Warning: this post may cause a little envy… but only a tiny bit 😏

Perhaps she hasn’t worked since her early 30’s because she had an anxiety disorder from that time? Lack of work hasn’t necessarily made her like that. Maybe her anxiety came first.

I’m 53 and I have two jobs (by choice). One is 4d a week and pays the bills - I’ll be doing this till I pay my mortgage off at 70.

The other is 2d a week and, while it pays very little, it’s my dream job. It’s what I’d do if I won the lottery.

I could do the main job 5d a week and retire earlier, but I’d miss the 2nd job too much. I honestly feel really lucky to have found my passion and purpose.

Besides, I’m rubbish at doing nothing. After a week off, the itch to be productive kicks in.

horses for courses and all that! The world would be a dull place if we were all the same.

I hate my job so I went down to 2 days at the start of the yr after discussing it extensively with DH. It means I have 3 days off in the week. I can do most of what is required with young DC/house etc. Despite hating work, a part of me looks forward to going in as it's a break from what can sometimes become monotonous home stuff/life admin. I feel more balance basically.

I retired twice - once at 48, after my husband died, and then again at 52 😂 In between those years Covid happened and I was offered a very well paid job when I was 50 and thought, well, there’s nothing else to do at the moment and I have no husband, so why not. I soon realised why not and 18 months later went back to the original plan.

I split my time between the UK and a little place in France, and I travel. If I’m in the UK then my time is further split between being in London or down on the coast, and is spent planning the next holiday, catching up with friends and family over coffee, lunch or dinner, going to the theatre or gigs, sailing and walking. I do a few things for my parents in law, and a couple of local groups for whom my alleged expertise is useful. I enjoy admiring the garden, but not so much doing gardening… I’ll see my parents every 3 or 4 weeks, but they are completely independent and also travel so don’t need regular ‘support’. and other family members at a similar frequencies. My husband and I didn’t have children. If I’m in France it’s broadly the same, but no sailing and more visitors. On the holiday front, if we take October then I have just spent 5 days in Spain and a week in Italy. I’m in the process of selling the place in France and moving to Italy. September was mostly spent in the far east.

On the contributing front, I still pay plenty of tax…too much really, and this tax year will be the last I’m resident in the UK for tax purposes for a while. I feel no shame about that - I’ve paid plenty of tax over the years both when working and when retired.

@BankfieldForever Do you ever feel that your qualifications were wasted? You said you went to uni but then stopped working at 30 so not many years of earning really.

Good observation! No I don’t have caring responsibilities. My parents were much older than average and died when I was still a teenager, and I chose not to have children.

Both things could be seen as sad. I can’t see it that way. Given their ages I was lucky to have loving parents until I was old enough to know and remember them and go out into the world (I went to university) alone, and I never wanted children so I’m grateful every day that I don’t.

Both those things also had financial consequences that meant I could resign from my job at 30 and become a ‘trailing spouse’ to my new DH - we travelled Europe and the USA with his work for 15 years and then moved here to the Highlands of Scotland in 2015, and I think we’re settled.

I suppose I could work now but we’re deep in the country and after 25 years out of the workforce I don’t think I’d take too well to it even if someone would have me! - and I’m no entrepreneur so my hobbies stay hobbies. If others want to judge the way I live it doesn’t matter to me.

@unsync I think that poster was perhaps referring to people who have never worked rather than retired people?

Nearly 58 here. Not retired but only working two days a week.
However I have the grandchildren two days a week as well... baby and 4 year old, so not exactly relaxing!
However I get wednesdays and weekends to do as I please... allotment, gym, walking my dog learning a language. I'd love to stop work entirely but it wouldn't be fair while dh is still working long hours.
Three kids are away living their adult lives (hence the grandkids!) one has autism and will always live with us but he's a sweet gentle man and it's fine. The only thing we can't do really is go on holidays without him and we can't imagine that anyway!

"On top of profound grief, the loss of my career and identity has been difficult."
I too struggled with the mix of grief and retirement.

You do realise that you still pay tax on savings interest, pension and investment income don't you? VAT, insurance premium, council tax, VED, CGT etc etc. The list is endless.

Just because someone doesn't work does not mean they are not contributing. If they have sufficient funds to not work, they probably pay more tax than someone on an average wage claiming UC top up.

I am so sorry.

PArt of me I have to admit, wishes you had taken the bastards to the cleaners in a tribunal anyway.

Do you have the time and funds to see a career coach? My cousin was in similar ish situation (without the bereavement) and it was invaluable to her. It helped her see that her skills werent as niche as she thought. She returned to work but in a different sector and ended up setting up freelance as a consultant with her skills being used acrossed many sectors. She earns mega bucks but the important thing to her is a purpose and reason to get dressed in the morning beyond her kids (who are now flown and grown).

@Widow90210 I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and all of the tough things you've had to face. You sound like a great mum who has done so well to hold everything together, and I hope you find something work-wise again that helps makes things easier for you 💐

Nah, not for me. I'd love it for about a week and then I'd be purposeless and bored. And then it'd turn into depression. I'd like to work less but no less than maybe 15 hours a week.

I started work at 15 (Saturday work), full time from 18 until 51, then had no income until taking my pension at 55.

Since stopping work, we’ve travelled a fair bit, spent some money on the house, and just taken life easy. I do voluntary work, which I’m lucky enough to enjoy and seem to be good at - that’s been really important for me. More recently, I’m spending more time taking care of an elderly parent, which is effectively full-time, but that was always likely to happen sooner or later.

Like a PP, I don’t revel in my good fortune, but nor do I tolerate any ‘boomer’ bullshit. I worked hard for 36 years and have done voluntary work for 42 years, with no plans to stop until such time as circumstances mean I can’t. I count my blessing, pay my taxes and pay my way.

Am early 60s and have been made redundant recently. Fair to say our,then new employer was a revolting creature who ripped all the assets from the home,stole our pension,made vulnerable people homeless…an absolute cu#t .
Am actually still processing the mental damage he did to me,residents and colleagues!!!
Redundancy service has finally recompensed the absolute horrors we went through,am now enjoying the rewards that we so deserved and so relieved for my colleagues.Many have found new jobs but I am just going to wait now, reflect and maybe look for a job after new year ,if I can afford it I will just do volunteering work .

@HoskinsChoice do you not realise that revenue is raised via the use of services and by buying goods? Retire, drink alchol and eat take-aways, you'll be doing your bit.
I don't know anyone who does nothing, most people are helping neighbours, with childcare, helping older relatives, volunteering etc. It's the grandparents propping up the extra stuff in schools, community groups etc. My DP is retired through dusabilities, but he still drives his Mum about, daytime hospital visits for various family and friends, gives lifts to neighbours etc. My neighbour is disabled, I walk her dog, she takes in parcels for the street, happily has locked out teens sitting in her's, feeds people's pets and does washing and ironing for a few relatives, who work long hours. It's sad that people only count paid employment as contributing.

The idea of not working and earning fills me with dread.

@Horses7 Fellow feminist here. I aspire to be like you ❤️
I threw a curveball for my own mum - had two children from first marriage (now almost adults) but now I also have a 5 yo! My mum and my little girl are best friends; mum says she retired just to get busy again with her granddaughter!

Nc as outing.

I have worked my whole life. Since age 12 with afterschool/Saturday jobs. Then through Uni and immediately after started a long career.
3 years ago I was widowed very suddenly and was signed of work. I eventually took a years sabbatical and while I wanted to return, my employer refused a flexible request due to a change of business circumstances meaning I was physically unable to return to work as a sole parent to a bereaved primary age child. After 25 years as a top perfromer.
Despite being a FTSE 100 company, and being a major employer in the UK they ignored legal requirements and their own company policy and as a result I was made redundant, which Was my preference as I had to go anyway and so may as well have taken the money. Had redundancy not been offered I had started the preparation for tribunal.
Due to our financial situation following my husband's death, independent source of income and the redundancy I no longer need to work, I'm 46.
I spend.my days between the school run doing not very much and I can tell.you that it absolutely is not what you think it will be. I'm bored to teats, lack motivation and my mental health has suffered. I'd.like to return to work but find it difficult to find a role that I would feel good at that fits around my parental responsibilities. I feel trapped for now, and while this won't be forever it is difficult right now. Age isn't on my side, AI developments is reducing the.kind of work I have previously done and I feel I no longer fit anywhere. On top of profound grief, the loss of my career and identity has been difficult.

I dont.

Eldest five have done the decent thing and fucked off. OK two are at Uni but are unlikely to live back here again for career reasons.

Youngest is 14, I am still working but I am also a carer for my 70+ parents with serious health issues so with them and DD, I am part time. Thankfully the mortgage is gone so I guess that puts me ahead of the game.

Realistically I wont retire until my state pension kicks in at 67 (I am, thanks to a few days difference in my birth date, just scraping through the 67/68 argy bargy)

I'm 62 and a self- employed professional. I work an average of about 40 to 50 hours a week (nearly all from home with a little international travel). I love my life. Pottering around and not having meaningful work would kill me. (Well I am the main family breadwinner and still have a child at home so not much choice!).

I am 62 now. I retired 4 years ago and basically now live a life of leisure. My husband died 5 years ago and I had 8 months off, caring for him the last few months and then grieving. When I went back to work, the work had changed significantly. With 1 thing and another I could no longer cope and had no desire to anymore. I spent some serious time adjusting to retirement as I never thought I would retire but all the motivation was gone. Luckily I am on small acreage and so the critters and the land give me lots to do.
No kids. I too am happy to have the time to do things I wished I could have done when spinning plates was the normal to pay the bills.

I’m really wary of it to be honest. Someone I know hasn’t worked for over 45 years since she was early 30s. Having kids gave her a focus for 20 odd years and then the other 25, she’s had not much at all to occupy her. I appreciate that is a bit of a choice as you can have hobbies etc.

She is riddled with anxiety, almost relishes being unwell, cannot go out without being accompanied / driven, isn’t able to just out for a walk by herself (not sure if that one is physical or emotional). Can’t remember her ever going to the shop by herself for example. very enmeshed with her adult children and wants to see them multiple times per week, and speak on the phone every day.

I’m very independent and the thought of being that way by choice terrifies me! So I’ll work as long as I can even if part-time eventually.

I don’t do nothing exactly, I have a livery yard and do my own horses in the morning then normally ride for an hour or so. DH runs his business from home and the staff work from here too so there’s always people coming and going (as well as gossip to be had and cups of tea). I don’t knit, read or crochet but I do walk the dogs, occasionally bake and I cook from scratch every day, I also have a large garden and grow fruit and veg. I don’t have obligations and I’m free to do what I like. Is it paradise to some people? Probably. Do I feel guilty? Absolutely not.

I’m not educated on economics or anything like that but I worry about the next generation not having final salary pensions or lump sums from employers. It all feels so unfair to me.

Edited to add I was lucky enough to retire earlier this year at 55, I’m not bored and fully intend to enjoy time to myself after bringing 3 children up and working full time for nearly 40 years.

Surely retirement after many years of hard work vs not working for many, many years are two different things? One I hugely respect, the other less so.