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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not bother brushing her teeth then? She’s causing so much stress and anxiety and I’ve had enough!

133 replies

memyselfandI2025 · 24/10/2025 21:44

So my 4 year old REFUSES to brush her teeth. Point blank refuses. I try changing tooth pastes to child friendly flavours I’ve tried buying tooth brushes that are bright I’ve tried bribing her, she won’t do it. I tried telling her she will lose privileges if she doesn’t do it, nothin works. I have to try brush Quick when she’s distracted but it’s not enough! Explained to the dentist at her last check up and he just said I need to bribe her. Bed time is a massive battle of screaming and crying because she won’t brush her teeth

OP posts:
Original poster
memyselfandI2025 · 24/10/2025 21:51

I know I’m not literally going to stop brushing her teeth but she’s very hard work, very stubborn and I am constantly dreading teeth brushing. I talk to her in a calm voice aswell so I don’t understand why she is refusing

OP posts:
pjani · 24/10/2025 21:51

Cartoons on my phone. I'm not proud but both my children at times, aged 2-4, were wildly oppositional and this got us through those periods. Also used for combing my DD's long thick curly hair.

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 24/10/2025 21:50

I don't see how you can just stop brushing her teeth.
You are setting her up for a life time of problems with her dental health if you do.

Do you usually just give in if she doesn't want to do something?

FMc208 · 24/10/2025 21:49

No, you can’t just stop brushing her teeth because it’s a battle. Brushing her teeth is a basic need, you can’t just neglect that because you haven’t found a tactic that works.

Play dentist, pretend you can see the food she’s just eaten at dinner in her mout and make it a fun game, (Ooh look I can see that spaghetti bolognaise you’ve just eaten! Wait, is that the banana you had for pudding too?) get her to
Brush your teeth as well, get her to brush a dolly’s teeth, make up a special tooth brushing song, give her the choice of toothbrush/toothpaste she wants to use that day (do you want to use the pink toothbrush or the green one today?) explain to her that if she wants to eat ice cream/drink squash or whatever ‘treat’ things she gets that she needs to keep her teeth clean…

I know it feels like a huge struggle when they’re being so defiant but really, you can’t just give up on a basic need because you’ve not found the way that works for her yet. If she didn’t like her bottom wiped after doing a poo would you just let it go and give up?

fourelementary · 24/10/2025 21:48

Electric toothbrush? Much faster and efficient.

tripleginandtonic · 24/10/2025 21:48

Your dentist is right, she has to clean her teeth.

Littlemissbubbblles · 24/10/2025 21:47

Will she do it herself? Then you finish off.
Teeth cleaning is really non negotiable

Mrsphilmiller · 24/10/2025 21:47

Have you tried a couple of hours before bedtime, just a random time in the day? Might be she doesn’t like it as part of her bedtime routine.

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