Husband not taking medical event (seizure/tia)?? seriously. What do i do?

When the brain malfunctions / has a glitch it can signify all manner of things, from the minor - like stress, to much more serious issues. Nine times out of ten it's going to be somewhere in the middle, and manageable. The fear of being number 10 should be the driver to hopefully nip anything in the bud.

I think multiple things lead people to avoid facing their fears, practical considerations like loss of income with regard to driving, fear of potential treatments or outcomes, and with men, perhaps the "manly man" / stoic message from society. Also, I don't think it helps that we are blasted with messages that seeking medical help is reserved for being at death's door.

It's a horrible situation for all concerned x

I'm not sure how much a GP will talk to someone who is not the actual patient but you can certainly threaten it. And I would go nuclear and contact his employer and DVLA if he refuses to take this seriously. He could wipe out a whole family while driving if this happened again.
Chances are, he can be treated, but only if he engages.
I feel you OP. My OH is ridiculous about anything medical but fortunately nothing as serious as this yet.

That's awful. Hopefully he'll get some joy from the gp?

Ask for referral to the tia clinic?

Why are so many men so stubborn about their health? I get he will be scared but ignoring it isn't going to help.

he is probably aware he will have to stop driving, a similar thing happened to me. I had to stop driving for 6 months then it took 5 months for me to get my licence back. It was very difficult. If you don't drive I imagine that would greatly impact all your family.

I think denial is very common, especially it seems, for men.

i have experience of this with my dad and DH (dad it was a TIA incidentally)

if I’m really honest I dont think you will get very far “making” him care. The Gp won’t intervene to look after an adult who doesn’t want care because his wife asked for it. Medical professionals expect adults to take responsibility for their care.

if it helps, My dad was never told to stop driving even though his TIa resulted in significant eye sight loss.

He can kill not just himself but other people if he continues to drive.

@Fivegreenfrogs have you contacted the hospital he went to?

Not the point but why did you have to take his keys to stop him driving himself home from the hospital if you got to the hospital in an ambulance ?

Sending solidarity and understanding of your frustration - been there.

I really hope he can be persuaded to follow this up.

While it could be any number of manageable conditions, it's really important he makes sure there's nothing underlying that might need urgent attention. Better to rule out everything at this stage than be blind sided further down the line x

Sending a hug x

My father had several tias in his late 40s, I remember begging him to please go to the dr before he had a massive stroke and he laughed me off saying hed never have a stoke. 12 hours later he had a massive one in the middle of the night which caused substantial brain damage. Completely ruined his life . Tias are a warning and should be listened to or he could end up like my father permanently disabled and brain injured before hes 50 and had to spend 6 months in hospital , never worked in his profession again and it was years before he was capable of driving again . A trip to his GP would be so much easier

Just want to forewarn you that our GP refused to refer to neurology.

His reasoning was that referrals from GPs to neurology take such a long time that they likely won't find anything and the best way to get seen by neurology is during an active episode through A&E, so it is likely that even your GPs hands are tied.

DP had an episode similar to this and if I hadn't filmed it he wouldn't have believed that it had happened.

Ridiculously he also self discharged from hospital, and refused testing.

After a lot of complaining going back and forth and further testing they put it down to hemipleigic migraines.

They've said it probably will happen again, but he'd left it so long they couldn't tell if it was a seizure even if it was actually a seizure. Tell him to get a proper diagnosis time is of the essence and he needs to go back.

From your description it sound like epilepsy, a grand mal seizure. My sister has that. He should NOT be driving. And he should definitely get checked out by a doctor.

From your description my primary suspicion would be a seizure rather than a stroke. This won't show on a CT or on an MRI afterwards because it's an activity problem rather than a structural one like a clot or bleed (although it can be caised by a structural problem that might be visible). It would need an EEG or other scan of brain activity while it was actually happening, so unfortunately it's not easy to get a definite diagnosis from a single event - or to get a hard test result that will convince him.

I agree with PP that getting yoir friend who witnessed it to write an account of what happened, and for.you to do the same, will be very helpful.for the GP. And might also help convince your husband if it's not coming just from.you.

A surprisingly high number of people do have just one seizure - for reasons unknown - and it never happens again. But there is a definite risk it could happen again, or be a sign of a serious underlying problem, so it's very important he gets it checked as soon as possible. Keep badgering him to make an appointment - and make sure you go with him, because he wouldn’t be able to describe what happened even if he wanted to.

He needs to ensure he is signed off and allowed to drive. If he drives before being signed off and has an accident and causes injury or a fatality, his insurance company are unlikely to provide indemnity. That means they wont payout to the injured party. If i were acting for the injured party, i would be seeking compensation against your husband and his assets personally, this would include your house, if you owned one.

I suggest he follows up on this asap and stop driving until he is cleared to do so.

As someone further up suggested, i would ensure he has a will in place as well and a power of attorney.

You make him see by reporting seriousness of the issue to his GP and the DVLA. That's a moral obligation on your part. Similarly, if he ever got behind the wheel pissed, you'd call the police.

Even 'fainting' needs reporting:
www.gov.uk/driving-medical-conditions

It’s not for me to diagnose what happened to DH, but DD has epilepsy. People can have amnesia around the seizure; and confusion, tiredness and aggression after it.

I’ve heard people say, who only have a few seizures a month, that they feel knocked out afterwards for several weeks - ie tired.

@violetcuriosity I think this was said to make him see the seriousness of the situation for his wife. He should definitely make a will if he hasn't got one to make it easier for his wife when he does die.

My FIL had a TIA could only repeat one word over and over, luckily was given aspirin at home (as advised at the time, I know advice on this has now changed) and taken to hospital by MIL as an ambulance would take 5 hours.

He then had a full stroke a couple of months later and another more serious one 4 months after that. He was mid 60s.

Ring the GP yourself, explain what happened and what follow up was suggested. I am sure the GP admin can ring the hospital in question to get a copy of the discharge letter sent to them or at least read out to them. There is sadly a separation of primary (GP) and secondary care (hospital) so I would suggest them calling as this is urgent and you are concerned he is downplaying this as fainting which you disagree with and tell them what happened. He drives for a living and he will get back behind the wheel.