2 year old driving me insane, when does it get better please?

Different stages have pros and cons. At two you get them out of the house as much as you can. It does get better but the challenges change but there's an awful lot of fun and laughter to come too. I miss my dd being that age as it was ok physically challenged but not mentally challenging like I have now.

We have a big age gap between ours and my first was a bloody angel until 3.5. This one though, is also a screamer. Amd still wakes at least once per night.

Dc is 2yrs 5m.

What's helped- changing to a cot bed has made bedtimes much better. Dc is now excited to get into bed and have a story read to them although still wants all the books in the world.

We give warnings- 2 more mins and its time for milk and story time. Dc doesn't quite understand time but knows it will come to an end. Thus initially triggered screaming. And then more when whatever ended. Now we get a whine and a whimper or a yes mommy.

When screaming starts over something trivial. We remind dc to use words, tell us what's wrong and that screaming isn't nice. It's slow but working

Another one that's worked and causes a bit of a laugh is when dc is full scream. We either ask a completely unrelated question which snaps dc out of it or ask if dc is ready to stop. To the layer we might get a no and some some more whining but then we suggest that instead of screaming they have a cuddle and tell us what's not quite right.

Meal times are still a battle. Refuses a lot of different foods but we keep giving what dc refuses and eventually dc has started to explore those foods. Like veg etc. We don't cook separate meals but serve exactly whatever is the family is eating. If dc doesn't eat much we do have a ore bath time snack of half a banana and some yogurt. Ifdc has eaten well not much of the snack gets eaten or its gets demolished if they had a picky dinner time. Tummy is full and we have less screaming at bedtime.

Books and little TV snippets on feelings has helped. Teaching dc Phrases like "I need help please" has been a huge help.

Dc is at nursery 2 full days and even they say dc struggles to listen all the time. Dc understand but thinks running away for a nappy change for example is fun. (Fml) and thay they ignore the screaming and it has now fully stopped there after about 4 months of them ignoring it. (Obviously not of he's hurt or needs comforting- they are excellent) nursery doesn't believe there is any sen in our case just a willful toddler who is pushing boundaries. Having them has helped us keep our sanity as they have given some of the ideas above.

Ohband we've started a sticker chart for good listening. Aby little thing they get a sticker. The sticker in itself is the award and is working so far.

It does get better. My DD is 3 early next year and I have really noticed a change for good in her behaviour.

You definitely need to put your DD into nursery for a couple of days a week. Your mental and physical health is also important. Your OH doesn’t get to veto you having a break once or twice a week to take care of yourself.

Christ I took the day off work last week and put mine in nursery for half the day, I’m pregnant and tired and as much as I feel guilty for being away from her, I also felt better for cleaning the house in peace and taking a damn nap.

I think closer to 4 is when they are consistently predictable and more chilled out. It's not really fair for him to say that he doesn't want her to go with nursery when almost all of the childcare falls on you though.
Other things that might be helpful could possibly be changing the way you talk - "how to talk so little kids will listen" can be helpful - sometimes it doesn't matter how you say it though they will just fuss either way.

I’m an oldie so know how much options have changed - but my DC went to private full fee paying nursery for 2 hours twice a week - it saved my sanity! Long before free hours etc

Nursery even half a day - you must have a break

youre doing incredible but you’re only human

Her situation does need fixing. She has a DH that does no parenting. That needs fixing.

How much screaming is it, OP? Just trying to get a sense of whether it’s ‘normal’, or whether there’s something going on.

Totally agree with this.
You need your identity back. What right has he got to be 'sceptical' when you are the one dealing with this drudgery day in, day out, week in, week out, losing your skills, sending your pensions down the spout and generally ridding yourself of all sense of self.
Enrol her in nursery, get back to work and tell DH to stuff his opinions.

Exactly this.

To the nursery she must go, unless your DH plans on dropping some days to shoulder the burden.

It’ll give you a break and allow her to be in another social setting and observe others who are not screaming all day, the nursery staff will also be helpful in cutting out that behaviour.

2 year olds are tyrants. Get the sleeping sorted, couple of days in nursery and try where you can to turn everything into a game. It’s a pita but it often means you get teeth brushing etc done quicker.

I’ll be back here soon enough with my current 10 month old and will try to remember my own advice.

I feel that most of these replies are missing the point. What you describe is normal age appropriate 2 year old behaviour. You are not doing anything wrong, as time passes so will the difficult behaviour. My son will be 2 this Saturday and he drives me mad, however I know 1 year from now things will be entirely different. Your situation doesn't need "fixed" just acceptance within yourself that this is the stage that your life is at just now. Also the shove them in nursery responses glosses over the fact that it costs an absolute fortune. Real nursery education does not start until age 3 and it is OK to wait until then.

1. get her in nursery

2. tell your husband he keeps his opinion to himself until he starts parenting more.

3. enjoy the silence.

It gets better at about 3 and then they calm down even more around the time they go to school. The twos are not a good hear hold in there op

It’s also not true that a child that doesn’t attend nursery is bored with their primary care giver. Two stereotypes from different sides.

It does get better but I also found that going in to combat with them / trying to be authoritarian made it all worse. You get trapped in a cycle of ‘don’t do this’ and everyone feels cross.

i found I didn’t have realistic expectations of a 2 year old and it improved when I did. Eg not rushing them, being more flex with plans. I also found increasing meaningful contact time eg reading or asking them what they want to play with, really helped.

defo get them in nursery tho. They have so much energy and want to learn. You’ll be fresher and more patient. The worst is when you feel all stressed, load of stuff to do and then your toddler is having a melt down. Make sure you meet your needs too eg time for something fun, eating meals etc. putting them in nursery may give you that time.

i wouldn’t listen to what your partner says about nursery coz you’re essentially being a single parent for loads of the week, so your assessment / needs are key here

Get her into nursery!

This is stupid. It's also not true.

End your child will probably develop attachment difficulties from being in full time paid childcare omg!! No offence!!

ignore OH and get her some time in nursery/preschool.

it gives you a break and you need it.

If you can afford nursary, put her in! She doesnt have to go every day. Just one day a week will do her and you the world of good. Honestly unless your husband is going to have a day off a week to have her id tell him do one, he should see your at your witts end

Is it genuinely without stopping, or does it just feel like it? Am trying to work out if she's actually upset/in pain, or is just a two year old. If she's not upset, but rather making a noise I would give zero attention to the screaming. You don't want to reinforce it with attention. There's no point asking a two year old to be quiet. Not when they are screaming anyway.

And agree, she's hit the point when nursery is about uer development and socialisation. And will give you some time away from her. Toddlers are exhausting.

Send her to nursery. Tell your bloke that until he's around to help he can keep his anxieties to himself.

I found age 2-3 absolutely horrendous and friends with kids have said the same. I was very grateful to go to work and drop him off at childcare. It suddenly all improved by age 5 and has been better every year since then.