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AIBU?

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I’m unable to “sleep when baby sleeps” - is this some kind of sick joke?

104 replies

untitled1 · 24/10/2025 16:19

Exactly as the post title says. I’m a first-time mum and yes, I expected to be tired, have baby waking me up etc, but what I didn’t foresee was that I would be unable to get back to sleep every time baby wakes.

An example of last night:

I went to bed approx 10:20pm, baby went to sleep 9:20pm. Baby then woke 11:50pm exactly. After seeing if he would self-soothe it was clear he wouldn’t, so I fed him and he went back to sleep at 12:15am but I could NOT get back to sleep. I lay awake crying as the worry of me not getting to sleep was getting to me. He then woke 4am for another feed and at this point my body is in agony due to no sleep and he starts becoming active at this time in the morning or unsettled. I fed him, he then went back to sleep until approx 7:45am. I then had to be somewhere for 9:30am and I got there and broke down in tears.

My body is in PAIN when I wake up, my digestive system has started playing up and I get tummy aches and headaches. I’ve never had these issues until this sleeping situation started.

My baby is six months old and eats lots, so I worry sleep training is off the table because he genuinely seems hungry. I don’t even think waking once-twice at night at six months is bad anyway, it’s not his fault.

I speak to some mums (friends) who look at me in a way as if to say “stop moaning” and it pisses me off because baby waking at night is NOT the same as baby waking at night then you CANNOT get back to sleep.

I am back at work and my job is very flexible, so I’m finding myself going back to bed when he goes to nursery and wasting half the day because some mornings I feel like I’m going to DIE my body is in that much pain from no sleep. Last night I had two hours sleep????

My baby is a good sleeper really, when he’s asleep he’s very deep and falls off very easily. But his noises when he’s unsettled etc wake me up then I just can’t sleep. Even if he’s in his own room too, he is still going to wake for a feed so this isn’t a solution.

DH doesn’t want to sleep train until he’s 1, and DH does some of the nights and as I didn’t feel he was being supportive I decided to increase work hours so that he also shares more nights as when I was off it didn’t seem reasonable to share nights but at least this way I can catchup on some sleep in the mornings.

I cannot cope, I cannot. This is breaking me. Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
PastaAllaNorma · 24/10/2025 16:32

You poor thing!
I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat because I was bloody exhausted. I found breastfeeding made me very sleepy, it's such a soporific sensation. Can you feed the baby in your bed?

Posithor · 24/10/2025 16:28

I find magnesium supplements really help me get a more restful sleep and drift back off especially when I'm stressed which you sound like you might be (my 3rd baby is 8m old. I'm permanently stressed. Wakes twice a night. Won't sleep anywhere other than on me, in bed with me and with a boob in her mouth 🤣 What I do know is every baby is different, sleep training never worked for us, it does pass. Hope that helps give you some hope)

PithyTaupeWriter · 24/10/2025 16:26

No advice to offer, only a hand hold because I know exactly how you feel, I too am someone who has always struggled with sleep no matter how tired I am. All I can say is that you will get through it and one day it will be a distant memory xx

roses2 · 24/10/2025 16:23

According to my mother in law if you can't sleep at the click of your fingers you can't be that tired 😂

On a realistic note all that stress adrenaline will be keeping you up. Very few people, if any at all, can "sleep when baby sleeps" - this is a myth. If you have someone to help take the baby in the mornings when he/she wakes up then ask them to do this so you can get a lie in otherwise hang in there as it won't last forever. My youngest started to sleep through age 3.5...

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