Don't have kids you can't afford!

I would struggle to put a roof over mine and my children's head if my husband and I divorced. I'm on minimum wage, wouldn't get any kind of mortgage, even for a shared ownership with a 50K deposit and rentals are so expensive and the demand is so high that given a choice, most landlords would choose a professional rather than me.

I've never been able to afford kids though, I've never earned that much even in my mid 20s when we decided to start a family. Due to my wages and an unsociable hours job I didn't want to stay in (and progression with children is almost impossible) it made sense to drop down to part time evenings and weekends so that no childcare fees were necessary.

As a result I'm finding it almost impossible to find any kind of job above minimum wage, I've been applying for loads on and off for 3 years now since my youngest started school but I'm not even getting interviews for jobs that don't require experience. I have experience, I have a degree but I'm almost 40, my CV probably makes it obvious I have children due to my jobs/age so I can't compete with people who have been doing the job for years who are younger and more flexible than me.

Should I never have had children in a marriage because if shit happened I couldn't afford them?

I think most of the population would struggle to afford them without relying on some kind of handout because housing and childcare is just so expensive.

Even my husband would struggle to provide them with the same lifestyle they have now and he's earning above average.

I don't think people should have kids without putting some thought into how they will provide for them but if only people who could afford children without any kind of top up from the government if they were to find themselves single, barely anybody would have kids.

Thank you. I see it all the time online, and I usually just assume people have other things going on in their own lives. In real life, most people are kind.

The vitriol on here towards young girls in a very vulnerable situation is shocking. I'm sorry for your experiences

When you decided to produce four human beings, did you contemplate what would happen in the event of job loss, economic downturn, divorce? Or just proceed with indulging your "wants" without planning for worst-case scenarios?

How did people with such high incomes end up with so few assets? Were you married?

I can't muster much sympathy for people who just blithely assume the world will always go their way, and if it doesn't, someobody else will pick up the costs.

We're all benefiting from the taxes of others in some way or another, which way do I get to have a say in your life? Can I send you for some empathy lessons?

The income tax makes roughly 11% of our GDP if you failed to see how the two are related.

This! I'm in East London, paid £1254 for 4 days in 2020 . I'm pretty sure full time costs around 2k now. Nursery opened 7.30-5.30 . I used to work 8-5 in Central London, so had to pay even more for wraparound. Crazy.

I’m not making things up, I experienced multiple of these and I know others who have, too. What a nasty response.

I’m amazed at some of the attitude here, because MN is usually a very feminist space until teen pregnancy comes up then it’s a big fuck you to underage girls whose only crime was being pregnant.

I'm starting to think you are 13 with all of your immature, disingenuous nonsense.

There are nearly 9 billion (billion with a B) human beings on this earth, all competing for shelter, food, water, heat, breathable air. And a livelihood. The childish notion that everyone can have everything they want and a fun, easy, fulfilling job is laughable.

It's the fault of procreators not hardworking, contributing people like me that we are where we are. I'm not inclined to indulge them any further than we already do.

But anyone could argue your singledom is a lifestyle choice, you don't have to be in a romantic partnership to split the cost of living with someone rather than choosing to live alone. Why should you have less tax liability because you don't want to with someone else to save money? That's how you sound when you talk about other people's life choices.

They are paying 60% of all IT already, and how exactly is that different? I'm not in top 10% but I haven't been using the NHS or state education for years, where can I request my tax exemption? I'd rather spend my money on my child than on your state pension, and as you say we all want you dead anyway.

Keep making things up.

Unless they are raped, the solution to all of the above is to not have sex. It's not complicated. I know all about hormones but it's still possible to be a celibate teenager if abortion and contraception are off the table.

And I am no prude, I don't care if people have sex with 10 others on the hour every hour in the middle of the market square. But use multiple means of contraception and don't expect those who are more prudent to support you. Period.

That's quite a horrible thing to say in response to PPs point about sexual assault

Good grief! It's not worth going out to work if nursery is that much!

£30,000 a year for NURSERY?!😱 Glad I had mine when I did. (More than a quarter century ago.)

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Good point.

The village, if it's expected to subsidize, should also get a say in the actions of those they are subsidizing.

Nonsense there’s always been teen pregnancies just back then they were sent away to have the baby in secret.

I had a baby at 16 and the only thing you can say about me and my family now is we were a waste of tax money back then. But what 15 year old even knows about taxes? @No5ChalksRoad hates people for things they did years ago before they even knew about the waste of tax payer money argument

But generations of children today will be paying tax that pays for your state pension when you get older, are you going to turn down their contributions and take a smaller pension than people that were happy to pay taxes towards those kids educations etc?

In London UC won't even cover the market rent.

@user793847984375948 Don't have kids if you can't afford them? What do you mean by "afford"?

Some of the most neglected kids I've taught have come from wealthy families who cannot afford TIME for their kids as they're too busy climbing.

The other neglected kids are from parents who have far too many kids and don't parent them properly, and the kids are left to entertain themselves.

It's the balance between having kids that you have the time to raise properly, whilst also contributing to society.

@Ubertomusic Who denied you the opportunity to have children?

Not "who."

60% of income tax is paid by top 10% of earners. Top 10% don't usually use the NHS with 52 weeks of waiting lists for operations or 10 hours wait in A&E with head wounds, their children often go to private schools so I assume you would agree to them claiming their tax back as they have nothing in return for it and just fund everyone else including yourself, I presume?

That's different because those people are high earners. It needs to be the high earners paying more tax, not poor people.

That would be roughly 6% of our GDP slashed, just what we need at the moment

The tax pot is not the same thing as GDP.

... I guess that's evidence that intelligence or financial literacy isn't needed to be a high earner.

And if you believe that only the wealthy should reproduce, you are effectively asking rich, white, powerful men to police women’s reproduction

So instead you are asking rich, white, powerful men to subsidize your reproduction? Shouldn’t they have a right to say NO?

(tbh it is weird you bring race into it. Such resentment against white people in your OP, yet you want them to pay for everything)