Workplace gossip - Do I have a right to complain?

Huh? She’s not.

Someone in her family is gossiping about her to this man. He is spreading it to colleagues not her.

He’s a prick. You know this because he’s behaved like one.
you’re not going to cure him of being a prick by getting his boss or HR to point it out to him. In this history of humanity this has sadly never happened.
what will happen is that he’ll be pissed off and he’ll be unlikely to do it again.
im sorry this happened. It sounds horrible. But I’m afraid I think your expectations (of him becoming a reformed character) are a bit naive.

I would want to know how it’s being relayed around the family, I’m not saying the workplace chat is ok but that would be what would really be grinding my gears.

I’d hate to have to do it, but I think it would be best for you to approach him directly. I can only think of it being weirder and more awkward to ask hr to do it. I would hope that he’d reflect on it and apologise. I suppose he might deny it and claim it had got nothing to do with him. Is there any way at all it could be from somewhere else? Any friends / people with children who know yours?

Hmmmm, sorry OP but if your reasons are "He'll realise the error of his ways, because he'll know I'm hurt" then I think it's a bit misguided. Clearly he's a prick, and people do know when they're gossipping and being unkind. Lots of people genuinely don't care whether they're nasty or not. If you go to HR, it sends more of a message of "I'm not standing for this - I'll make trouble for you, if you make trouble for me". Nothing wrong with that at all, but just so you know how it comes across x

I would also approach him directly first, if you feel it’s possible. Office gossip can easily get totally out of hand.

I would approach him directly at work and say “Will you please stop sharing my business with other people, especially in work when we don’t really know each other” (Mainly because I’m not afraid of being direct/assertive and I’m not scared of confrontation). Hopefully it will embarrass him and he’ll think twice next time.

However, if you’re not comfortable with that then definitely bring it up to your line manager in your next 1:1 and get some advice from your HR department/People team.

I would also have a good chat with your partner/husband and make it clear that to
not share personal things we don’t want others to know with anyone else since there’s clearly a gossip and a blabber mouth in the family.

Quite!

Think I’d go the formal route. It clearly isn’t an isolated incident. He’s clearly passing on various bits of information regularly which is pretty outrageous.

OP, this would be dealt with very firmly by any decent HR dept, in a decent company.
Completely unacceptable.
He needs to be ruthlessly shut down.
I would be appalled if I heard a colleague speaking like that.
Do not concern yourself with any consequences this twat faces.
You are 100% entitled to privacy at work.

How is that in any way what's happening here? Did you actually read the OP before commenting?

Well I think you need to find out how he's getting this information and stop telling the person who is giving it to him.

Surely marital problems should only be known to people you can trust completely.

The point is that OP hasn’t shared any of this stuff- it’s a distant family member who’s doing the sharing.

I’d stop sharing anything personal with work colleagues as clearly it’s not being kept confidential.

I think theres 2 aspects to this- one is absolutely the issue in the workplace.

The other is how he is getting this information in the first place. If they are in-laws, DH might need to help. Can his close family stop gossipping about you to wider family? Can you and he make clear what information you do not want shared and will they respect that? If not, it's probably time to limit what the in-laws are told (i.e. I know my MIL cant keep secrets and will spread gossip gleefully - she didnt even manage to keep my first pregnancy under wraps for a few weeks till I got to the end of the first trimester. As a result she doesn't get told any sensitive information about our family- just positive stories about how well the kids are doing. That way, there's no gossip for her to spread).

Why on earth would he think it's ok to share personal information about you to others? Is he trying to cause trouble for you? Embarrass you? Rhetorical questions of course, I know you don't know why he's doing it.

Yes, I would be taking it to HR. You can speak to them off the record initially if you wish then decide what to do from there. I think he needs speaking to though - what he is doing is not OK.

Definitely raise it to HR. Although it’s not nasty as such, so maybe not seen as bullying, it definitely comes in the same sphere.

If you feel awkward about the person being talked directly to, and your name being mentioned , Then hr could put out a general message about confidential information not being disclosed and discussed etc. regarding staff etc.

If he's a decent person then yes, he'll probably feel quite embarrassed and reflect on his behaviour

You are being completely ridiculous with those comments. No one has the right to spread information about someone else in a workplace. They need to be told that "mindless gossip" is not to be tolerated. How would you like personal information to be shared around your office. Completely unacceptable.

I would be tempted to speak to him directly, but would also have let my boss know what was going on in case it escalates.

Well if you’re not senior but you are sort of exposed to scrutiny (I’m picturing something like front desk) I would probably ask my boss - if nice - to have a quiet word with him. Or his boss. Or your boss to have a quiet word with his boss to speak to him. It’s upsetting you and no one wants it becoming a big thing so this might just give him a kick up the bum to shhh.

Why don’t you speak to him yourself and tell him to pack it in. Then if he does it again make a formal complaint.

His behaviour is appalling and he deserves an HR warning.

I would take it further. If he is given a formal reprimand (which he should be) for discussing your personal situation then he would be a bloody idiot to repeat the offense.

Yes. It should absolutely stop him gossiping about you at work - unless he wants to find himself in trouble again. Please report him.