To wish he treated me just a little bit worse?

Its an actual thing, its the boiling frog theory. Theres a name for it but my brain wont tell me the name.

Basically you're too lazy to take any action because that takes effort, its scary and its not shit shit, you're putting up with mundane because its not absolutely terrible, but you're not happy and never will be.

Stop being lazy. Stop accepting mundane, realise youll never be happy and Take action. End it, walk away, take the leap, make a change. Your life is there for living. You don't owe anyone anything.

not alright enough to make u feel happy

There’s your justification. You have to start believing that you are allowed to end a relationship for whatever reason you want. He doesn’t need to beat you, or cheat on you, or lie to you, or anything else. And you don’t need to give him a reason. You just say ‘I’m ending this relationship, I’ve lost my feelings for you and I don’t want to continue.’ That’s literally it. That’s all that needs to be said.

If he really wants an explanation and keeps pushing for one, then tell him it’s not one reason, but death by a thousand cuts. It’s this, that and the other. Nothing by itself, but when you put it all together over however long you’ve been together, it has killed all feelings and attraction you felt and the relationship is now done.

He could also treat you like a queen, look like the most handsome man you’ve ever seen and have a fantastic personality. But if you’re not feeling it, the conversation is over.

I get the need to have a reason for why you left. He cheated, was violent, something that draws a line in the sand that’s easily explained and understood.

Knowing that you don’t want this to be the rest of your life is a reason. A good enough reason. More than fucking reasonable reason.

Do you want this man/relationship to be the rest of your life?

Why do you feel like you need justification to leave? Are there other people (kids) who will be affected?

I wished this for so long. I used to fantasise that he would cheat on me, or start being openly vile to me so I would have a good reason to leave and not be the bad guy.

It never happened, so we just continued our dead relationship for years until I finally left.

I should have been braver and dealt with the fallout much sooner.

Sorry @ohyesido cross post.

The thing is, of course he isn't treating you badly enough for you to leave. He's found what you will tolerate and no more, he knows (consciously or subconsciously) how far he can push you, It's not a coincidence.

Are you looking for reasons to leave because you don't want to be the one to be blamed for ending the relationship? You want that justification. Is that really how you want to live just because you are afraid of what other people will say?

He could treat you like a queen, but you're still allowed to leave if it's not right for you. You don't have to justify your feelings to anyone.

You don’t have to stay even if you’re treated like a princess or whatever. You can leave because it’s right for you