Visitors turning up to stay has ruined my weekend

This reads a bit like one of those attention grabbing facebook posts. Without knowing the nature of the relationship it is pointless commenting. Parents? Sibling? Grandparents even? Uncle? One thing I would offer that would cover all of them is letting them know clearly that notice would be preferable in future. How you phrase that is down to you and depends on your closeness

I'm in my 60s and therefore only have another two or three decades in which to plague my younger relatives with unannounced visits and raids on their supplies of Battenburg. However, I won't be doing it. Just the thought of someone turning up out of the blue makes me anxious, so I can't imagine treating someone else that way. My company isn't a huge treat that anyone else has to be grateful for and my time is no more valuable than theirs.

When I was young, many moons ago and didn't have a landline, making a phone-call involved having the right change, or a phone card and catching the person in and near their phone. It was a completely different world to the one we're in now, rattling with gizmos, gadgets and platforms. It wouldn't even cross my mind to show up on someone's doorstep without so much as a text message when the means to communicate is permanently within easy reach.

ETA: YNBU OP.

I guess there is a back story here. Who are these people? Have they done it before? I am sometimes irritated if my adult children just turn up but I would never refuse them a bed. Would not expect anyone else to just turn up.

I have a good friend who I'd just go and hide at saying I was away for the weekend. Or go and see a friend who lives further away and takes a suitcase.

Awful, hope you're okay OP

Wow. So rude and entitled. Were they in any contact with you in the weeks prior to showing up unannounced?

My worse nightmare !! Why couldn’t they call ? Totally entitled

@Teizzz

Exactly this! ⬆️ Tell them you have plans because yoy had no idea they were coming, give them a coffee & get them gone!!!! Simple. No way I'd give in to that.

I smell a very bored person having a bit of a laugh at Mumsnet poster’s expense

1 vague op and one vague 2nd post within 10 pages of replies

Apparently this is perfectly fine with my mils family!

I would be firm as you can bet it's going to happen again and they may be testing the waters.

Why are there so many piss takers around.

Hope you got time on your own OP. I’ve had this before, only once but I remember being so pissed off.

Is the relative your child? It would still be rude but slightly alter my perspective on it.

We need more info! Did they stay or did you send them packing? Are they close relatives and do they have form for being CFs?

I’d be furious is somebody did this to me but it’s hard to stick up for yourself when you’re caught off guard like that, so I hope you managed to get rid of them xx

This is your reminder to order a RING doorbell, so you can pretend to be a
out next time they make a surprise visit.

Id be annoyed too, that’s so disrespectful.

I'm not that keen on people popping in unannounced for a coffee, nevermind overnight stays 😅
You need to be very firm and clear when they leave that a repeat surprise visit in the future won't be possible. I suspect they only did this knowing you would be unlikely to turn them away.
Boundaries.

This is SO bloody rude!
What relation are they? Do you live somewhere that people would want to just ‘pop in’ and stay for a few days and do tourist things?
It seems so incredibly rude… I think when they leave I would ask them to give you some notice next time as you’ve had to change plans to accommodate them!

So when they said "We thought we would stay over" why didnt you say "Oh sorry I am afraid thats not possible"?

Because I've worked 45 miles from my home (mixture of little roads and dual carriageway) and it took 50 mins to get there.

I worked 55 miles in the other direction, again same mix of roads. That took just under an hour.

We also live an hour from the coast. Which is 57 miles away.

Just tell them no?
They can't just decide to stay at your house.

Well, I think you were unreasonable to accept the visit, as you clearly did.

My mum, sister and rest of the family live 36 miles away but it's a two hour journey.

My partners family live 150 miles away,a 3 hour journey.

One is a day trip, the other is not.

However, none of our family would just turn up. They know they'd get a cuppa and a goodbye!

On the off chance you read this, now is the time to set boundaries. It is necessary in this life to be very territorial. Recognise your patch and defend it at all fucking costs. It's your Manor, not theirs.

To stay, for sure it’s unreasonable.

For a cup of coffee enroute from somewhere else, perhaps is acceptable.

My colleague at work - who comes from a non-UK background - says the former is not unknown in her community, but she is an expert in pretending not to be in to forestall just such an eventuality.

OP can't post - she's too busy hosting at no notice...