When did you start feeling “invisible” as you got older?

I'm ancient, and I'm only invisible to men. I'm no longer considered fuckable and it's rather lovely not to be bothered any more.

Very late 50s for me.

Same for me. Also feel it’s a blessing with regards to being looked at by men but not so great to feel unheard.

Can't remember, but it's absolutely fantastic, so just embrace it, OP.

I felt it between my early 50s and 60s. No it was not a state of mind, it was very real and I was ignored by young women just as much as by men. But I'm 69 now and I seem to have come through it e.g. I'll get stopped and complimented on my outfit. Can't explain why - I've always loved clothes so nothing new there..

The attention from men is different for sure from what I had when I was young but I prefer it in a lot of ways because it's more relaxed, and I enjoy that I can chat with them without having to worry about giving out the wrong signals.

Felt it for the first time age 45.

then finally ‘got’ what I’d heard women talking about four years. When you’re someone used to attention it’s very strange. It’s alienating. Almost an out of body experience.

I liked being young & getting attention.I felt good about myself & listened to.

Although I do think it’s a weight gain thing not just age.

It makes me angry when I can’t get served without having to draw attention to my presence and I tend to be a bit frosty. The patronising stuff makes me incandescent but I tend to smile like the sweet little old lady I’m not and let it go. This thread has decided me that I won’t any more - I’m going to have words with my hairdresser about her juniors and the manager of my beauty salon because I can’t be the only woman it pisses off. “Bless” with the head tilted to one side makes me want to slap them.

Never and I’m 65 😹
Im not talking about male attention though which I don’t think the OP is either

⬆️This.

You're invisible the day (or on the days) you blend into the background because there's nothing about you to catch the eye. Unless there's something highly distinctive about you that means you'll always be noticed, then this is the case for everyone, regardless of age. If you go about in uniform looking clothes in plain colours, with the generic hair style for your age group, no one is going to notice you. Particularly if you don't attract attention by your behaviour. If you want to test the theory, have noticable hair in a distinct colour, wear beautiful clothes and sashay down the street with your head high. Doesn't matter how old you are, you will be visible.

I am 55.
I am sorry this is happening to you. Do you 'fight back' or just quietly flick them the bird as you go about your day knowing the problem is them and not you?

I have yet to experience this and I’m 52.

I expect you will one day. I wouldn’t have been able to relate to it a couple of years ago. It started pretty much when I hit 70.

Maybe you are invisible to the people who don't matter

Exactly. I think often its shorthand for "people no longer try to pick me up". No great loss there.

It's a state of mind.

FFS you're in your 30s.

I'm 53 and I don't feel in the slightest bit invisible. I certainly don't feel invisible at work, I'm in a senior position and about 20 people in various ways are reliant on me to do their jobs: sometimes I wish I was a bit more invisible. Nor do I feel invisible at home: my DP and DD make me feel very visible.

If by "invisible" you mean blokes don't hit on me then meh. I don't miss this in the slightest.

If this is your benchmark of visibility I would suggest you might want to find other ways to validate yourself.

I've never really understood the notion that women become invisible as they get older. Invisible to who ? Lechy men ? I don't feel invisible at all, have lovely family, friends, work colleagues, don't give strangers a second thought.

Oh I see. You're probably right.

wow u sound great, id love to see a photo of you :D

@BringBackCatsEyes Sorry, I was being facetious. OP won’t be coming back I doubt, this is classic bot stuff. OP used ChatGPT to write this post, so ‘she’ can use it for an answer. Not that she’s looking for an answer. She’s scraping.

MI5 actually started recruiting middle aged women in 2015 for undercover and surveillance roles because their “invisibility” made them ideal spies. So don’t let anyone gaslight you and tell you this isn’t a thing.

I’ve never been that visible to men anyway and happily in a relationship, couldn’t give a shitr. Otherwise in work i wouldn’t say i was invisible.

I'm in my early 60s and don't feel invisible.

I'm going to be honest and it is not a boast (and I am sure a lot of others feel the same way as I do about this subject). I am 54 now.

I love meeting new people and always have. I always smile and chat and ask people about themselves.

In my younger years, this would sometimes mean that I would then have to decline the offer of a date or say that I had a boyfriend when they asked me for my number. Sometimes, more mature women hated me and were very mean and unkind.

Nowadays, I can be super friendly and smiley and have a chat with someone about their day and ... that's it!

Liberating.

I think OP wants answers from real people (well, as real as people on MN are!).