To wish he treated me just a little bit worse?

Rather than him being 'worse'
It's all relative. If you raise your own bar, he won't reach it and then is therefore worse than you will accept.
Nb - not 'willing' to accept . It's ok to expect more!

Sorry @Dunnowhatimat , I cant find a link.

But I remember the opening statement of each OP. It said something like:

This is a place for women in difficult relationships who can't just "LTB".
It is a place of safety to share experiences and coping mechanisms.
It is not a place to scold women.

It was a bit like the Stately Homes threads for women trapped in bad relationships.❤️

If your not happy and won't leave, it's unlikely you'd leave if he did treat you worse. People leave relationships where they have partners who treat them well. Some stay in relationships with horrific abuse. You need to dig deep and work out what the real reason is for staying.

This really is death by a thousand cuts. What you’re essentially proposing is that you carry on with things, just swallowing down all that resentment and pretending it’s all ok, until you die. Do you believe that’s a realistic prospect? That you’re physically capable of doing that?

Or do you think that if you feel like this now, in another ten years, you’ll snap and either say something that there’ll be no coming back from, or someone will come along, and will be a listening ear, and you’ll find yourself being grateful for the understanding and thinking what a good listener they are, and how refreshing it is to talk to a man who actually pays attention to what you’re saying, and then you’ll be looking forward to seeing them, and before you know it, you’ve in a situation that is definitely going to test your faith.

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin.

Also, I might be inclined to ask him why you would show him appreciation for doing —less than— his share when he doesn’t appreciate you for all that you do? He’s supposed to do what he does; it’s his job as an adult. You grow up, you form a family unit, you pull your weight. What does he want? A nomination for a Pride of Britain award?

I’ve just finished reading your thread and that you’ve talked about your faith. I do understand that you made vows, in front of God and would implore you to remember all of them now. Not just the ones that guilt trip you into staying when you’re so unhappy. You need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband if you want to try and save / improve your marriage and counselling (try relate) can support you both. If he’s not willing to try and improve your relationship and/or listen and make you happy then he’s not abiding by the wedding vows he took either. It’s a two way street x

Why do you feel this need to justify your decisions? Who to? Some people just grow apart

I used to feel exactly the same. I used to wish my husband would cheat on me so I could leave. In the end I left anyway as I realised I couldn’t live another year feeling so miserable let alone another 5. It was the best decision I’ve ever made and I’ve never felt so happy or empowered x

I can’t comment on your daughter and her meds but I can 100% comment on your God. No god would want someone to live in misery. To what end would they want that? Just because someone was good once but have now become awful, to what end, for what reason or purpose would god want you to stay? How would that be honouring your god?

I think when it gets to that point in saying things like that you know there is no love left.
I would leave even if it made me look like the bad one.
You have to be happy and tagging along with someone you dont want to be with but dont want to hurt, just may end up hurting the both of you in the end.

So cut the losses and live be happy.

I get this. I suspect I will leave eventually. Don't lose yourself in the course of the relationship, it's ok to take your time, a lot of people who are in the process of breaking up have been there.

YANBU @Dunnowhatimat.

There used to be a long running, support thread in Relationships for women who stay because things aren't bad enough to leave. I found it really helpful back when I was stuck in that situation.

Why does he feel hard done by ?
Is it due to your DC ?
Even so, that's no excuse for treating you badly.

Does he have any idea how you are feeling ?
I get the impression you will plod on in this marriage regardless, in which case you should set standards of how you wish to be treated. Let him know.
What does he do that is making you unhappy ?

I spent 3/4 years waiting because "why ?" I died a death every day OP. You're not happy so do what it takes to be happy?

I don't follow a religion, but I understand why you feel constrained to remain in your marriage. Ask yourself if God would want you to be unhappy? Would God not want you to be the best mother to your child that you can be? Make peace with your decision, we have free will and should use it as I understand it?
Look after yourself, there is a future for you outside of your marriage

Edited for spelling!

Your daughter may need her parents. But the don’t have to be together. I can’t believe any god would want you to be miserable. If he’s treating you badly then he’s breaking his vows. Not you.

Yes. I hoped he'd yell, or cheat, or worse, so I had a valid reason. But the slow steady days of unhappiness ended up making me lose myself. I'm nearly 3 weeks out and I'm feeling so much better, happier, and peaceful. You can do it. It's hard but you can, and it is worth it.

Possibly you need to get in touch with MNHQ to entirely change your thread title and OP as you'll attract answers which don't address your real concerns.

I understand how you might feel you’d be breaking your wedding vows by leaving and therefore the ‘bad guy’.
But that’s not actually what the vows are: the vows are things like loving, cherishing, honouring and protecting.
How’s he getting on with those things OP? Is he cherishing you? does he love you?

If he doesn’t, and you don’t him either, then the vows are long broken. Splitting up is just being honest about it. And respecting the other person enough to be honest about it. And honesty and respect have to be good things.

You’re not happy.
That is bad enough.