turning up unannounced now.

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good to know you would rather not see your parents than unexpectedly see them. It won't be a red herring when you know it will never happen again...then you might show more interest / care

Borethefuckoff · 25/10/2025 20:38

Who are they? Why did they just turn up? Surely they know you well enough to know you’d not appreciate this!
I don't know anyone who would do this!

snoopyfanaccountant · 25/10/2025 20:30

DD1 is 25 and she and her fiancé are going to a theatre show near us a fortnight tonight (she lives in a smaller city about 90 minutes drive from here). She knows that they are always welcome to stay over here but when we spoke earlier she checked that it was ok for them to stay over. This is her family home but she still checks.

LindorDoubleChoc · 25/10/2025 20:24

Nobody turns up to stay unannounced. I don't think this is a real post and I have reported it.

Poodlelove · 25/10/2025 20:06

It's rude.

Same as popping in without texting / phoning .
Also so rude to out stay your welcome.
People are selfish .

MintDog · 25/10/2025 20:02

I quite often do a 350 mile round trip to see my parents, there and back in the day. 60 miles is nothing. Say they're welcome to stay a couple of hours and then bye bye.